Pursuing Peace

Pursuing Peace

Posted by Candace

You know that feeling you get when the Lord opens your eyes to things that you sorta wish you could have stayed blinded to?  Well, I have it right now and at the risk of bearing even more of my weaknesses as a human being, I felt like I needed to share some things that the Lord is currently teaching me...not because I really want to, but because writing helps me to process things and as long as I am writing it down, I might as well help someone else.  So if you are that someone, who like me has been looking for peace, here are my flawed jabberings on the subject.

For years I have wondered why I could not seem to "curb" or get rid of certain habits in my life... not just one, but several things I feel have often jumped on a pedestal and become my god in certain seasons.  The more I fought against these habits, the more they seemed to control me, the more guilty I felt, and the more I felt that I should just "give up" and let them rule. After all they were just little things... surely God Himself must need a good dose of chocolate on some days. 

No, I am not talking about big things here... I'm talking about the small things... the sleeping in that slowly turns itself into laziness... the television viewing that is never satisfied with to "watch just one"... the sugar cravings that before you know if have consumed the whole batch...the shopping habit that takes you into the store for "one thing" and brings you out with 3 bags.

See, there are no little idols... idols forever and always seek to become bigger.  An idol's scream at you is "MORE" and not just more, but "MORE NOW".  Any time you feel this inside yourself, you are most likely dealing with an idol.  Sometimes they are really hard to uncover because they hide as perfectly good gifts from a loving God who gives us all things to enjoy.  Some even hide as things that are easily passed over as "ridiculous" or something that "all your Christian friends do".  Only deep in your heart do you know that your day is not complete unless you have them... that it feels like there is not much to live for if you have to forego them...that any day they are missing is a "let's get this day over with" day.  You don't know when or how, but these "small pleasures" have at some point become crucial to the outcome of your day... they are your refuge...your rest... your hiding place... your peace... and they do a bang up job for a good hour or so before you need something else or something more.  Wait... "refuge", "hiding place", "rest", "peace"... just other words for "god", right?... Yes, they become your god.  They sit on the throne of your life and say "You can't live without us.  Don't even try.  We are in charge."

These are the idols that I am talking about here and the idols that I have wrestled with continually, always wondering why I could not conquer them.  Stupid things that I actually have chosen over obedience to Christ at times because... because.. because...  This is where the Father stopped me this time on the merry go around.  I had been fighting and focusing on the symptoms and I had no idea what I was really missing...what spot was I really trying to fill.  It hit me the other day and it has changed my perspective.  Not only has it changed my perspective, but it has given me ammunition against the enemy, because I now recognize who the enemy is.  My search really has nothing to do with TV or sugar or sleep or coffee...often I would forego these things to purposely try to destroy them and just find myself building some other cow over in the corner to replace them.  No, my search is for PEACE.  I want a break from the struggle, a breather in the middle of the chaos, a lull in the overwhelming storm.  This isn't a wrong desire and it is not something that needs to change, but it IS the root of the problem in that I often pursue the wrong solution for the right problem.  Of course, we all need rest, we all need a break, there is nothing wrong here except that where we turn when we find ourselves exhausted, overwhelmed, and done has a lot to do with whether we will be fully refreshed and ready to go on afterwards or distracted, frustrated, and looking for more.

Understanding that idol-making is often a search for peace made me realize that I have a choice to make.  Jesus said, "My peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you, not as the world gives..." The world comes up with a myriad of pleasures that promise peace... they promise that if you just buy this car, or find a way to look younger, or watch reality TV, that you will find peace.  Yet these promises fall flat EVERY. TIME.  With every new thing that we acquire or spend our time on or sink our teeth into we may find some kind of temporary peace, but Jesus didn't die so that you could live on temporary peace.  He went to that cross so your peace would be permanent.  So it would be everlasting.  He stands at the door of your heart and says "Child, if you would just give me all those little things that you are using to prop yourself up, I will exchange them for my peace."

So the question has been presented to me (and by osmosis to you) "Are you willing to take Me at My Word? Do you believe it's true?  You say you believe its true, but you live grasping lies trying to mold them into your own tangible god that you think you can control?  Are you willing to let go of your worldly peace so that you can experience Mine? Do you trust me?"  Because I really believe that until we knock down the idols...every single one... we cannot experience the true peace of God that guards our hearts and minds... we have replacement guards on duty.  Do we trust God enough to take Him at His Word and believe that if we let go of the things we hold dear that He is more than able to fill those empty places with His peace?  Can we place all those things into His Hands...even the good and glorious things...and entrust Him to give them back as gifts when He sees fit.  Of course it isn't easy and it is probably even a process and it will undoubtedly look different in every person, but if we are going to pursue peace it start here, friends.  It starts with turning away from all other gods and looking full in His wonderful face.  It starts with saying, "No, chocolate chip cookie, I will not eat you... you cannot offer me the kind of peace that I am really searching for." and then seeking after the One who can.  You think I'm kidding... but I'm serious.

"Turn away from evil and do what is good; seek peace and pursue it."  Psalm 34:14

Note: I do not want to leave any impression that I think we should give up everything that we love because it may be an idol.  You have to determine between you and the Lord what things in your life are an issue.  These may be things that you do not have to shun for all of eternity...they may be perfectly good gifts from the Lord that just need to be put back in their proper place under HIS authority.  Try offering these things back up to Him and letting Him give them back to you as He sees fit... as long as you can receive His gifts with thanksgiving to Him and an "open hand" they are not an idol in your life.  It is when we are consistently seeking, pursuing, and grasping at these things and then keeping them away from God's reach that they transition to "idolhood".  Condemnation does not work in idol destruction (I should know)... peace pursuing does because what you are really searching for is something SO MUCH BETTER than what you are actually getting from your idols.  At least this is what I am in the process of learning right now. 

Standing On the Promises: An Adoption Update

Standing On the Promises: An Adoption Update

Posted by Candace

When I take Jordan to school in the morning, I traverse Eight Mile Rd.  About four miles into Eight Mile Rd, there is a pair of railroad tracks.  For the first two weeks of this journey to and from school, I flew across those railroad tracks with barely a glance in either direction (they say the faster you go across railroad tracks, the easier it is on your vehicle, right?).  Something happened one day recently though that stopped me dead in my tracks... I saw a "stop sign".  For two weeks, I had never seen the "stop signs" on both sides of the tracks... I mean to the point that I wondered when I saw them if they had just been put there that day.  My daily trek down Eight Mile Rd has changed and it's simply because I saw something that had been there all along.

Our pastor is teaching out of II Chronicles 20  and every time I open to this great passage of Scripture, I feel a little chill run up and down my spine.  Jehoshaphat's prayer is powerful in these verses.  He was facing a battle with an army far too great for Israel to defeat on their own, so the Bible says that he gathered all of Judah to seek the Lord (even the infants and children were there) and this is what he prayed before all of Judah...

"Yahweh, the God of our ancestors, are You not the God who is in heaven, and do You not rule over all the kingdoms of the nations? Power and might are in Your hand, and no one can stand against You. ⁷ Are You not our God who drove out the inhabitants of this land before Your people Israel and who gave it forever to the descendants of Abraham Your friend? ⁸ They have lived in the land and have built You a sanctuary in it for Your name and have said, ⁹ “If disaster comes on us—sword or judgment, pestilence or famine—we will stand before this temple and before You, for Your name is in this temple. We will cry out to You because of our distress, and You will hear and deliver.”

¹⁰ Now here are the Ammonites, Moabites, and the inhabitants of Mount Seir. You did not let Israel invade them when Israel came out of the land of Egypt, but Israel turned away from them and did not destroy them. ¹¹ Look how they repay us by coming to drive us out of Your possession that You gave us as an inheritance. ¹² Our God, will You not judge them? For we are powerless before this vast number that comes to fight against us. We do not know what to do, but we look to You.^[c]

 

When I pointed out to my husband my love for the questions Jehoshaphat asks God in this prayer, he noted that at first glance this sounds like arrogance on Jehoshaphat's part.  When you dig a little deeper, however, I believe that the Lord loved answering this prayer for three reasons...

1. Jehoshaphat KNEW God's promises
2. Jehoshaphat BELIEVED God's promises
3. God is BOUND by His Word

 

Jehoshaphat was not challenging God before the people.  He was demonstrating great faith in what God had already said and already done.  As a result, there was great victory in this battle and they didn't even have to fight (you can read the whole story in II Chron. 20, and I fully recommend that you do).

 

Friends, we have to know the promises to believe the promises to watch God fulfill the promises.  Just like I was blowing by the stop signs at the railroad tracks, we can be blowing right past the promises of God...never seeing even one fulfilled in our life, because we have never taken time to search the Word and to LISTEN for the confirming voice of the Lord.  His Word is there for the taking, for the digesting, for the upholding, for the victory, but if we are in too much of a hurry to be on alert, to watch, to wait, and sometimes to STOP, we will blow right past the very thing that would be our salvation.

 

So here I sit, waiting for two more approvals before I can get to China, even when the approvals come the Lord will have to provide an astronomical figure of money for us to travel, in a busier season of life than we thought possible and this is what I found myself praying this morning...

 

Lord, you are BOUND by Your WORD.  Are you not the God who promised to bring my daughters from the east and gather my sons from the west?  Are you not the God who wrought a great victory over the Moabites and Ammonites for Jehoshaphat and the people of Israel?  Are you not the God who plundered the Egyptians to build your tabernacle in the wilderness?  Are you not the God who has promised to NEVER leave or forsake your children, but to work everything together for good?  Yahweh, Creator of the sun, moon, and stars, Maker of the galaxies, and Lover of my soul, is anything too hard for you.  In a million years, I could never make happen with my own hands what you are about to do with Yours.  This battle is far too great for us, but our eyes are on YOU.

 

STAND on those promises, dear friends.  STAKE your lives on them.  He will be glorified in the end!

Come and See a Letter from Our Sweet Oldest

Come and See a Letter from Our Sweet Oldest

Posted by Candace

Today I received this letter from our Jessica Faith (Xiao qi).  I wanted to share in hopes that some of you with a heart to adopt older children will be encouraged to move forward towards the child waiting for you.  As the time draws closer for me to hold this girl in my arms, I don't know how I am ever going to cope with having missed 14 years of her life.  14 years this stunningly gorgeous and amazingly brave girl has been without her Mama. The parts in bold will haunt me until the day of our meeting. Jesus, redeem the time!

Dear mom, dad, brother and sister,

Hi

How are you doing? I hope you are all healthy and fit these days. I am doing good and I hope you do not worry about me. I met Katie in the BMH summer camp, she told me I could pray to G O D so now I pray for G O D everyday. I hope Kathie could be my GAMA( a special relation in Chinese tradition similar to mentor in life), is that OK? I think about you all the time, I really want to meet you so much. Could you tell me if the adoption process is going well? I hope to hear from you soon, I really miss you.

Love you forever,
Xiaoqi

 

 

On Adoption: Forgetting What is Behind

On Adoption: Forgetting What is Behind

Posted by Candace

Since becoming a part of the adoption community, I have read countless blogs, opinions, and training "manuals", all designed to help families transition and work through typical adoption issues.  I have read some really good information and some really bad, unBiblical information.  Wading through this stuff as someone who was not adopted (though I claimed to be often), can be exhausting and as my friend, Joy says, we don't have to digest everything... But when it is shoved in your mouth, sometimes you swallow without thinking when you should be spitting out (Oops, wrong reflex).  So as in everything, we MUST let the Word trump anything written or taught by man.

The Word is a pro-adoption book...to the point that if you have NOT allowed Christ to adopt you, you are lost...abandoned...without hope in this age or the age to come.  The Bible is clear about its stance on adoption...to the point that it makes it a requirement.  Within this requirement is this beautiful and amazing concept of redemption...a Life laid down so that we have the opportunity to live.  In this concept of redemption is a beautiful bride without spot or blemish...made up of all colors, creeds, cultures, and nations...all of us adopted by Christ and living freely in the family of God as brothers and sisters.  This is the amazing picture of an adoptive family.  Forgetting what is behind and pressing forward to what is ahead...not wallowing in the past, the "what ifs" or the "could have beens"...not going back to Egypt, but walking forward toward the Promise Land.

Of course, we live in an imperfect world and we are imperfect people so we all struggle daily to live out this picture to some extent.  Even the "oldest" children have weaknesses and find themselves "wishing" for things contrary to what the Father has ordained...there is a measure of imperfection in all of us.  But we are all striving as believers for the perfect picture that Christ has painted in the pages of His glorious Word.

And I think that is why I struggle with some things I read and hear about adoption.  Bear with me as I am candid with my struggle.  Please hear me out and try hard not to judge.  I know that I don't have the full picture and many times I am only going on the Word of God...and if that makes me naive, it just does.

I struggle when I hear people say that when an internationally adopted child receives a family outside of their country that they are not coming home, but actually being ripped from it.  While I completely understand the thought process behind this and the grief that comes with a child leaving his/her culture, home is where the Love is.  We aren't at home in this world anyway.  We are strangers...sojourners...so though a child might never look like or even talk like or think like their adoptive family, they are HOME.  They are where they belong.  Just like when we come to Christ, we don't hang on to our old way of life...we learn a brand new one.  Please hear me when I say, I am not saying that I think it is wrong to hang on to culture or traditions from our children's countries...as a matter of fact, I feel part Chinese inside.  Every time I come across a Made in China label, I have an urge to buy (I quickly realized I couldn't afford 90% of everything sold in the US, but I still get warm fuzzies at this label).  I am only saying that when God chose Kate for this family, she came HOME.  Home is bigger than what you look like or what country you were born in...it is where the Love is.

I struggle when I hear people say that internationally adopted children would be better with their birth parents.  When I see Kate run and play and be unashamedly loved...when I see her live in freedom and learn Jesus, I have a really hard time with this.  Maybe it is because I am selfish, but I think it is also because I see God's redemption.  I see our Father has taken something so broken and made it beautiful...and I just have a hard time taking myself into the "what ifs" here.  Again, maybe I am selfish... maybe I am unwilling to get into the dirt of a parent's pain on the other side of world... but maybe it is because I wasn't called to Kate's parents (and I pray every day that SOMEONE is), I was called to Kate and what I see is beautiful.  Is that at her expense? I don't think so... through adoption, Christ has given Kate the opportunity to be openly loved beyond measure and to learn about Him freely.  It does Kate NO good to "what if" and to "wish " that sin did not exist, that parents all wanted their children and could afford to raise them, that Eve didn't eat that apple.  Yes, we can let Christ work through us to that end, but this world is broken.  Yes, I grieve that Kate's parents are missing out on the gift God gave them.  I "wish" I could find them and share her with them somehow, but fact is, I can't. When she is old enough... when Jessica comes home... when we have to deal with identity issues... guess where I will take them.  Right to the cross... right where we all have to go... right where eternal redemption happens and your past no longer means a hill of beans.

I struggle when I hear people say the my internationally adopted kids will struggle all their lives with being different from our family...from not looking like us...that they will to some extent always struggle with identity.  What a fabulous opportunity for our family to learn our true identity is in Christ!  Do we believe it or do we not, dear brothers and sisters?  Are we so concerned with the worldly view of things that we forget how true and life changing the Word is?  Are we scared to believe it because this is the "real world" and we just have to stay "grounded"?  I don't know.  I may be naïve here.  Kate is not old enough to express such insecurities... but I will tell you.  I grew up more insecure than most of the population and I had my mom and dad around for most of my growing up life. I don't think this is an adoption problem at all... I think it is a "fallen world" problem.  We must know and cling to who we are in Christ because that is our identity.

So I may be adoptionally incorrect, but my life will be spent instilling the Word into my adopted children...praying daily for them...loving them as best I can... and teaching them that ultimately we are all in the same boat.  God has a plan for everyone He created.  Yes, my adopted children have suffered more than I would have ever, ever planned for, but somehow God allowed that suffering and He will use it ALL through their lives to shape them into the children He created them to be.  I will teach them to yield to that Hand and let Him use even the darkest stuff for His glory. They won't get a pass...an excuse to stay a victim even after Christ redeemed.  Because after all, don't we all have very, very dark moments...moments when we felt and thought we had been abandoned... parents or not, we all struggle through these things.  Adoption is not an exception to the Gospel.  Adoption is the Gospel.

^"13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Phillippians 3:13-14

Hope Happened Here This Week!

Hope Happened Here This Week!

Posted by Candace

Katie had never been on a mission trip...many youth conferences, but never an outside of the country missions trip.  The "Bring Me Hope" camp that she had been invited to be a part of would be the first for her.  She was invited by the camp director's son to go with them to China to love on children in desperate need. 

Katie didn't know it, but far away from Minnesota, where she lives, a host of people were praying that God would prepare our Jessica Faith for her impending adoption.  We specifically prayed that if there was any possible way, the Lord would send the Gospel to our girl before we could even get to her...that He would prepare the way. Even as I prayed this, my subconscious wrote it off as impossible...after all, there are millions of orphans in China and thousands of orphanages... none of which are particularly open to the Word.  Fortunately, NOTHING is impossible with God.

Shortly before Katie left for her trip to China, she found out that she was pregnant.  This left her loved ones very concerned that she should still go.  She would be taking additional risks by traveling abroad with a baby in her womb, but I think God was just putting icing on the cake.  Soon this special woman carrying her first child would meet the child growing in my heart who will become our oldest.  Katie felt the pull of Christ on her heart to take this trip and I am so glad that she did.

How she ever found out how to contact me, I still don't know, but I received an email last week through an organization called "Lady Bugs and Love" that forwarded her message to me.  Katie had met my daughter at a camp in China and got to spend a whole week with her one on one and she wanted to know if I would like to hear about it and see pictures of Jessica.  She ended the email by saying that she understood if I didn't...however, I don't think she was prepared for how much I did!!  I tend to be a gusher... there is no trickling over here... I have never learned how to play it cool...and it barely registered that this woman was a complete stranger. I told her that I wanted to know EVERYTHING. Then I connected with her on Facebook and the stalking really began :). 

Katie had taken picture after picture of our sweet girl... she had even taken a few videos.  I was overwhelmed as I browsed through the album... I may or may not have looked at it more than 10 times.  Better even than the album though was Katie's description of our sweet girl.  She reassured us that she is loving and lovable, that she was one of the favorites at camp, that she was very well-behaved, and best of all that she was open to the Gospel!!!!  YES!!!  Sweet Katie was the first to witness to our sweet girl.  She shared Jesus with her and she taught her how to pray.  She was able to be there for my daughter as she opened her heart and poured out some hurt in her heart that she had not been able to share with anyone.  Katie talked to her about forgiveness and taught her how to pray while she waits for her family to come get her.  Katie even told me that the Director of the "Bring Me Hope" camps was going to go back to Jessica's orphanage really soon and try to get permission to teach her some English.

There are many other things that I learned about my daughter from Katie's week with her, but many of them I have to keep in my heart to ponder.  Suffice it to say, it has been a heart wrenching life for this sweet girl who we cannot wait to bring home.  And just as we prayed for the Lord to prepare the way for us, we are praying that He will also redeem the time, because we can never get back the 14 years that we have missed.  Please join us in this prayer.  We also need you to join us in praying that her paperwork is rushed through as adoptions in China are rarely processed as quickly as we need ours to be to meet that November 3rd deadline.  I truly believe that the prayers of the saints were intricate in Katie reaching my daughter and I count on our sweet friends to lift this girl up before the throne with us..

Still completely blown away that God called a pretty, petite blonde girl pregnant with her first baby to share Christ with my gorgeous, brown eyed Chinese daughter who will become my oldest baby...and He could have stopped there, but instead He prodded her to find a way to contact me to share things that I really needed to know and be prepared for.  In all the millions of people in China, a girl named Katie brought Hope to our Jessica Faith and in doing so, she prepared our hearts and brought us Hope as well.  WHO IS LIKE OUR GOD????

For more info on "Bring Me Hope" camps, you can visit their website at www.bringmehope.org .  Bring Me Hope organizes summer camps for parentless children in China.  Most of these children are orphans, but some of them only see their parents every few years as they leave them at "boarding school" to go to work in the city.  Economic conditions and the Communist government force these parents to make tough decisions for their children at a very tender age, and the result is children without permanent homes and many times without love.  "Bring Me Hope" sends Christians from around the world to these children to love on them for a week out of the summer.  A $125 sponsorship to "Bring Me Hope" allows an orphan or a parentless child to attend one of these camps for the week.  Translators from around the country of China are also brought in to foster communication between the foreigners and the China treasures.  As a result, the Christian foreigners not only spend a week loving, laughing with, and blessing these children, but they also share their faith with these children and by osmosis, with the translator.  Many of the children and translators have come to Christ as a result of this program. It would be a great place to invest in the Kingdom.

His Greatest Blessing to the World is YOU

His Greatest Blessing to the World is YOU

Posted by Candace

***After rereading this post, I need to clarify that I wrote this under the obvious assumption that CHRIST is obviously the only One who changes lives and to know Him and to understand what He did on the cross is THE blessing.  My point was that Christ chose US to be the ones to reveal Him to the world... Christ in us, the hope of glory....meaning we are placed here for the express purpose of pointing others to Him.  Since He no longer walks physically on this earth, He has sent us to be a blessing.  No other blessing that He created compares to the one of a child of God following Him in obedience and with a willing heart revealing Jesus.**


My heart and head have been FULL today.  Wonderfully and yet dreadfully full.  For the past several months, I have been wrestling with the issue of the difference between social justice and the Great Commission.  Many people...many Christians...many churches have considered them one and the same and have lumped them together into the best possible mixture of the world and the Gospel.  However, just as water and oil will never mix, neither does light have any fellowship with darkness.

Today I turn 34.  I have had 34 great years on this year... 34 very blessed years...some of those years have been harder than others, but Jesus has walked with me through every ONE.  Today our Holy Spirit filled pastor preached an amazing message on generosity and then our Word filled Sunday School teacher followed up with a timely message on satisfaction.  These two things were created to go hand in hand.  You cannot be generous and not find yourself satisfied and you cannot be satisfied if you are not generous.  God created them as two sides to the same coin.  I have found this to be profoundly true in my own short life...

...And here is where I found the line in the sand today between social justice and the call of all the saints to "GO!"  It jumped out at me in just a few verses today.  "He made Himself poor that WE might become rich..."  Jesus intricately put Himself in a position of humility and yes, poverty...for the express purpose of giving us the opportunity to be rich.  He, the owner of everything, made Himself nothing... to give us the chance to live richly.  No, He didn't flush everything down the toilet or sell everything He had, but He did, very willingly, put everything He possessed on HOLD so that He could come down to our level, become like us, and relate to us. 

Social justice and socialism are both ideas that seem to get their start on Biblical principles, but then they run off onto the same wide path of sin that we all struggle daily to stay off of.  They lose their Biblical mirror image in a verse that says "Each person should do as he has decided in his heart - not reluctantly or out of necessity, for God loves a cheerful giver." 2 Corin 9:7    WAIT a minute.  Paul just said that if you are doing it because you feel guilty or you think it makes you a better person or someone is making you do it or you have impure motives in any other way, then you might as well not give in the first place cause God is looking for cheerful givers...God is using cheerful givers to build His Kingdom...God can multiply and multiply a CHEERFUL, WILLING, UNFORCED gift.  A cheerful giver gives because he KNOWS that it is the Christ designed path to satisfaction. 

Each of us were created with a "lot" in life.  We cannot change the color of our skin, the family we were born into, the country that we were born in, the social status that we grew up in...but we need to  have our eyes opened to the fact that God has a plan for EVERY ONE of those things in our lives.  He has a plan for our race, our creed, and the amount of money that we have in our pocket...but I think that those of us that have rejected the social justice and socialism bandwagon (as we should because it is unBiblical) have also forgotten a place in the Bible that says "To whom much is given, much is required" Luke 12:48  Have you been given money?  The Lord has blessed you with it so that you can choose to reach down to the level of others at every opportunity and use that money to share Christ with them, however that looks in the given situation.  Have you been given citizenship in a free country?  The Lord has blessed you with freedoms so that you can share His Name unashamedly and often with the people in your circle...so that you have the opportunity to GO! and bless others.  Have you been given a glorious family filled with love?  The Lord has blessed you with so much love so that you can share it with those who have never experienced it and through that love show them Christ.  YOU are His blessing to the world, just as Jesus was when He made Himself poor.  YOU are His ambassador SENT on a mission to reconcile the world to Him...He has not blessed you so that you can sit around and satiate yourself on the seed that He has provided you to sow.

The Bible is clear that "Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly. But whoever sows generously will reap generously." 2 Corin 9:6  If you cannot give liberally and cheerfully you might as well keep your love, your family, and your money to yourself.  If you cannot wrestle through reluctance or guilt or peer pressure or hypocrisy to get to marked joy when you are giving anything...chances are that those gifts will go no further than temporary satisfaction for someone's belly that gets eliminated eternally a few hours later. Only when we give fully surrendered with a cheerful heart and a soul that KNOWS it is walking in obedience to Christ, will we see the Holy Spirit take our gift and multiply it into something eternal...ETERNAL.  Cause I don't know about you, but I desire to leave a legacy... an aroma that reaches His nostrils and reminds Him of me LONG after I am reunited with Him.

So unless the Lord asks you to and you can do it with joy in your heart, I do not recommend selling everything you have and giving to the poor... I do not recommend moving to another country and wearing yourself thin trying to change their economy or society... I do not recommend adopting a child or several children... I do not recommend living in the streets to mimic the people you desire to reach... I do not recommend even taking the Gospel to a world desperately in need if you cannot do it in complete assurance of faith.  Because without Him, we can do NOTHING and even our best attempt at righteousness is as filthy rags. 

BUT!!!! YOU,  fully surrendered to Christ with your hand in the hand of the Holy Spirit believing in the unstoppable power of God, are the blessing that others are desperately waiting for. YOU are the Lord's greatest blessing to a world in need.   When you willingly leave your race or your social standing or your money or your temporary pleasures to get down into the dirt with people completely different from you, and you do it with a heart that just wants to love them and show them Jesus, YOU, my friend, are the Creator's greatest blessing to the world.  And I will guarantee that the more time that you spend "making yourself poor" so that someone else "might be rich", the clearer you will see how "unsearchable" your riches really are in Christ.  They will never run out...no, not for as long as He chooses to bless the world through YOU.  No one can force this on you, no one can make you feel guilty enough to be truly generous...you will only become generous when you are awakened to the truth that BEING the blessing IS the greatest blessing. 

"I will make your name great; and you will be a blessing."  Genesis 12:2b

The Blessings of Loss

The Blessings of Loss

Posted by Candace

Before I begin, I just want to note that I know not all losses in life carry the same weight.  Obviously the loss of a human is a much, much more heavy thing than the loss of an animal... I would not even dare to compare, but I believe in ALL loss those who know and cling to Christ will see glimpses of blessing if they will open their hearts to receive it.

We came home from church today to find that one of our precious puppies had passed away.  This puppy had not seemed to keep up with the other two in growth and I had been concerned for the last couple of days that something might be wrong.  The dogs were outside this morning and this little one had crawled far away from the others... from the comfortable "nest" that we had created in the deep shade...right into the hot sun where she took her last breath.

We were all devastated.  There is something about seeing a life form without life in it that reaches to your very soul.  This is the only puppy we had named.  Nathan considered her his responsibility and he called her "Caroline"..."Care Bear" was her nickname.  The boys took turns gently cradling her in their arms as we prepared a grave for her in our backyard.  We laid her down and I watched as David hesitated for the longest time.  He couldn't bring himself to shovel dirt over her.  Finally Jordan said, "Dad, you have to do it.  You just have to."

Death seems so final.  So dark and so unchangeable.  It seems to suck hope right out of life.  Unless you know the One who has already conquered it.  Then even in the darkest, seemingly hopeless moments, He reaches down and makes something beautiful. 

Jordan is the strength of this family.  His personality is strong. His reactions are strong.  His emotions are usually strong.  But I watched as my oldest broke down in sobs.  I waited to hear the grief of losing a puppy, but instead this is what I heard.  "Why did it have to be Nathan's dog? Why couldn't it have been mine?"  I heard selflessness come out of my son, that would not have happened in the normal dregs of life.  I watched as he "went to check on Nathan" several times...something completely out of the ordinary for a brother who had recently dubbed Nathan the biggest annoyance in his life.  And I thanked God for moments so beautiful in the midst of grief.

Puppies are admittedly not David's favorite things about life, but he is still shaken up about the death of this little one.  He feels responsible.  "If only..."  "We should have..."  "I shouldn't have..."  Doesn't loss bring out these questions?  Almost a refusal to accept what is...a desire to have known what was going to happen and change the outcome.  Even Hollywood has grabbed onto this cry of the human heart and made movies where changing the inevitable is possible.  The fact is this vulnerable place of humanness often is crafted into a tool that God uses to bring us closer to Him.  We are reminded of our complete lack of control in the midst of the valley of the shadow of death...of our dependence on the only One who truly changes things.  This is a lesson that we are all still learning around here, but one that my beloved especially struggles with as he tries to keep the world going on his shoulders.

So when Jordan said thoughtfully, "This is good for us, Mom."  I, not only knew exactly what he meant, but I fully agreed.  If we let it, every loss that God allows into our lives can be good for us.  It can change us, grow us, open us, break us, ultimately make us into people who look like Jesus.  Loss is not in vain when it is in the hands of the Great Redeemer.

I miss that puppy something fierce.  Every time I walk by the other two, I feel a lump form in my throat.  Earlier I was blessed to be able to share this crisis with a great friend who happened to call.  I began to explain to her what I was seeing in my family as a result of this loss, and she reasoned that maybe, just maybe, this puppy was created by God for this exact and particular reason.  What an incredible thought!  What an amazing gift!  What an awesome God who gives such beauty for ashes!

In all the losses of life...the heart crushing huge ones and the tearless tiny ones...if you will open your broken heart to a big God, He will open your eyes to His benevolent blessings.  SEE