God's Incredible Love
Posted by Candace
Yesterday was one of the best days of my life. I am so glad and thankful to Jesus for getting me here to see it and sustaining me through this journey. I would have regretted not coming here..not seeing my daughters homeland..listening to their language...getting to know their culture. Praise be to my Lord for the miracle He has done!
I started the "gotcha" day as a ball of nerves. It actually felt worse than my wedding day. David and I ate breakfast and then took a swim in the chilly pool. When it was finally time to leave, I wasn't sure if my legs would get me there, but they did.
We rode in the van to this little building about 20 minutes away. We entered and went up to the 8th floor which is where the "Gotcha Room" is. When we entered the room was completely full of new parents...some receiving their children and some waiting to receive their children. It was what David fondly calls 'controlled chaos". Screaming was the prevailing sound in the room, as several of the children were pulled away from the only caregivers they had ever known and put into the arms of their forever families. My nerves escalated. What were we doing? Would Kate be one of the silent ones or one of the grieving ones? We had only minutes to wait.
The other 2 families that we were with were called over first, so David and I offered to video and to take pics of their first moments. We were crammed into this crowd of families receiving children trying to get phots and video of the right people...it was quite interesting. Ten minutes after everyone with us had received their children we still had not spotted Kate. David thought he saw her several times and about gave me a heart attack. Our guide came over and told us that Kate's nanny was stuck in traffic so they would be there shortly. My first thought was that this whole process had been completely in God's timing so we would be patient and wait. Not that we had a choice, but waiting was the last thing that I wanted to do at the moment.
Soon they were gesturing wildly for us to come. She was here! That moment is kinda a blur, but the thing that I will always remember is a woman turning towards us with Kate in her arms. At first I didn't recognize my daughter though they were telling me she was ours, so I took a second look into those big eyes and suddenly I knew it was her. Not just in my mind...my heart connected to her and I knew she was meant to be ours...from the beginning of time.
Kate was very distraught about being seperated from her nanny. She obviously loved her very much and was confused and scared to death. She cried and screamed and I was hit with the first of many "mommy is helpless" moments. It didn't matter how much I loved her, I could not make this better or easier for her. We held her and kissed her and loved on her, but she didn't calm down until we left the building and only then because she had worn herself down.
There is so much more to write about like the fact that Kate is already a daddy's girl and that she has warmed up to us and bonded with us remarkable quickly and sometimes will not let anyone else hold her and the fact that we are worried for both of us to leave any room at the same time for fear she will think she has been abandoned again and how as I watch right now, David is loving her to sleep and she has her hand up on his shoulder so she will know he's there even after she closes her eyes. So much to tell, but I am exhausted and I want to leave you with this.
This morning in the shower God hit me with a dose of his glory. He said the same way that I love Kate is the same way He loves me and more besides. The same way I watched her sweet face throughout the night enjoying my treasure, is the same way He watches me, enjoying me. "Why? Why God? What have I done to make you love me?" I ask. "Kate could ask you the same thing." He replies. Love is freely given, not earned. It must only be believed, accepted, and trusted. Wow! "Didn't I tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?" He reminds.
I started the "gotcha" day as a ball of nerves. It actually felt worse than my wedding day. David and I ate breakfast and then took a swim in the chilly pool. When it was finally time to leave, I wasn't sure if my legs would get me there, but they did.
We rode in the van to this little building about 20 minutes away. We entered and went up to the 8th floor which is where the "Gotcha Room" is. When we entered the room was completely full of new parents...some receiving their children and some waiting to receive their children. It was what David fondly calls 'controlled chaos". Screaming was the prevailing sound in the room, as several of the children were pulled away from the only caregivers they had ever known and put into the arms of their forever families. My nerves escalated. What were we doing? Would Kate be one of the silent ones or one of the grieving ones? We had only minutes to wait.
The other 2 families that we were with were called over first, so David and I offered to video and to take pics of their first moments. We were crammed into this crowd of families receiving children trying to get phots and video of the right people...it was quite interesting. Ten minutes after everyone with us had received their children we still had not spotted Kate. David thought he saw her several times and about gave me a heart attack. Our guide came over and told us that Kate's nanny was stuck in traffic so they would be there shortly. My first thought was that this whole process had been completely in God's timing so we would be patient and wait. Not that we had a choice, but waiting was the last thing that I wanted to do at the moment.
Soon they were gesturing wildly for us to come. She was here! That moment is kinda a blur, but the thing that I will always remember is a woman turning towards us with Kate in her arms. At first I didn't recognize my daughter though they were telling me she was ours, so I took a second look into those big eyes and suddenly I knew it was her. Not just in my mind...my heart connected to her and I knew she was meant to be ours...from the beginning of time.
Kate was very distraught about being seperated from her nanny. She obviously loved her very much and was confused and scared to death. She cried and screamed and I was hit with the first of many "mommy is helpless" moments. It didn't matter how much I loved her, I could not make this better or easier for her. We held her and kissed her and loved on her, but she didn't calm down until we left the building and only then because she had worn herself down.
There is so much more to write about like the fact that Kate is already a daddy's girl and that she has warmed up to us and bonded with us remarkable quickly and sometimes will not let anyone else hold her and the fact that we are worried for both of us to leave any room at the same time for fear she will think she has been abandoned again and how as I watch right now, David is loving her to sleep and she has her hand up on his shoulder so she will know he's there even after she closes her eyes. So much to tell, but I am exhausted and I want to leave you with this.
This morning in the shower God hit me with a dose of his glory. He said the same way that I love Kate is the same way He loves me and more besides. The same way I watched her sweet face throughout the night enjoying my treasure, is the same way He watches me, enjoying me. "Why? Why God? What have I done to make you love me?" I ask. "Kate could ask you the same thing." He replies. Love is freely given, not earned. It must only be believed, accepted, and trusted. Wow! "Didn't I tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?" He reminds.
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