Season of Celebration!

Season of Celebration!

Posted by Candace

The holidays have arrived! Seems they come quicker every year, and this year I just don't feel prepared. I'm so tired of going through the motions...of trying to live up to the hype. Don't get me wrong, I love Thanksgiving... I love Christmas... I love all the things that come along with them. What I don't love is the distraction and expectation. I haven't felt that great lately...haven't really felt like bringing out the mistletoe or decking the halls or planning to attend 15 Christmas events. I haven't felt any particular holiday cheer or been in the mood to play carols or anything holly jolly like that, I don't know why. But because at this time of year there is an expectation for everyone to be "merry and bright", I have felt almost wrong in not at least putting on the face of "Christmas spirit". "What is wrong with you?" I ask myself continually and really have begun to worry. But today I remembered... all this stuff is just fluff. Sometimes we enjoy the fluff, but it isn't necessary for the celebration. The real joy is in the reason that we celebrate. Are we celebrating because we get to do all kinds of Christmasy things and feel warm fuzzies, or is it because a Savior was born 2000 years ago bringing grace to a world desperately needing it?

Let's say it's your birthday and every year on your birthday you throw the most fabulous party for anyone who wants to come. And let's say that, at first, only the people closest to you attend, and they give you gifts and sing you songs and make you feel like the most loved person on earth. As the years go on, people who don't even know you hear about your parties and they start coming cause there is free food and cake and lots of party spirit. They enjoy all you have to offer, but they could care less if you are there or not. After a couple of years of just attending, the people who don't know you begin to come up with new ways to make the party better and more fun. They start to add games and decorations and songs that even your closest friends enjoy. As the years pass, a good many people forget it is even your birthday. Some of the people grumble and complain that an event as great as this shouldn't even be about you. Even some of your closest friends are so distracted with all the activity and stuff, that besides a quick glance every now and then, they overlook you. It is rare that you even hear "Happy Birthday" any more, let alone "Thank you for such a wonderful party" or "Gosh, we love you so much".

I really think that God has allowed me to feel "normal" during this year's season, so that I can get back to what this is really all about. I think He is looking for some people who will breath through this time of celebration and enjoy Him most. People who will allow Him to bless them with little random gifts of love, instead of struggling to keep up with expectations. People who will rest...yes, I dare say "rest"...as they keep their focus on Him and celebrating who He is.

As I was driving along this morning, the thought that brought holiday joy to my heart was "Jesus, you're my favorite!" Christmas is a celebration of a Savior that came when we needed saving. A Savior that still offers His grace and His friendship to anyone willing to lay down all the other stuff and say "Yes" to Him. Nothing is wrong with the celebration! But the celebration, itself, is not what brings the true joy. We seek and seek that joy in all the hype and when it's all over, we feel let down. We go about the year thinking "Next year we will do it bigger and better" or even "Next year we will do it smaller and simpler". We have missed the entire point when we "do", instead of "be". Be a Christ follower this season. Rest, give, love, and celebrate with a heart focused on the enormity of what happened one night long ago. "Glory to God in the highest... and on earth, PEACE, goodwill toward men. A Savior has been born to you this day...Emmanuel, Christ the Lord."

Meet Katherine Hope Roberts...

Meet Katherine Hope Roberts...

Posted by Candace

Very long awaited and still waiting for her parents to come get her...but here she is in all her glory :). Kate will be 2 years old on Dec. 2nd. She is completely healthy and from what we can tell only has some small orthopedic issues. She is waiting for us in an orphanage in Guangdong, China. We are PREAPPROVED TO ADOPT HER.

I can't tell you how excited we are and were to meet her! We got the call on November 7th, but we had to wait to share her with you all until we had preapproval from China. She is absolutely perfect in our eyes and we can't wait to bring her home. We now have to wait for our Letter of Acceptance which could take anywhere from 2-3 months, then we will have to be issued a date with the US embassy in China and also travel approval, so it will be at least March before we are able to go get her. Lots more difficult waiting, but at least now we know exactly what we are waiting for!

I know you all will be so thrilled along with us. Many people have already told us that we are doing wonderful thing by rescuing this little girl from a abandonment. Kate will, without a doubt, be unfathomably treasured by our family and hopefully one day by our society, but she will also deal with a great amount of grief in the process. This little girl was left on the steps of a government building as an infant by her parents because, for whatever reason, they could not keep her. We will probably never meet these people or be able to thank them for such an amazing gift and neither will she. She will never know the woman who carried her for 9 months and chose to give her life. She will wonder, even though we will teach her of God's plan from the beginning for her to be our daughter, what her parents look like, sound like, and why they left her. How could a little girl not? Even though she has been raised in an orphanage and we all know how much better off she will be here, she will not come to this brand new place thanking us for saving her... she will grieve! We are tearing her away from her caregivers, from the only home she has ever known, from her country and culture and language... and yes, we do it for her own good, but she will not realize that for many years. She may also continually question her permanancy in our home. My heart breaks for her even now, because our love alone will not fill the void in her little heart. It will take time and a great big God to help us all adjust. And we are so incredibly thankful that we will have both when Kate finally comes home forever.

God's perfect plan is for children to be raised, loved, and cherished by their birth parents. When that doesn't happen in this imperfect world, He has made a way. He's really good at making a way. Adoption is a perfect picture of our relationship with our God. Picking us up, just because... cleaning us up, caring for us, and giving us a forever home. He protects us and loves us, in spite of our inability to be grateful enough or to earn it. We are blown away by this opportunity to follow in His footsteps.

Please continue to pray for us and for our sweet Katherine Hope gift! How GREAT is our GOD!!

God sees.

God sees.

Posted by Candace

So I thought my next post would be one introducing Katherine Hope to you, but a few delays later I am writing just because the knots must come out some way. The matching list that was supposed to come out on the 20th was delayed until Nov. 1st. which was last night in China. Alas, it still has not come out, we have not been matched yet, and so goes what I am told is normal in the adoption process. There are no guarantees. There are no adoption C-sections. The entire process must have its way and there isn't anything we can do to change that.

Needless to say, I have spent the last 3 days vascillating between excitement and anxiety. David, too, has felt the pressure of waiting. At random moments we find ourselves looking at each other and asking "Are you ready?" As if that will hurry things up. Waiting is hard! If you have ever experienced waiting for a child to come into your world, the difficulty of patience is tripled. In both my pregnancies the last week before labor was the most difficult. Not knowing when the contractions would begin, but knowing it could be any moment... I feel that exact way right now. That feeling of just enough weariness to make you want to cry, but just enough hope to keep the tears from coming.

I had to call our case worker this morning, so I could at least move on with the day and think of something else. Emily is so gracious to us and understands every bit of this having gone through it twice herself. She says that she doesn't know what is going on with the list... she is going to call some people a little bit later in the day and find out. My temptation is to doubt, to worry, to be discouraged, but I kinda got an email from God this morning. Strange thing to say, I know, but let me explain. David and I waited up last night for news and disappointment sank in when we went to bed without any. We checked our phones a couple of times during the night and still nothing. I have an app on my phone that gives me a random daily Bible verse. It changes to a new one at midnight and alerts me. I didn't look at it last night because I was so focused on whether I had gotten a phone call or an email, but this morning when I looked at it, the verse jumped out at me. "For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry 'Abba, Father!'" Romans 8:15. What??? There are only a few verses in the entire Bible that have the word "adoption" in them. Speechless!

God sees... He sees us here waiting breathlessly for our daughter. He sees my dear friend who just found out she has a mass in her breast as she waits for news about her health. He sees my loved one who has been devastated by her spouse as she waits to see what will play out in her marriage. He sees my husband who is wading through company changes as he waits for others to make decisions that he has no control over. And He sees you...wherever you are, whatever you are waiting for, God sees you. And He waits too... He waits for you to care, He waits for you to believe, He waits for you to follow... He is waiting every day for sons and daughters. I have no words to describe a God such as this. A God who would message me this morning just to say "I see you."

So we may meet our daughter today... or we may meet her next month. Waiting is still hard, but He is here... He's right here beside us...and because I know and believe that, I can face the moments, the hours, the days of waiting.

For Better or For Worse...

For Better or For Worse...

Posted by Candace

Talked to our case worker this morning and the referral list that was supposed to come out this week, actually may be coming out next week. Evidently the agency in China that handles the list had a week off last week so that may have delayed it a little. So, you guessed it...more waiting.


Tremendously heavy hearted for marriages lately. In fact, so burdened that this has got to come out of me even though it is always a risky subject. I know of so many marriages that are struggling right now, so many people tempted to walk away, others walking. The enemy would like nothing more then to divide husbands and wives. He is fighting with all he has right now against the very institution that God uses to create life.

I would like to start out by saying that sometimes a relationship cannot be saved. The Bible gives a exception for divorce in Matthew 19:4-9 when Jesus says that Moses permitted the Isrealites to divorce and remarry in cases of adultery. Our God knows that the issue of trust is HUGE in a relationship. There are also many instances in our culture where physical and mental abuse are taking place and the best thing for all parties is a seperation or divorce. The Bible doesn't directly speak to this, but the tone of the Bible is nontolerance of abuse of this kind...especially in the case of children. We are the protectors of our children and sometimes we must remove them from situations. So I just wanted to importantly note those exceptions before I make my case for marriage :).

That being said, I would like to point out something specific that Jesus also says in this passage (Matthew 19: 4-9), because we like to skip over it. We like to skip over it, because it makes us very uncomfortable and quite frankly, it convicts.
"'Haven't you read', he replied, 'that He who created them in the beginning made them male and female,' and He also said: 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh?' 'Why then,' they asked Him, 'did Moses command us to give divorce papers and to send her away?' He answered them 'Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts. But it was not like that from the beginning. And I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.'"
Yes, Jesus just said that if someone gets divorced, except in cases of adultery, and marries another, they are actually committing the sin of adultery. Why would He say such a thing? If you look at the two intro verses, you will see why. The weight He gives marriage is incredible. Two people become one person. This isn't just a physical reference. It is a spiritual one. Our hearts join and to seperate them leaves each person with half a heart. We like to call it "baggage" in society today. He goes a step further in Mark 10:11
"'Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. Also, if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."

What if every Christian really believed the Bible and lived by it? What if when we were choosing our life partner we felt the gravity of "Til death do us part"? What if we didn't give ourselves an "out"? What if we never thought "I could do so much better than this" without our next thought being "but I would be sinning just as much as if I were cheating on my spouse right now"? If remarrying while a faithful ex-spouse is still living is adultery (Jesus said it, not me), then getting divorced means being alone for the rest of your life, or sinning against God. If the choice were to be married to your spouse or to be alone, wouldn't that put a whole different perspective on things than what we all think the choice is today...to be married or to be "single and looking"? I think that is exactly what Jesus was trying to do. Note to remarried people: I am definitely not trying to bring condemnation here. Adultery (which comes in all kinds of forms) is an exception to all of this and ultimately this is between you and God. I am very sensitive to this Scripture as David and I both have remarried parents who we love very much. I am simply making a point about how strongly God feels about the institute of marriage and how much our culture has watered it down. If you are remarried, this applies to your current marriage, just as much as the first one.

When David and I got married, we agreed that divorce was NOT an option. We were either going to be really miserable together or we were going to work on our marriage and make it the best that we could. We felt strongly about this as we both believe in the blessings of faithfulness to God and we both had seen firsthand the havoc divorce can wreak. Honestly, for the first 8 years, I was mostly miserable. David and I are complete opposites. I am not making that up... we have the personality tests to prove it. Not only did we have that working against us, but we both come from broken homes. To make matters worse, I have always been a little bit...okay, a lot oversensitive, and David has, ummm....let's just say.... lacked communication skills when it comes to sensitivity. So I was one huge ball of hurt feelings for many years. There are two times that I can think of that things got so bad that the "D" word crossed my mind. Both times, I spent hours wrestling with God about the unfairness of what He had chosen for me. Both times, I wanted out so bad I could taste it. Both times, I tried to rationalize it as being the best thing for everybody. Both times, freedom seemed to be escape. And both times, God reached down in His faithfulness, clarified that true freedom is found in obedience, and gave me the strength to move forward in my marriage. He knows your heart. He will put up the roadblocks when He knows you need them. You might roll right over those roadblocks, but they are there...his loving Hand saying "Wait it out. Keep praying. Don't give up on your spouse. Hope!" Personally I have seen God not only transform David through the toughest times in my marriage, but transform me the most. It wasn't overnight, but He always gave the strength and hope to continue the journey. We still fight it out sometimes, but we have grown leaps and bounds, and our marriage is strong today. David is my absolute best friend and I will fight for this precious relationship.

You may not want that strength and hope. You may be purposely not praying because you are afraid that God might speak and tell you to stay and work and fight for your marriage. Ultimately you may believe a good bit more in your happiness than your holiness... but friend, happiness is fleeting and temporary...holiness is eternal. Your God loves you enough to want what is best for you, not what is easiest. His grace is enough, for His strength is made perfect in weakness.

My biggest hope for my marriage is the stability it brings to a family. As a product of divorce, I can speak to its long term effects on a child, as I'm sure could a good many of you. God's grace is always present in the aftermath, but the pain can be overwhelming at times. I still, to this day, wish my parents would have stayed together. I don't know that I will ever stop wondering what life would be like if they had. Maybe it would be really bad, but not if they both had agreed to work on it. I know many people who have gotten past the high school graduation of their kids and felt that they have "made it" to the end of their marriage and now their kids will be "okay" with parents that live in two different locations. I graduated about a year after my parents divorced, but I still have a longing to have had a childhood and adulthood filled with my parents together. I still long to have stalwart examples for David and myself. Yes, I have moved on...but I still have a void that comes out at 50th wedding anniversaries or commercials about happy families or fights with David that I know are outworkings of divorce damage.

So if you are struggling with this at all, I ask you to bring the matter before the throne. Struggle with God about it. You don't have to agree with Him, but I ask you to at least have the fight with Him. He can put it into perspective. He can give courses of action. He can help you courageously pray and wait. And I can tell you that in the end, there is NOTHING more fulfilling than knowing that you did the right thing and God was pleased with it and honored it. Don't rush to make yourself happy...Wait, and let God make you holy.

PS. Our pastor begins a new series about marriage at The Orchard (off of Hwy 81) on Sunday, October 30th. You should come :).

Reputation vs. Character

Reputation vs. Character

Posted by Candace

I need to write. I have a blog. Just for those of you wondering why this post will not contain any new adoption news. I have none. We are waiting. And just when we think we are done waiting...more waiting :).

No, I need to write about something else. To get my thoughts out on paper and watch them become cohesive...maybe. I need to write about reputation, and something bigger and more encompassing than reputation...character.

I came across a post on Facebook the other day that characterized the two as follows. "Character is who a person really is, Reputation is just what others think he is." As I began to think on this, I realized that most of us value our reputation over our character...at least I have, up until now. It took me a little bit to admit it. I wanted to think that developing my character meant more to me then working on my reputation, until someone brought up something that happened last year that I was less than proud of. Truth be told, this incident had worked together for good to develop my character, but when it was mentioned by someone who I had no idea even knew about it, I felt concerned for my reputation. I wanted to clear myself, set the record straight, make sure the person knew that I was just as great as they had thought that I was...but deep down I knew that I had simply needed a lesson in character and God had given it to me. I felt God's loving voice say, "Candace, would you have saved your reputation at the expense of your character?" And this is the real me, "Why yes, God, I would have. I would have spared myself any embarrassment at all costs." Thank God that He doesn't spare us embarrassment at times! Thank God that He doesn't let us stew in our issues unaware! Thank God that He cares much more about character than our reputation.

This was my first clue that my reputation has become an idol in my life...that my people pleasing behavior is sin...that I fear man more than I fear God. Not that reputation is a bad thing. We should maintain a good reputation with most people, but that reputation should be an outworking of true character... not protected at all costs so that we can get warm fuzzies about what society thinks and says about us. I was reminded again today as it became necessary for someone to address certain failings of mine. I found throughout the conversation that my main concern was not to correct the failings, but instead to make sure that I came out looking perfect. Because God had already pointed to this reputation issue in my life, I was able to handle this situation with a much better perspective than usual. But it still cut deep that someone might think something about me that was probably completely true, but I didn't want them to think. And as I was stewing about it afterwards and wondering why in world this stuff gets to me so much, I was asked... "Are you more concerned with your reputation or your character?" And because God knows the answer, He followed up with.. "Are you willing to hurt to change it?"

When I stand before the throne one day, it will not matter one bit what anyone thought I was. I won't be able to call witnesses to the stand or obtain reference letters. It wouldn't matter anyway, because the Lord looks directly into our hearts. Every day that we live, He sees the thoughts and the intents that we harbor, whether knowingly or unknowingly. He puts opportunities in front of us to change that sometimes feel like a curse, because He knows our potential. He knows what He created us to be. He knows how much better our life is when He is our Master. We can create a pretty good reputation... whenever, with whoever...if we try hard enough, but He alone can develop character. No, my reputation will not stand before the judgment seat, my character will.

Jesus never taught a "fake it til you make it" mentality. His disciples came to Him rough around the edges, real, full of themselves, concerned about getting their fair share... but after their time with Him, through many rough patches that developed their character, they became devoted witnesses who gave even their lives for His kingdom. When we read the New Testament, we see how little Jesus' reputation meant to Him and after a while how His disciples followed suit.

I think this will be one of the most challenging journeys that I begin in my walk with Christ. I could share ten reasons why, but I'd like to end this post with anyone reading it still awake. Suffice it to say that since I was a very small girl I have built my world around what everyone else thinks I am. Hard thing to admit, but true nonetheless. I have held my identity out to anyone and everyone, hoping that they would tell me who I am. Some people unknowingly launched me skyward, some people naively crushed me under their feet, others simply carried me, but none of them knew me like the One who created me. He is the One who tells me who I am. He is the One worth believing. His Words are the ones truly safe to build my world around. The other safe, comfortable, but equally false world of relying on reputation has to come down, and though I am frightened to see what happens when it does, come down it will. The words that will soon grace Kate's wall bring hope... "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly."

October 4th! Somebody Write it Down!

October 4th! Somebody Write it Down!

Posted by Candace

Gosh, I never cease to be amazed at God. He is ever so faithful and always comes through. I rarely even question it any more, because He just shows up at the right time.

About two weeks ago, I received a call from our adoption agency informing me that we were missing a Dr. explanation letter for David's recent back surgery. As rushed as I was to get this letter to our completed dossier, I was delayed by the fact that we had booked a cruise over fall break and would be gone for 5 days. I requested that the letter be mailed to me while we were on that trip and left thinking I would mail it right to the adoption agency when I got back.

The cruise is a whole nother post in itself, but needless to say it was quite torturous. It started with the fact that most of the ship stayed up to all hours of the morning "Party Hardying" right outside our door. After the second night of less then 2 hours of sleep, I was ready to get off, but as you know, on a cruise you are stuck, whether you like it or not. That fact made me feel very "trapped" and it was all I could do not to beg David to get us a flight out of Jamaica :). The days at sea were filled just trying to avoid all the inappropriateness going on and find some family friendly activities...most days we just resigned ourselves to the cabin. The stop that I got off at, Jamaica, turned out to be quite a tourist trap and after be "conned" out of all of the cash we brought off board, we were anxious to get back on the ship for another sleepless night. We did enjoy getting to experience the dolphins and the wild life at Dolphin Cove, but other then that, it was craziness. I didn't even get to get off the boat at the Caymans because I had not slept AT ALL the night before and I was completely exhausted. David and the boys went to see the stingrays and the turtles while I took a Benadryl and tried to catch some "zzzz's" while the party people were enjoying the island. Of course, when my family returned they were quick to inform me that the Cayman stop was the best of the whole trip. Hmmmm.... I was soooo happy when our feet were finally back in the US... and I am a little bit less of a travel person than ever. Home, sweet home is alright with me. I did think that it was very ironic that the name of our ship was the "Destiny". I have a feeling that we are about to step right into ours :)!

After this experience, we decided that it is probably best for David to make the trip to China on his own. As much as I hate to miss it and not be there, I would just end up making it more difficult in the long run. I am not a good traveler and am not good for long periods of time away from home and in large crowds, etc, etc. All of which is required for this trip. The flights we have checked on are upwards of $1700 and so taking the whole family is pretty much out, and since I am very sure I would be nervous wreck on the other side of the world without my children, it just seems the best plan for David to go himself. I am actually excited for him to be able to be a full time dad for two weeks and bond with our little girl. I know that if I did go, he would end up letting me do everything and I think the bonding that will take place while he takes care of her on his own with be incredible. They will get off to an amazing start.

So we got home from the cruise last Thursday and the first thing I did was check the mail... no letter. So the next day I called the Dr. office and picked it up. Then I mailed it regular mail to the adoption agency. I guess God then decided that we needed a little drama, because our coordinator called and said that China was changing some of their procedures and if the letter did not arrive by today, we would have to complete 3 more docs which would cause another delay. So once again we prayed, knowing that ultimately the timing belongs to God... And 20 minutes ago I received a call from the agency assuring us that all is well and our packet was mailed on time. So TODAY, the paperwork that consumed us for 6 months is on its way overseas...next stop China!!! This means that we should be on the referral list for October which should come out in a couple of weeks. We are almost there!

Thank you so much for your prayers and for your support. Please continue to pray that God will be very present in this journey and that everything will go according to His will.

Little Pieces of Heaven

Little Pieces of Heaven

Posted by Candace

Documents are now on their way to China!!! Well, sorta... I sent them off to the adoption agency on Tuesday. They should arrive tomorrow and then they will be sent off for translation and then off to the Chinese government. Our case worker thinks that we will have our referral somewhere around September 20th!!!! The referral will include a picture of our child and her background information. I really am having a hard time waiting to meet her. Emily (our case worker) says that these days are a piece of cake compared to the waiting that takes place after we have laid eyes on our real life child stuck all the way across the world in China until we get approval to travel. Yep, I can see that.

This week has been tough. I can't quite put my finger on why, but I think it has something to do with our return from Family Camp. Family Camp at Sharptop Cove is a little piece of heaven. We are so thankful to Dad and Liz for this gift that they give us every year. The opportunity to leave the world of technology and spend quality time with family in a place of beauty is completely amazing...but add to that the focused time with God and the spirit of Jesus that surrounds this incredible ministry and it is a bit more than just a vacation. Every year my spirit drops when it is time to leave. I mean, who wants to leave heaven? Who wants to go home and cook their own meals...lol? Not me! So coming home to "normal" was a bit hard for me this year. I had to jump right in to school craziness, event planning for an event that I am responsible for in just 10 days, and bookkeeping work. It just hit me in the face and overwhelmed me. As I was crying myself to sleep last night, the voice of our Saviour whispered sweetly in my ear and calmed my frustrations. He is always so sweet and gracious when we need Him the most and yesterday was one of those days.

So tonight I sit here reflecting on the little glimpses of heaven that we get here on earth. Things like babies being born, the first cool fall breeze, kisses from someone in love with us, happy times with family and friends, and the moments when we know that we know Jesus, Himself, is holding us...little pieces of an eternal future. This is just our temporary residence. One day we will not have to struggle and keep up and cling to the merry-go-round of life. We will be free and we will be at rest in a place of purity and joy everlasting. Definitely something to look forward to! But until then, I will happily anticipate holding our daughter in my arms for the first time...totally believe that will be heaven on earth :).

I love You, Jesus!

The Country Blonde Goes to Atlanta

The Country Blonde Goes to Atlanta

Posted by Candace

They say that if it can go wrong, it will. I must be a secret optimist, because I am rarely prepared for anything to go wrong. And if it does, I am always convinced it can be fixed at the last minute. Hopefully, for my own sake, I am right.
Last week we received our approval from the US immigration office to proceed with our adoption. After six weeks of waiting, I was more then ready to proceed. So after 2 days of visiting what seemed like every courthouse and police department known to man, I had my documents ready for the State authentication. This is done at the Secretary of State's election division in the middle of downtown Atlanta.
Normally I would wait for a day that David could go with me, because not only am I a complete blonde when it comes to navigating Atlanta's one way streets, but I am too small to fight off any "would be" attackers and too nice to not give my life savings away to the tragic amount of homeless people. But when I am ready to get something completed, it is hard to talk myself out of it. So off I went this morning to lessen the days that my child will wait for her family.
All was well until I got off at the Hill St. exit. It suddenly occurred to me (somehow it hadn't before... I don't really think things out all that well sometimes) that I would need to park my car somewhere where it wouldn't get towed in downtown. Easier said then done... especially on a Monday at lunch time. Panic welled up in my chest as I found myself on one street after another trying not to get hit, not to hit anyone, not to go down a one way street, and to find a public parking lot that wasn't a mile from the Capitol or in the shady part of an alley. I finally decided on one off of Pryor street...hey, at least I could see the Capitol from there. I got out and started walking toward what I thought was my destination. Six blocks and 10 street crossings later, I was covered in sweat and walking up the steps of the Capitol building. A kind security officer informed me that my journey was not yet over because the building that I needed was further down the street. Hmmm...all I can say is never pray that God will start giving you opportunity to get your exercise in throughout the day...He don't play!
I finally arrived at the Floyd West Tower and ventured up to the 8th floor where the office I needed was located. The first thing that the lady that helped me said was that there was a problem with the birth certificate that I was providing for David and that I would have to visit the Vital Records office in Decatur for another one. I almost laughed. Instead I prayed...."God, if there is any way that You can get me out of going to Decatur today, please, please do it!" Well, the answer was a big fat "no" :). I guess I needed more exercise. So I got 15 of my docs authenticated and then headed back to my car six blocks away.
Now I will say a complete miracle happened today...if you know anything about me and anywhere in Atlanta, you will know that for me not to get fully and completely lost, is pretty much a miracle, especially since I had to find I-85 N to get to Decatur. I won't tell you how many times I turned around or went down the wrong street, but finally I was on the right interstate and eventually in Decatur.
The vital records office in Decatur is actually hidden within an apartment complex, which was completely confusing, but nonetheless I found it and walked in...to a waiting room of people no less. I was given a form to fill out and told that I need cash to pay for it. The only method of payment that I was not prepared for. I took the form and told the lady that I would be right back. She didn't seem to care if I was or not. I drove up to a gas station and went ahead and filled my tank so there was no chance that I would get stranded in Atlanta (that "58 miles left" goes quick when you have to renavigate streets). Then I went in to use the ATM..."out of service"...of course it was. As I exited to find another gas station, I spotted a Quick trip right up the street... it almost looked like the pearly gates at that particular moment, what a great gas station QT is! I finally got the money I needed and drove back to the vital records office. Within about 20 minutes, I had the birth certificate and was on my way back to Atlanta.
Now I completely know what Paul was talking about when he said to be "constant in prayer". And as I got off on the right exit and entered the right parking garage, I thought that God must be finally saying "yes". I changed my mind when it took me just as long to find my way out of the parking garage and across the street to the Floyd West building, as it did when I parked on Pryor St. I was starting to feel the exhaustion as I entered the 8th floor office again, but thankfully within 5 minutes, the form was authenticated and I was on my way home. Or so I thought... I found a short cut from the building into the wrong parking garage. Then it took me 15 minutes to realize I was in the wrong parking garage. And remember all this is going on in 100 degree heat. Finally I find the right parking garage, but I can't find my car. I am literally wandering through this parking garage wondering if I will ever see my family again. The only way I finally did find my car was to go back down to the entrance and follow the arrows on the concrete until I spotted it. Whew! Ordeal over! NOT! How blonde can I possibly be? I didn't know until today. I drove around in a few circles and finally found the exit... then I got on the freeway going the wrong way and had to turn around a few times. Somehow eventually I was back in Conyers.
About now this story is getting really long, so you are very welcome to stop reading if you would like. I would actually prefer it. But I find myself needing to get the entire thing out on paper.
So I make my way back into town and decide to go ahead and finish this paperwork stuff and get it out to the consulate. I know I should have had the good sense to go home, but when I start something there is a drive in me to finish it. So I stop at the bank and then by QT to pick up the money orders that I need, then I head to David's office, because I have to make copies of ALL of the documents before I send them off. This was all fairly uneventful besides the fact that it took over an hour, I had to empty the shredder and made a mess (sorry, mom) and the ink in the copier decided to run low. Finally I got them all done and headed over to Office Max to send them off FedEx. As I am walking into Office Max, the FedEx truck is pulling away from the building not to return until tomorrow at 5:30pm. Shouldn't have emptied that shredder, I would have made it...Or not. It took 45 minutes and 3 different employees to try to figure out how to send a prepaid return envelope with my docs and even then noone came up with an answer. I finally told them to just ship the packages and I would figure out how to get them back to me later...once again last minute optimism.
I am in my car, finally headed home when I remember as I pass Kroger that tomorrow is Nathan's birthday and I need to send treats to school. The dreaded grocery store was a must visit. I chuckled out loud as I started pushing my cart... there was something wrong with the wheels and it was probably the loudest one in existence. Fortunately for me, I could care less... I grabbed my items and headed for the checkout... the only one with an old man arguing about his Kroger card balance.
No, I certainly did not catch many breaks today. But as I sit here, finally home, with documents on their way to the consulates in Houston and on track to know who my daughter is in less then a month from now, I cannot help but laugh inside and be very thankful for the adventure of life. I am completely exhuasted, but this country girl made it home safe and sound in time to updater her blog :). Night, everyone!

5 Days that Changed My Life Forever

5 Days that Changed My Life Forever

Posted by Candace

Gosh, I really don't even know where to start on this post. I know many of you will have a hard time believing my loss for words :). This morning I watched the sun rise and thought of how a good many of us have lost all dreams, all imagination, all creativity, but God renews His every single morning. The same sun rises and sets, but do you ever see the same sunrise or the same sunset? I am amazed at His new mercies every morning... not old mercy refurbished...brand new mercy! He never runs out... just as He never runs out of ideas, or melodies, or truths, or love. Unfathomable!!

This past weekend was one of the best of my life...the best of my relationship with God. I attended a 5 day worship intensive led by Aaron Keyes and his wife, Megan. Aaron is the worship leader at Grace Fellowship Church in Snellville. Not only is he a worship leader, but he is a humble servant of the Lord and an amazing mentor.

Going into this event, I was not expecting much. In fact, my spiritual life had become pretty dry. Between church transitions, busy summertime, hosting and adoption details, and decisions being made about our future livilihood, I found myself preferring to be a zombie in front of the TV, rather than an excited follower of Christ. I really only wanted to know more about music and how to sing it, play it, etc. Instead I received manna from heaven... the food of angels. As one girl with an amazing gift from God put it...I climbed a ladder into heaven and brought back revelation. No, there were no audible voices or hallelujah choruses, but God entirely rocked my world.

There is too much to tell to even put on paper... over and abundantly too much to tell. I still am unsure of what exactly He is calling me to besides being light and peace to the world, but I do know that I have never in my life been so excited about my destiny. On the night before the last day of the conference, I woke up with a Scripture on my heart. It is found in John 14. I felt compelled to go look it up and study it... at 5am in the morning no less. I am not a 5am kind of girl, but I jumped out of bed and headed downstairs to my Strongs Concordance. During this conference, God had been pointing out lies that I had been believing all my life and it was a good amount of stuff. I was able for the first time to examine each of my thoughts according to the truth of God's Word and reject the lies. So my thoughts on this morning began like this... "This isn't normal?" I laughed at this out loud and said "Thank God!" Then I heard "It won't last." To which God pointed me to John 14: 23 "Jesus said 'If a person loves Me, he will keep My Word; and my Father will love him and We will come to him and make Our home with him.'" So my first question to God was "I thought God already loves the whole world? Why does this Scripture say 'if....then'" So I looked up the word love in this context and in the John 3:16 context. In John 3:16, the love there is grace, charity, benevolence... sorta like if you saw a homeless person on the side of the road and gave him some money or food or encouragement. He did nothing to deserve that...he didn't work for you or even like you, but you loved him anyway. The love in John 14:23 is the friendship or social love...like your spouse or your best friend. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks! Those of us who believe in and follow Christ are offered the opportunity to live with God! Not just for a day or 5 days or when we get to heaven, but from the time we start believing until ETERNITY!!! What I am experiencing right now is how God designed it to be all the time! Does that speak to anyone else??

So my next question was (and I wrote all these down that morning as I was trying to work this out) "Why do I not see this around me? even in Christians?" Next verse, John 14:24 "Anyone who does not love Me, does not observe My teaching, and the teaching that you hear from Me is not Mine, but comes from the Father." UGH!!! O-B-E-D-I-E-N-C-E... remember that song? Obedience is the very best way to show what you believe... but not only that, it is the very best way to show the Lord that we love him. When we stand before Him, I don't think "I was too busy" or "I was too distracted" or "I didn't know" are going to work. I know that those excuses don't work for me when I tell my children to do something and they don't do it.

So in this analytical head of mine, I went on to ask "How do I know what to obey?" Duh! Yeah, all of this "world-changing" has not gotten rid of the "blonde" in me, which I find hilarious and endearing!! The B-I-B-L-E, yes, that's the book for me (they had something going on with those old children's songs and everybody groans at now :). We HAVE to be in His Word or we will forget the truth and His voice will fade in our ears. Now I know why every time I reach for my Bible something says "Do that later."

Yes, I have been revolutionized... I feel it, but I also know it. Thank Jesus for His incredible streams of grace, because I did nothing to deserve this awesome change of thinking being poured into my life. As a matter of fact, if He would have done this based on my devotional life, it would have never happened. Quiet time was pretty low on my list of priorities. Now I realize that I can't live without it. I have to come and be refilled so that I can pour out more to others... so that Jesus can be seen instead of Candace. And oh, can I just tell you that life is SOOOO much more worth it when Jesus is seen instead of me. I really don't know how I lived for so long so self consumed. It is so freeing to take my burdens, desires, dreams, longings, etc and put them at the foot of the cross to let God work through me in whatever way He created me. I feel like I have been a drinking glass trying to be a plate. Now I realize and take great pleasure that I am a drinking glass and it feels so much better to have living water poured into me than for me try to stuff myself with food.

Anyway, I had to let some of this come out, so I figured the blog was the best place. I don't know who will read this, but if you are reading it... it is NOT a coincidence. That is a lie! This truth can seep into the soul of anyone who will receive it. We were all created to be vessels... the same playing field, none of us more or less important then anyone else...you (whoever you are) and me are loved the same by Christ!! Oh how He loves you! He longs to make His home with you, but just like in this physical life, He will not come where He is unwelcomed. He must be invited...and then even in the awkward, uncomfortableness of the first visit, He must be welcome. Then as you get to know Him, as the visits prolong, you will find yourself saying "Jesus, why don't we just move in together? I want more of You all the time." And then when you find yourself living with Jesus, you feel the weight of the privilege you have and you don't even have a desire to do anything but cultivate that relationship. It's completely AMAZING!

Last night, I found myself discouraged and depressed, maybe a little bit of coming off the mountain into a valley. Maybe a little bit because God had given me words for a song (I have never written a song before) and I had recorded it onto my iPad and listened to it and thought "My voice is horrible! Why has noone ever told me?" lol... probably another lie. But later as I went to bed, I found tears pouring down my face as I realized that I missed my 20 friends from the worship intensive. I missed them profoundly. I had listened to their stories and embraced. Some of them had spoken into my life. I had never really been mentored before or been in a community setting quite so deep and these people had quickly become brothers and sisters in Christ. I realized that when you open your heart to the Father, every relationship in your life becomes right... and you barely have to try. I have run out of words...

Authentication: My New Job

Authentication: My New Job

Posted by Candace

So we went to our Biometrics appointments today which turned out to be nothing more than digital fingerprinting... such a bummer. I was expecting to be grilled for an hour and then given a lie detector test and a hand writing analysis. Nothing happened more shocking then having to leave my purse in the car. Immigration employees are a bit paranoid, but these days, I guess I would be too. We were finished in less then 30 minutes which may have been more shocking then a hand writing analysis.

I also had a good, long talk with our adoption agency program director and got a good idea of what I will be working on for the next 2 months. Evidently every one of my documents that are gathered for the dossier to China have to be authenticated in the county where the notary that notarized them is registered, then in the state of that county, and then at the US consulate assigned to that state. Sounds relatively simple, right? NOT! I have documents notarized in Cobb, Walton, and Newton counties, plus one in...wait for it...Manasses, Delaware. Plus my birth certificate has to be authenticated in WA state and sent to a different consulate in CA then all of my GA documents which will go to TX. All of this is done through in person visits, mailing, and courier. Well, at least I will have something to do while I am waiting for Immigration to send us our approval. I'm not complaining.

The good news is the program director said that we are on track to get our referral at the beginning of September!!! This is when we find out who our child is. I cannot even tell you how unreal this seems and I think after all this paperwork phase, we will be absolutely thrilled to death to be waiting to travel :)! She reminded me to take pics when I put the final docs in the mail to be sent off to China as it will be quite an accomplishment! I completely agree.

So far, smooth sailing! Keep praying, friends. I know beyond a doubt it is the favor of God. We are very hopeful that we are more then half way there :).

What in the World is Biometrics Anyway?

What in the World is Biometrics Anyway?

Posted by Candace

So we arrived back from West Palm Beach last week to letters that our biometrics appointments have been scheduled for July 19th. This is something that the Department of Immigration does to confirm that you really are who you say you are. It involves things like fingerprints, retinal scans, and sometimes even voice recognition and hand writing recognition. I have never in my life been important enough for the government to spend all this time on me, so I am a little overwhelmed at the thought. I think I might feel like I'm in a Mission Impossible movie when I walk into that office on Tuesday.

After the results of these scans tell our government that we are David and Candace Roberts, we should be receiving our CIS approval that we can add to our China dossier. Then once the docs are certified, they will be sent to China and the paperwork trimester will be over!!! I am soooo excited! Because that means in a few short weeks, we may be actually holding a picture of our little girl!

Yes, I said "girl", singular. After much prayer and consideration, we have decided that it will be a better transition and easier for our family if we do one little girl at a time. We are still open to whatever plan God has for us, but we are moving forward with one child. If God changes that, we will happily comply. In a word, I am relieved! One special needs child is a lot to handle. Two special needs toddlers might have been near impossible. I am so glad that God is so gracious to us, even in our zeal. David and I would love to provide every orphan out there with a home, but practically we need to start with one :). So we are waiting on Katherine Hope and if Sydney Grace happens to be her sister, we know God will work that out too.

I ordered a little girl suitcase with butterflies on a purple background for the trip to China. I am so excited to pack it that I almost started today, but I held myself back. Six months in advance is a little psycho for packing. Plus Jordan is attending his first ever summer camp this weekend and I need to help him pack for that. So I will keep patiently waiting. After all, good things come to those who wait! Waiting has been a theme this year...waiting to find out whether I have a new neice or nephew on the way, waiting to see what church we will end up attending in the future, waiting for decisions to be made at Ascend, waiting for Jordan to officially be in middle school (yes, I can certainly wait for that), and waiting for our little girl to come home! Lots of waiting, but they that wait upon the Lord, they renew their strength, and one day they mount up on wings like eagles. It is in the enduring that we find the hope, because after the promise is fulfilled we have no need of it. Right now, we are just enjoying the hoping, because He who started a good work in us will be faithful to complete it!

Pray for us that we will perservere and have wisdom and endurance for every journey that we are taking right now. We need your prayers. Also, please pray for Stasik and Danyk! We will continually be praying that they will find a permanent home. Thank you for following our journey and for uplifting us in your prayers!

God's Amazing Way

God's Amazing Way

Posted by Candace

Whew... what an incredible week. Yes, a hosting experience that was supposed to last 5 weeks actually packed itself into one. It was completely nothing that we expected, but nonetheless we have been forever changed by it.

Two or three months ago I began receiving emails from our adoption agency advertising the hosting program. Something would prick my heart at these emails, but I would delete them all the same. With as crazy as our life is lately, I was not interested in adding to that. So even though there was an inkling that we should step up to the plate, I did not feel we were in a position to do so. David, on the other hand, had no such qualms. He called me up one day and asked if we could host 2 children from the Ukraine. Despite my hesitation, I agreed. If David gets this serious about something, it is usually a God thing. If he actually does all the work to get it set up and ready to go, we call it a miracle...lol.

One week before the children were to arrive, David called again and asked if we could also host one of the chaperones for a week. I really felt like he might be trying to kill me off for the insurance money, but he had basically already volunteered, so once again I agreed. Although I was excited about the opportunity to serve God in this way, I was also scared to death about how in the world I would keep everything together even for 5 weeks. Nevertheless, the time arrived for us to meet these precious people from the Ukraine.

I will never forget that day at the airport. We waited excitedly to see a group of 29 children as they entered the US. I was even more excited for a couple of host families that we met who were actually in the process of adopting some of the children that were coming. One lady was to meet her 2 girls for the first time. At 14 and 16, these girls were about to be let out of the orphanages in the Ukraine and thrust into the society of sex trade and womanizing among other things. They were absolutely gorgeous and they are fitting in well with this family. In the midst of all of these children were Danyk and Stasik. Two little shy, cute boys who hardly hugged us and talked even less. The older one seemed to be a little more comfortable, but the younger one was emotionless. I was completely heartbroken for them. They actually live in one of the better orphanages in the Ukraine. It is a Christian place where the kids live with foster families in apartments. So these boys were being pulled away from the only "family" they know.

The ride home was fine as the boys were too tired to do anything but sleep. It wasn't until the next day that we found out that these little shy angels were actually incredibly hyperactive little boys. The little one, in particular, had to be watched every second. And then he started having discipline issues. We would tell him to do something and he would do exactly the opposite and laugh about it. We would tell him not to do something and that is exactly what he would do with a smile on his face that said, just try to stop me. We could not control him in timeout and he was biting and hitting and throwing things. Despite my heart for these children, I called the program director and told her that we needed help. Even Olga, the chaperone, was having no luck with him. So we took him to the male chaperone for the night to see if he could get him under control. I also called David and told him to get ready to work from home for the next 5 weeks. We were both at a loss of what in the world God was doing. When Stasik returned he had a run in with David, who could also not control him, so we called again and the director thought it best to look for a backup host home. She said that this was the first time since the inception of the program that they had had these type of issues. Usually children with such behavioral problems were filtered out before they got to the US. Stasik had also only turned 6 in May and almost missed the age cut off for his visa to come here, but had squeezed through. What was God's plan here?

Before these children got here, my only prayer for them was that God would give them a family. Many people said that he would put them in our family. In my haste to figure out what God was up to, I had never considered that He might have only used us to bring these kids over here. The guilt at not being able to manage them was overwhelming. My thoughts ran to the people who would happily tell me, "I told you so", and those that would question our own adoption process in China. All of this on top of the fears of how these boys would handle yet another transition. This was not their fault. I felt that even Stasik's behavior was not entirely his fault. I was running the gamet of emotions while I was working all day long just to keep everyone busy, fed, clothed, safe, and happy.

Stasik's behavior improved slightly the last two days he was with us and we found him to be a smart and funny child, but the plan had already been set in motion. The program director had found a back up host family in NC who were missionaries. These people were considering adopting. Not only were they considering adopting, but they would have participated in the hosting program and probably even picked out Stasik and Danyk if they had not received the paperwork too late. They have 4 children, but there only son had been begging for 2 brothers. I won't even go into all the amazing ways that God showed that this was His direct working, but let's suffice it to say, it was one step removed from writing on the wall.

So yesterday, we met this beautiful family in Augusta to drop off the boys with them for the remaining 4 weeks of the program. My heart was still very heavy as Danyk had cried himself to sleep after we told them. Evidently both boys had been under the impression (not sure from whom) that they would be staying with us forever...that we were their permanent home. They didn't even know that they were going back to the orphanage in 5 weeks. Wouldn't that have been a rude awakening. In one short week they had come to love "their new family" and we had come to love them too. Even "God" transitions are not always easy.

I am so thankful for the way that our Father looks after all of His children. I am overwhelmed with the knowledge that even the smallest and seemingly forgotten orphan is a treasure in His sight. Oh, how we take for granted the amazing love and faithfulness of our God. This experience has changed me forever... it has changed our family forever. We are reevaluating and rethinking a good many things about our own adoption and ways that will change our lives. Now we are able to prepare to be more prepared! Some people might look at this situation as a waste... we look at it as an investment. We just learned more in one week then we probably have in two years. Not only that, but our prayer for these boys may be getting answered and if they go back with a waiting family, it will stand as one of the greatest accomplishments of our lives.

We are in West Palm Beach now, taking the vacation that we had planned to do with the boys. Though I miss them, I am thoroughly enjoying resting and recuperating. The host training manual made it clear that we were to send back with our orphans everything that they came with. It noted not to even keep one small thing to remember your child(ren) by. There was no need for me to keep anything... I will never forget Danyk and Stasik, precious treasures of a huge God!

Ready for Ukraine!

Ready for Ukraine!

Posted by Candace

Today is the day that our sweet summer guests arrive and we are so excited! We have their beds ready with gifts for them. We have fruit ready, in case they don't like American food. We have translators ready on our phones because we know very little Ukrainian. Now if I could just pronounce their names...

Stanislav and Danylo are 8 and 6 years old. We learned yesterday that the 6 year old had just turned 6 a month or so ago and in doing so, secured his trip here. For some reason the Ukraine was turning down the visas of children younger than 6 this time around for the hosting program and so several children could not come. These boys actually have only been in the orphanage since last summer so they are relatively new to the system. They are in one of the better orphanages in the Ukraine that is actually Christian, so they do get to hear about Jesus at home. I don't know any of the background that they came from, but the facilitators of the program said that many of these children come from alcohalic and abusive situations. Whatever the situation, we are super excited to have 5 weeks to love on them and enjoy them and pray that God will send them permanent homes, we hope right here in America.

We met several couples yesterday at the training that have been called by God to be involved with orphans. Several of them had adopted more than once. One family was hosting 4 girls through this program, already having 2 children of their own. Another family had 5 children and were hosting 2 other little ones. There were also 2 couples that were grandparents that are hosting children. The sacrifice of these people was motivating! I am excited to see all of them with their host children at the airport this afternoon at 4pm.

On the long road to adoption, full of uncertainty and waiting, this time will be not only good practice for us, but also a small amount of reprieve as we get to care for orphans directly and not just look forward to the day when we welcome our girls. We have no idea what to expect, but we know that God will be with us every step of the way. He has already been working to make this an easier transition. My dad and his wife came for an unexpected visit and she has been cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry while my dad has helped get and build furniture. I would have been crazy this week if they were not here. Also, we have the privilege of hosting one of the chaperones from the program who is bringing the children here and she knows English and will be able to translate and help the boys adjust to US craziness. We will have her here with us for a week, so even though at first the idea overwhelmed me, I am gratefully seeing it now as the hand of God. We could be bringing home two very homesick, tired, and scared little boys, so to have her here will lessen the strain a bit.

So off to the airport we go at 4pm! We will have our welcome signs and our smiles on (though we were told yesterday that all our smiling makes us look like "stupid Americans" to the children...lol. Being blonde, I am used to that anyway ;)). We are ready for the challenge that the next 5 weeks will bring. We have no doubt it will be life changing! And bottom line is that we only have this one life to live and it is passing us by fast, so no matter the sacrifice or the uncertainty involved, we are determined to make it count. These are some of God's children that will not be overlooked or unloved. We have the privilege of being a part of their lives and we are embracing that. And I am praying with all my heart that God picks parents out for them while they are here :).

This hosting program from the Ukraine is done every summer and winter. There are over 200 children selected for the program, but only 29 had available homes this time, so if you are all at interested in this program, even to present it as an option for ministry at your church, please let me know and I can get you the information. The Homes of Hope website is www.hohinternational.com .

One last little note, we sent off our first phase of immigration forms to the government last week as I finally received our approved home study. Once we get US approval back, we can finally send our docs to China and I am hearing that once they get there in two weeks we will know who our girls are! Thrilled!! Please pray that the beauracracy hurries our paperwork through as sometimes this can take 2-3 months to get back (which throws our whole timeline off).

I will post pictures on Facebook later of the boys' arrival! Yay!

Summer Daze!!

Summer Daze!!

Posted by Candace

Hot, hot, hot... words that describe just about every day lately! We need some rain to wash away all this dryness! Funny, how David and I feel that way even about our lives lately. The days lately have been a little dry for us. But not without cool drops of refreshing rain here and there. We find that rain in our friends and family. So many of you supporting us through this season in our lives. So many of you thoroughly interested in what God is doing in our family. So many of you faithful to help in as many ways as you can. Some of you supporting us even in spite of your own trials, pain, and busyness. We don't take it for granted... it doesn't go unnoticed! We pray every day that Christ will bless you beyond measure for the blessing you are to us.

Summer is definitely here, and we definitely feel a bit dazed! We are waiting on our approved home study to come in the mail, so that we can send off our I-800A immigration form. I check the mailbox eagerly once again. I thought it had come one day last week, but alas, it was just my boss sending me some more checks, so I could pay his bills...lol. Thankfully we are also waiting on the boys from Ukraine to join us and help our summer to go a bit quicker...not that I really want it to, but I also do, ya know what I mean? The boys should be here on June 24th and we hope to throw them a party in July as we are pretty sure they have never had their own party! So hopefully many of you will get to meet them!


We are still searching for a church, which is a bit difficult during a time when we could use that kind of a support system. But we are also excited about what God has in store for our family in the ministry of His Kingdom. We have visited the Orchard a couple times now and really like it, but we are taking our time in prayer and trying to make sure that wherever we settle will be where we are supposed to be for a while. We feel that God has some plans in the works right now, so we are just trying not to short cut the process. Impulsive me is starting to feel like my dog probably feels when I chain her up in the front yard...lol.


I don't know that life has ever been so unknown, but neither has is ever had so much potential. We are definitely learning patience, definitely finding ourselves continually on our knees, and definitely cannot say that we are in charge right now. Trusting in our big God to lead us through this summer daze :)!

New Day, New Opportunities...

New Day, New Opportunities...

Posted by Candace

2011 seems to be flying! The boys have one more week of school left and then they are out for the summer! Crazy... Even more crazy is the fact that Jordan will be in 6th grade next year...middle school! We're going to have a middle schooler and a football player. I am taking a deep breath even as I write this. I guess I just never quite thought it would happen. Kids grow up soooo fast. It seems like just yesterday I was helping my middle school brother with his homework, and playing Monopoly with my middle school brother-in-law, so I'm not quite sure how my son is now at this stage of life.

Admist this bittersweet time, we are more ready than ever to have our little girls here. Finishing our home study last week was a great feeling. One more step closer to having our children all under the same roof once more :). We are so excited! I am beginning work this week on our I-800 immigration form and as soon as we have our home study back, we will be mailing this out. The paperwork portion of this journey is just about over...for now!

We have had a new opportunity come our way through our adoption agency. Open Door works with a program called Homes of Hope International. This program brings over orphans from the Ukraine for 5 weeks in the summer and winter to host families, some who are interested in adopting them and some who just feel called to give them hope. David and I feel like we are the latter, so this summer we will be hosting 2 brothers, ages 5 and 8. In order to do this, we will need money for their travel and also to provide items for them to take back to the orphanage when they go home. We are planning some fundraisers right now to recoup these costs that we are paying out of our adoption fund. We are going to do a yard sale on June 3rd and 4th and maybe a car wash soon. We need donations for the yard sale, so if you have anything you are interested in giving, please let me know as soon as possible. I can come pick it up or it can be dropped at my house. I will be sending an email out this week that will give more info about giving monetary gifts. We are so thankful for everyone who is already supporting us through all of this and we ask desperately for your prayers in the days, months, and weeks ahead.

Our lives are quickly changing and sometimes it is overwhelming, but both David and I and, I think, even our children realize that this is not our doing, it is God's. The mission He has given us on this earth is not about us or how comfortable we can be... it is about building His kingdom and being His hands and feet to those around us. We have been prepared to walk this road, but we still have moments when it is very scary, so please pray that we will have courage, wisdom, and endurance for everything that God is asking of us. Not only with the orphans that our lives will touch, but in every area of our lives that He is changing right now. We know that the support of our friends and family is crucial to our ability to move forward...so thank you with all our hearts!

God's Timing is Perfect!

God's Timing is Perfect!

Posted by Candace

Wow! This process is just moving right along right now. We have had 2 meetings with our social worker and we have another one Friday and then the last one on Wednesday. They are going very well and we have connected with Charlotte (our social worker) on a personal level, so it has not even been uncomfortable. Once we finish the last visit next week, she will write up her report and turn it in to Open Door. I received great news this week in that the home study doesn't get sent off to the State of GA for approval... it only has to be approved by the adoption agency! This means a little less beaucracy and less wait time!! Yay! So here is the timeline that we are hoping for right now, and asking you all to pray for, according to God's will, of course...

1. Home Study Approved by the end of May


2. Dossier document gathering and CIS application approved (immigration) by the end of June (this is sooner than average, so please pray)


3. Dossier certified by the state and US government by the end of July


4. Dossier sent to China by the 1st of August


5. Referrals of our girls (when we get the pics and make a decision on accepting them) by mid August/ Acceptance of referrals by the end of August


6. Travel to pick up the girls in December (What a Christmas present this would be!!!)

Of course, these dates are on the "hopeful" side of things, so please, please pray that God will grant us favor. Our coordinator says that right now immigration approval is taking anywhere from 4 days to 6 weeks, so we would really like to be on the 4 day side of things. The other time frame that has leeway is the certification of our docs by the US. Pray that we won't get caught in any red tape!

We are thrilled to think that we may have our girls by the end of the year, but also a little overwhelmed with the thought. Need lots of prayer in this area as well. This will be a huge change for our family...the best one ever, but the most challenging as well. We need the support of our family and friends like never before as God fulfills His purpose in us. Thank you so much for all you do to be a part of that. So thankful that we are not walking alone.

The waiting is challenging, so many things outside of our control, but somehow I am learning to like it. If I can't control it, it does no good to waste energy on it, so I have to consciously place it in God's Hands and utilize that saved energy on other things. Faith and Trust and Patience are all difficult lessons, but as we learn them, our lives become stable and healthy. If God is on our side, what have we to fear? His timing is always perfect!

Never Too Late to Get Back Up

Never Too Late to Get Back Up

Posted by Candace

Well, I talked to our social worker today and we set up an appointment for Saturday afternoon at 1pm for her to come do a walk through of our house. Do you think I will be cleaning this week? Unfortunately so... I am sure David will insist we pass the "white glove" test, even though I will do my best to try to convince him that they would like our house to look "lived in", not like the cover of Better Homes and Gardens. I mean do children really live in those magazine houses? Really? But anyway, I am very excited to start this last part of the home study process. Charlotte says we will have 4 visits with her as that is what China requires. I hope David and I can fake a happy marriage that long! hahaha...completely kidding!!! :). During this first visit, Charlotte will walk the house and make sure it meets with certain standards and guidelines. No idea what they are, so we shall see. But I am excited nonetheless.

Waiting has become the norm in life right now, and I am finding it a little bit easier. Though I want with all my heart to find our girls and bring them home as soon as possible, I also realize that God is preparing me for this while I wait. He is already changing my view of structure and my schedule and you wouldn't believe the practice He is giving us with chaos. Every time I think I get it all straight, He digs a little deeper and I find myself floundering again. Hopefully soon, I will be perfect and won't need all this work any more ;). Again, completely kidding, I am afraid He will be working on me for the rest of my living, breathing life. One minute I totally get it and the next I feel like I am in the middle of a forest with no marks on the trees. I thought it was only me, until I was reminded at a recent church service of the story of Peter.

Peter was Jesus' loud mouth, speak-before-you-think disciple. I love most stories of him in the Bible because I can completely relate. Peter followed Christ without fail for the full 3 years of His earthly ministry. He was one of the disciples who got to see the Transfiguration, most of Christ's miracles, and even walked on water with Him for a few minutes. When other disciples turned back because they couldn't handle Christ's declarations, Peter stood strong with one of my favorite verses in the Bible "Where would we go, Lord? Only You have the words of eternal life. We know that You are the Messiah." And yet after Jesus was arrested and was well on His way to being convicted, Peter denied that He even knew Jesus. Not only did he deny Him, but he actually cursed Him. You would think that this would seal his fate as much as it did Judas'. But Peter's heart was soft. His rashness and his mouth (wow, that sounds so familiar) got him into trouble many times, but his heart was for the Lord. Peter realized his sin and repented from the depths of his heart. He was a broken man... He had failed his Master and his Lord... I bet that he thought his relationship with Jesus was forever ruined. Christ, however, rose from the grave and I find it very interesting that one of his first appearances was to Peter. Peter was fishing and wasn't catching anything... Jesus appeared on the shore and told him to cast his nets to the other side of the boat. When Peter obeyed and pulled up his nets, they were full to the brim. It was then his heart probably sank. It was Jesus on shore. How on earth would he face Him after completely betraying Him? Gosh, I can't imagine the shame that must have engulfed him...to stand before the One he had called "Messiah" and then cursed as soon as life got rough. You would expect that Jesus might should give him at least a very good chewing out. But Jesus doesn't... He simply asks him 3 times how much Peter loves Him "You know that I love you, Lord." Peter replies 3 times. And then Jesus gives him something to live for... He says "Feed my sheep". Or in other words "Peter, accept my forgiveness, forget about yourself, and move forward in my plan." Jesus reinstated Peter in a way that Peter never could have reinstated himself. Jesus still trusted him with His church! He didn't take back what He said about "Upon this rock (Peter) I will build my church and the gates of hell will not prevail against it." He still wanted Peter to be a crucial part of what He had done on the cross. WoW!

I love that story primarily because, I , like Peter, fail my Lord so many times... and I, like Peter, need Jesus personally to sometimes reinstate me, remind me, and motivate me to get back up and continue forward with the mission He has created me for. And He still does what He did back then... I may not be able to see Him, but I hear His voice in His Word or through another person or in my heart telling me that His grace is sufficient for me. He's a pretty amazing best friend!

Please pray for us, particularly on Saturday, that all will go well and we will mesh with our social worker. Hopefully soon, step 1 will be completely complete :).

How Long is This Going to Take?

How Long is This Going to Take?

Posted by Candace

Do you remember the movie "Madagascar"? Well, if you've seen it, you probably remember the scene where King Julian and all his followers are waiting in a tree for their new friends down below to fall asleep. After just a few minutes, King Julian yells "How long is this going to take?"

Yep, I'm a little like King Julian right now. The longer I live, the more that I am assured that I HATE waiting. It is one of the reasons I often rush headlong into things without a second thought and it is also a reason for building frustration when things seem to be taking a long time or I have to depend on others to get them done. Impatience is definitely NOT a virtue, and I often experience its rotten fruit. Right now for instance, I am waiting for one last piece of paperwork before I can mail in our home study packet and finally be moving forward again in this adoption process. This one thing seems to be taking forever, and every day that passes, I find myself getting a little more anxious and a little more doubtful about everything. Sounds exactly like God is teaching me patience, huh? I'd almost rather be learning Greek :). But for now, I will continue to let go of each passing day that seems to be pushing our dreams to far off land, and trust that Father knows best. I don't want any of this to go faster or slower then it should. Good things come to those who wait, and I am expecting that at the end of this long road there will be very good things. God, grant me the patience required for this journey...

Last week was Spring Break and David and I took the boys to Tampa, FL to visit Busch Gardens. It was a wonderful, short escape from the pressures of life and we thoroughly enjoyed each other. We spent 2 very full days at the theme park and the water park and besides being thoroughly exhausted by the end of the day, we had one of the best family vacations we have ever taken. David kept reminding the boys that they needed to enjoy it to the fullest because it would probably be a while before we would return...which brought visions of someday keeping tabs on 4 kids in the midst of crowds. Yeah, it really might be a while before we return :). We were very thankful to get this family time, though and we were made even more thankful for the time when we learned that a dear friend's mother moved to heaven last week, fairly unexpectedly. We were reminded that life is short and every moment counts. We all must remember to make the most of every opportunity and actively pursue and walk in the plan we were created for.

Which brings me to the last thing I wanted to write about today. I recently read a book called "The Butterfly Effect". The point of the book was the fact that everything you and I do, no matter who you are, matters. It gives several examples of how one man or woman changed history and changed lives, sometimes by seemingly insignificant right choices. But those small right choices compounded, sometimes several generations later, and led to big events that changed the world. Think about this... you may never be someone that influences the world... but what if tomorrow, you encouraged someone enough that they had the courage to become someone that influences the world. You may never personally rescue a child from the sex trafficking trade, but what if tomorrow you gave of what you had and a child was rescued and that child grew up to rescue more children. You may never be a teacher or a preacher, but what if you inspired your children so much that they became teachers or preachers and the people that they inspire became the same. Changing the world begins one conscious person at a time making one conscious right choice at a time. When your life on this earth is over, it is not your earthly legacy that will matter, it is your heavenly one. There, and only there, will it be revealed the incredible impact you have had on this earth... or not. No person on this earth is insignificant unless they choose to be, and no choice, good or bad, impacts only the chooser. Our lives matter and it is never too late to make a difference.

Please pray that we get this home study sent off this week and that we can quickly finish up with our social worker visits and be approved by the state of GA. Also, please pray for the Peeples and Davis families as they lost a dear saint this past week and will miss her very much. Also, if you would be so gracious as to pray for David and I as we step out on faith in another area of our lives. We feel very called to something right now, but we are not so sure at all what that looks like. We recently left our church of 3 years to pursue whatever direction God intends for us, but doors have yet to open, and we would so appreciate prayers. Again, I find myself pulling a King Julian..."How long is this going to take???'

Waiting on You, Lord

Waiting on You, Lord

Posted by Candace

I haven't posted lately because I have just been swamped with this paperwork trimester of adoption. Seems I get one thing finished, or so I think, and either I didn't have it exactly correct or it needs some thing else added to it. Last week I visited 2 police departments, 2 doctors offices, DFCS, and an employer all in one day and came home with nothing completed to show for it. This week I am busy collecting everything that I distributed last week. As I type this I am waiting on a tax return from 2009 to print out that seems to be 1000 pages long. But all in all things are coming together and I should be ready to send back a mountain of paperwork sometime next week. This is just the beginning of the home study though. We haven't even had the first visit with a social worker, so hopefully this is the hardest part of what is in store.

In the midst of keeping up with 2 jobs and finding a way to get forms completed and notarized and turned in, I have also found myself searching for a way to keep up with things on the homefront. Any of you who know me, know that my homemaking skills are lacking :). I am a "fly by the seat of my pants" type girl who hates routine and struggles with discipline. Sometimes, believe it or not (for some of my OCD friends out there), this can be a good thing. I rarely get stressed with things that are last minute or spontaneous... it is the little mistakes here and there or the little whispers in my ear that "I should do this" and "I should be doing that",they overwhelm me... and I couldn't figure out why until a friend of mine put her finger on it the other day. "You're a perfectionist, aren't you?" and the answer in my head was that if you ever saw my house, you would never feel the need to ask that again. And then I took the time to think about it for a minute. Lately I have been feeling very overwhelmed, stressed, and pretty much like a "screw up". I've been on high alert to my mistakes in this adoption process, at work, with my kids and my dog, at home, pretty much everywhere. These were all piling up high around me yesterday when this question was asked. So here is the answer, Kelly, "Hi, my name is Candace and I am a perfectionist." I know, crazy, right? I can guarantee as my mother-in-law is reading this, she thinks it is (Love you, Mom). But I really do expect myself to be perfect. I don't hold that expectation for life or for anybody around me, but I hold myself to standards that I can't always meet. You never really have to get upset at me for a mistake...all you have to do is point it out and I am already beating myself with a baseball bat. So yesterday afternoon, as I was planning out how I was going to become super housekeeper on top of everything else, I pretty much lost it. I haven't cried in a while, so David was quite puzzled when I burst into tears. He, of course, was asking himself and me what he did (Poor guy. He has been the brunt of a good many crying episodes). And in that moment when the tears began to fall, I felt my Father in heaven put His arms around me and speak soothing words to my heart. "It's okay, Candace. I am here. I am the reason you don't have to worry about being good enough. I see your heart, Candace. Quit being so hard on yourself and just do the best you can." Well, perfectionist me is balling by now, thinking about how I don't even deserve for Jesus to be comforting me... I mean I haven't read my Bible enough or prayed enough or had enough quiet moments with Him. You know what, I am not good enough...but He still loves me. How in the world can we resist such love!

So today I have done as God requested, picked myself up and I am trying again, realizing that perfection is not an option. I may not ever have a spotless house... I may not ever be employee of the year... When my kids grow up, they may have some stories to tell about the mistakes mom made... and I may not ever reach even my expectations for myself... but when David wrapped me in his arms last night and asked what he could do to help, my answer was "you already have". I realized that David loves me just as God does... because I am his gift from God, not because of what I do or don't do right. I love my children here and in China because they are my gifts from God, not because they will never make a mistake. When we have the power of Christ living in us, this is how we should love, overlooking the faults of others. And when we are loved in such a way, we should NEVER take it for granted.

Perspective, Perspective & Perspective

Perspective, Perspective & Perspective

Posted by David Roberts

My awesome wife finished up her blog updates yesterday, and I sit here tonight on the back porch with the sun going down, family close following a great evening last night catching up with old friends giving serious consideration to the ramifications on perspective in the life of those of us who call ourselves "followers of Christ".

I find it interesting that someone as out there as Friedrich Nietzsche got it more correct than most of us do in so called Christian circles when he said "You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” With very few exceptions on foundational principles of God, existence and laws of nature/life, perspective is everything and we usually get it wrong, no matter how right we think we are. On our way home last night in the car, we (Candace and I without the boys amazingly) discussed how often we are down on our close neighbors for getting something wrong (theology, personality, sin...) in daily life and then we go out and fly halfway around the world to "change someone else's life" who has it, in our opinion, way more wrong in their view on life. Why do we do this? What makes us attack and draw hard lines with those close to us and near us while we spend our lives as followers of Christ going after others that are far worse off by our localized standard of judgment.

I cannot put my finger on it over the last few years where it changed for me, but I have to say that sometimes you just have to go in some totally different directions and get exposed to much more than our superficial and controlled/localized world to see the big picture. Anything else leaves us with a highly ignorant perspective on life, God and most obviously those closest to us and around us. Many of those around us have incredible amounts to offer up to God, society and personal friendships if we will only get past our perspective and let them.

I cannot wait to hopefully soon get on a plane to the other side of the world and pick up those 2 little girls that have absolutely zero in common with me and my family to bring them back and expose my family to yet another new and amazing perspective. Our perspective is so often skewed based on our localized environment which is such a pity. We do not even know what we are missing.

I started reading "The Scent of Water" this week by Naomi Zacharias. This is all while my wife is reading "The Hole in our Gospel" by the founder of World Vision. The opening lines of chapter 1 tells a story that is worth repeating: "I was twenty-seven when I first read the story about the Hasidic rabbi who told his people that if they studied the Torah, it would put Scriptures on their hearts. A woman asked him, "But why on our hearts instead of in them?" The rabbi answered, "Only God can put Scriptures inside. But reading sacred text can put it on your hearts, and when your hearts break, the holy words will fall inside."

I pray now daily that maybe before I die, that all that learning, teaching and studying of the Scriptures over the last 35 years will somehow become real and go beyond simple words on pages. Sometimes it takes a tragedy, broken heart or more to make it real. May we continue to head in the right direction always and keep in mind when we come in contact with those who seem to have it different than we do: perspective, perspective & perspective...

Making the Most of Opportunity

Making the Most of Opportunity

Posted by Candace

Today as I write Japan has suffered a horrible natural disaster. As if an 8.9 magnitude earthquake wasn't enough, it created a tsunami that reached 33 feet in some areas. The pictures and videos have been devastating to take in and even though it is thousands of miles away, that doesn't change the fact that these are families just like ours. It is difficult for us all to watch as we cannot even imaging what they are facing. These people lived quiet lives...most of them were probably innocent citizens...some were Christians...and yet none were spared from facing the worst earthquake disaster ever to affect Japan. Our hearts go out to these people as do our prayers. May God not waste these hurts, but may He use this as an opportunity to save many.

We are still knee deep in paperwork for our home study. Seems like every time we get one thing completed, another thing pops up that we need to take care of. Such is life. I have been ridiculously busy lately as I try to keep up with 5 different "main" things. David has been so helpful and even agreed to take a day off next week to run around with me and hold my head on :). This week we got letters out to all our employers (there are at least 3) and am sending up prayers that those will come back properly notarized in a timely fashion. Next week will be doctors offices, police station again, and DFaCs...yay! Bet you wish you were me. Thankfully our criminal records came back clean from the FBI...I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I was actually nervous as I opened the packet. Neither of us leads an obvious double life, so that is good. I still have a goal of the end of March, but as quickly as March is passing, I may need to be more realistic. We'll see after next week.

Some challenging adoption news was also reported this week. Ethiopia announced that it is cutting its international adoptions program by 90%. This is a major blow to a good many potential adoptive parents and a good many orphaned children. Just as in other countries, the reasoning is that a small percentage of these children end up in bad situations. Please be in prayer that this country will do what is best for their children. Of course, all abuse possible should be eradicated, but there also must be consideration to the thousands of children that can barely be fed and clothed in the orphanages.

Lastly, I read something interesting the other day and wanted to share. I have written before about the role we play in the lives of people around us and the opportunities that we are presented with every day to show love. It has rarely occurred to me that we should consciously assess each person and each situation before we decide HOW to show that love. We are all different. The way that I love each of my children is different. I know their ins and outs, so I know what is most effective in showing them they are loved. So it with those around us. One person may just need silence and a hug, while another needs encouraging words, while still another may need a good kick in the pants (I don't mean literally, of course). As I was reading a commentary on the story of Martha and Mary, I came across this...

"Here is one of the great difficulties of life. So often we want to be kind to people, but we want to be kind to them in our way; and should it happen that our way is not the necessary way, we sometimes take offense and think that we are not appreciated. If we are trying to be kind the first necessity is to try to see into the heart of the person we desire help - then to forget all of our own plans and think of only what he or she needs."

I certainly would love to have more friends in my life who think this way, so I know it is necessary for me to become that kind of friend. Putting others before ourselves entirely involves this kind of love.

Please pray for Japan this week and also for Ethiopia...and then there is Libya. There are just a lot of countries that need our prayers...including our own. Also please pray that we will get this paperwork done quickly and correctly as one small discrepancy will hold up the whole thing.

Thank you so much for following this journey with us. It is wonderful to know how much support we have and how many people are praying for us.