Kate: A Case Study in the Needs of Children
Posted by Candace
A year and a half ago we brought home a two and a half year old little girl from China. This girl was quiet and smart. She would babble a bit in Chinese, sometimes singing a song or two, but for the most part she just watched life go on around her. You could almost see the wheels turning inside her head. She was taking life in, but something stopped her from jumping into life.
Fast forward to today... this girl is full force, full on LIVING. She runs EVERYWHERE. She rarely stops talking. She can crawl up into a strangers lap and have them wrapped around her finger in less than two minutes. She asks questions and makes statements that are literally astounding sometimes. She laughs often, loves deeply, and lives fully.
What changed? Well, yes, she lived in an orphanage for two and a half years and yes, I am sure that largely contributed to the way she was when we brought her home. I, however, often wonder if Kate would be the Kate we have at home if she were still with her biological parents. There is much to be said for DNA in personality development, but I think there is more to it than that. I know now, as an adult, that there were many factors that kept me from ever blossoming fully as a child. Three things stand out when I consider the way that I have parented and how it has allowed my children to fully develop their personality. Don't get me wrong... I'm no expert. I will not be writing parenting books any time soon. However, I think I have stumbled upon three things that I have mostly done right for my kids.
No, I can't imagine that Kate would be the same little girl back in China, even if her parents could have raised her. I saw nothing in China that gave indication these three things are priorities in parenting there. But as I look back over my list, I realize that I, myself, daily receive every one of these things from my Father in heaven...that these are parenting strategies that He uses with this child over here...and there's no better recommendation than that.
Fast forward to today... this girl is full force, full on LIVING. She runs EVERYWHERE. She rarely stops talking. She can crawl up into a strangers lap and have them wrapped around her finger in less than two minutes. She asks questions and makes statements that are literally astounding sometimes. She laughs often, loves deeply, and lives fully.
What changed? Well, yes, she lived in an orphanage for two and a half years and yes, I am sure that largely contributed to the way she was when we brought her home. I, however, often wonder if Kate would be the Kate we have at home if she were still with her biological parents. There is much to be said for DNA in personality development, but I think there is more to it than that. I know now, as an adult, that there were many factors that kept me from ever blossoming fully as a child. Three things stand out when I consider the way that I have parented and how it has allowed my children to fully develop their personality. Don't get me wrong... I'm no expert. I will not be writing parenting books any time soon. However, I think I have stumbled upon three things that I have mostly done right for my kids.
No, I can't imagine that Kate would be the same little girl back in China, even if her parents could have raised her. I saw nothing in China that gave indication these three things are priorities in parenting there. But as I look back over my list, I realize that I, myself, daily receive every one of these things from my Father in heaven...that these are parenting strategies that He uses with this child over here...and there's no better recommendation than that.
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