YES, He's ON TIME!!

YES, He's ON TIME!!

Posted by Candace

This is going to seem like an odd way to start this post, but have you ever had a panic attack?  I'm not talking about a moment of anxiety or fear, I'm talking about a full-fledged "Am I dying?" panic attack?  This girl has lived with them for my entire life.  Anxiety made itself my best friend for MANY years and held on like I was the last person on earth that would dedicate my life to it.  I have had so many "Am I dying?" moments that on several occasions I have laid on my face and asked the Lord to call me home. 

A little over two years ago, I was on my face at the best worship event I have ever attended crying out to the Lord to change me.  At that event, He challenged me to imagine my life without the fear, without the hold that anxiety had on my life.  He said to me "Daughter, I see your heart and I love your heart.  I'm going to use your heart."  I am so undeserving.  I have no huge talents or gifts... there is nothing super special about me... believe me, there are only weak things over here.  Weaknesses piled to the ceiling, but a heart that has only ever sought to be right with God, to be pleasing to Him, to walk in His ways, to glorify His Name.  My weaknesses often get in the way of that, but thank Jesus that He sees straight to the heart and He lifts us up in His strength and does AMAZING things that we could never even think to ask.

My Dad posted this on one of my Facebook statuses today...

"I turned 56 the other day. But when I was a young man of 19, her mother and I were given a baby girl. I didn’t know what to expect, but I was always amazed by her. It was amazing to hold her in the palm of 1 hand. It was amazing what her little mind could grasp and contain. She always struggled with anxiety but within it was a determination. I remember when we lived in Indiana when she was little. It was the dead of winter, snow and ice on the ground. She was staying the night about 4 blocks away with a little friend. About 2am I heard a knock at our door. I opened the door and there she stood, in her footie pajamas. She wanted to be at home more than anywhere else. She had slipped out the bedroom window and walked home. This little girl, now a strong young woman, still amazes me. These children belong with her."

I tear up every time I read this because my Dad rarely gives glimpses into his heart, but today I saw myself in it.  But I also laugh every time that I read this because I remember that night very clearly and I could only have been 9 or 10 years old, but I remember running home in my footie pajamas (thank goodness they make those again for cases like mine!).  I remember that I wasn't afraid of leaving without notifying anyone or of the dark or the cold, I was only afraid of not being at home... I just couldn't find safety outside of my small comfort zone. 

The anxiety in my life and my tendency toward panic has shaped me in a way that has thrown me closer and closer to the only true Refuge of life.  Mark Bearden mentioned the other day in a Refresh session that the Lord asked him to make a choice, "I can deliver you from your circumstances or I can be your life."  Now that may look like a hard choice to make when we are talking about panic attacks because there is not much on earth worse...as a matter of fact, my worst fear is not death, it is panic.  But ultimately that choice is easy for me, because even panic free, this girl cannot live without my Savior.  I know too much, I have seen too much, I have experienced too much to even think about that question without a quick "You BE my LIFE!"

I say all this to make it very clear that David and I did not make adoption happen on our own... as a matter of fact, we did not choose adoption.  We chose Jesus and He chose this path for us.  He continues to make that VERY obvious.  This time He has taught us much about grace and faith through our Naomi and Jessica.  If I told you every detail of the story, we would be here all night so I will give you just a taste of what the Lord has done.

• We started this journey deciding to adopt again and receiving the referral of a 2 year old angel who is missing an ear.  We decided to name her Naomi Grace.  She has a new name and she doesn't even know it yet!
• We started this journey, not only having no idea how we would pay for this adoption, but struggling tremendously to keep the company and our personal finances afloat. 
• We came across "Jolie" on Facebook (yes, it can be used for good. it's a tool, people) and we immediately sensed a call to her
• We made the decision that God was calling us to "Jolie" (who we are naming Jessica "God beholds" Faith) and that this journey would indeed take faith since she was aging out before the end of the year.  God also broke through all of our boundaries as we had agreed not to do a teenager and not to displace our birth order (moral of the story: never tell God what you won't do)
• We realized it would take a miracle to reach Jessica in time and we began to seek the Lord.  We also asked Him to prepare her heart for us.
• A girl named Katie Hale emailed me a few months later and shared that she had spent a whole week with my daughter sharing love and the Gospel with her alongside an organization called "Bring Me Hope".  She taught her how to pray and brought truth to the lies the enemy was telling my daughter.
• We were able to establish contact by email with my daughter through a translator and emailed back and forth for weeks.  I was able to not only establish relationship with our sweet girl, but also to coach her through some really hard stuff and to teach her more about Jesus.
• In the meantime, it was very hard to believe that we would reach Jessica in time.  Our process had several hang ups and with every passing day, the impending date of November 3rd became heavier in our hearts.  At one point, I literally had to offer this girl up to the Lord and say, "You know what the plan is for our girl's life.  This is Your's.  Whatever You say, we will do."  The same night that I did that, my sweet friend, Emily Flynt wrapped her arms around me and whispered, "China is not going to let this girl age out."  I can't explain it, but after that night I had the faith to believe she would come home.
• Early in the process, I had told David that I wanted to take the kids with us to China.  I didn't feel like Kate was ready for an extended stay away from Mom and Dad and I wanted Jordan and Nathan to experience their sister's country.  We both wondered at how we would come up with the extra funds to do this, but we decided that if God could provide the adoption money, He could provide the travel money too.
• Last month, it made me almost sick to think about how much money we needed to actually get to China.  It weighed and weighed on me. I begged God not to let me be sitting here with TA and no money to travel.  The Lord had told us not to fundraise, but to watch and see how He would provide so that all the glory could go to Him.  Just two weeks ago, the Lord released some payments that had been on our company books due for almost 6 months.  David commented that it was almost as if the Lord had been holding the money in escrow.  We have almost what we will need to wire to China.
• Today I had just finished packing the last suitcase, I had just received all of our passports with visas in the mail, and I got THE phone call.  Our TA is in the system.  the last piece of the puzzle has found its place and we will be headed to China before the end of the month. We have our plane tickets booked and our suitcases packed (we have to go to Loganville for a week before leaving for China to get everything in order at Ascend because we will be gone for 3 weeks).

I don't have sufficient words to end.  I can only say that by His grace, He is teaching us that faith in Him includes faith in His timing.  He is an ON TIME GOD.  He. does. not. fail.  He doesn't.  You think that He has failed you in one situation or another, but what you don't see is how He is working all of it together for good.  I still look back on my childhood sometimes and wonder why in the world I had to suffer SO MUCH...SO MUCH with anxiety.  I wonder why God would let a small girl spend sleepless nights in absolute terror... why He would allow her to be afraid to go certain places... why He would stand by and watch her beg Him to take it away.  And then I remember that I learned how to pray in those nights, that He saved me from many mistakes in those places, and that He heard and answered my every cry even as a child.  I am glad that He chose to make Himself my life instead of making my path easier.

I still struggle, especially with travel.  I feel today like Joshua about to enter the Promised Land and fight some giants and all I can hear God saying is "Be strong and courageous!"  You think He had to tell Joshua a lot of times, there ain't no telling how many times He will have to tell Candace.  Yet today, as I watch Him lower the sun below my sight line, I am assured that the same God who has carried me, as a man carried his daughter, all the way until I came to this place, will carry me to China and back with my sweet daughters.  He will. Amen.

It's Time.

It's Time.

Posted by Candace

I grew up Charismatic.  My formative years in church were spent in a tongue-talkin', pew hoppin', Holy Ghost shoutin', "if you don't fall out, God hasn't shown up" church.  I was literally taught that denominations were without the truth and deader than a door nail...particularly Baptists.  So imagine my surprise when the Lord paired me with a recovering Southern Baptist husband and sent us through several years of church searching.  David and I have been in Wesleyan churches, in Methodist churches, Assemblies of God churches, and yes, Baptist churches.  Yet, I have never, in all my years, been in any church like the Lord has formed here in obscure Albany, Georgia.  Sherwood Baptist Church has broken through all my boxes and is continuing to astound me encounter with God by encounter with God. 

This week, Sherwood hosted its annual Refresh conference.  This is what we former Pentacostals know as revival.  I had been told how good this conference was, and how life changing it would be, but I was unprepared for the last three days as I now realize I still had my "how can a Baptist revival be life changing?" glasses on.   You see, I have been in a lot of conferences...a lot... I have seen a good many "revival" services... and many times, they were more hype than holy.  I already know that this place is different.  There is a reverence for the Lord, His Son, His Name, and His work.  There is an upholding of truth.  Instead of asking "how we can be more culturally relevant?", our pastor asks, "how can we follow Jesus more closely and immediately in obedience?".  There is no contention with the world to be more entertaining or comfortable, as a matter of fact, many services are down right uncomfortable, but the draw is always there "Come and see". There is a freedom of worship at Sherwood that is balanced and never out of order.  Yet, there are times that the Holy Spirit descends in such a sweet way that people flock to the altar while the message is still in progress.  No doubt this church is different.  I just truly was not expecting multiple days of conferences at my amazing Baptist church to be attention grabbing and life changing.  My subconscious has been programmed to lean toward the "dry and boring" Baptist label.

Refresh was POWERFUL.  The Lord humbled me from the first session and hooked me in quickly.  I literally mourned a little when I missed the second day because of needs in my primary responsibilities.  The Holy Spirit was not only magnified and glorified in a magnificent way, but Jesus was the focus. It wasn't Jesus + music stars or Jesus + great pyrotechnics or Jesus + great manifestations of the Holy Spirit.  It was the still, small voice that we were listening for.  The voice that can only be heard when you are quiet and desperate and humbly in need of a Savior.  I simply cannot describe the beauty in words.  We experienced the Lord in such a mighty way, but there was no rush of wind through the sanctuary or dancing in the aisles or tongues of fire on our heads (hmmm...maybe they should check the video before I say that :).  I am not saying any of these things are wrong in themselves, but they are wrong when they become the focus... when they make or break the meeting.  This was ONLY Jesus glorified through His called servants as we worshipped and fed on the Word.

As I said before, I missed the Tuesday services.  This morning I was bummed as I went in.  The things I had heard about Tuesday were incredible and I felt that I had missed out on what the Lord said.  Yet as I sat in the first session this morning, I felt the Presence of the Lord descend into my heart as Ken Jenkins read out of II Kings.  God got my attention with the passage that graces my senior yearbook as my favorite of all time... and just as if He was standing before me, I heard Him say "Listen.  Pay attention, Candace.  I am speaking to you."  I don't know that I have ever felt that strongly before that the Lord was speaking to me through the mouth of a human on earth.  And I needed it.

This month we are going to China.  Up until now, this has all just been talking and dreaming and reading emails from my daughter so far away.  Recently it has started to become reality and I went into this week completely and utterly overwhelmed.  I mean, ya'll (and some of you know), I feel like I am barely keeping together what is already on my plate... what in the world was I doing adding two children to the craziness?  The enemy has been shouting loudly in my ear, "How can you think you can bring these two girls home and be any kind of good mom to 5 children?" "Do you really think this is all going work?"  "What are you going to do when God leaves you flat on your face ashamed of your failure?"  "Aren't you already always feeling that you can't do anything well because you have so much to do?"  Words of rejection, failure, doubt, and fear are being continually thrown at me... those fiery darts of the wicked one.  My shield of faith was drooping going into this week.  I was crying out to the Lord to prepare me for the road ahead.  I now see that our trip was strategically planned around this conference for just that reason.  This week I realized that EVERY knee has to bow and EVERY tongue has to confess that Jesus Christ is Lord...especially the enemy.  This week I realized that when I say "Yes" to the Lord, everything that I need that has already been given to me at salvation is at my disposal as I stand strong in the Lord and the power of His might.  This week I realized that I will not go to China in my own power... I will not adopt 2 girls into our family in my own power... and I will not continue to walk in the plan that the Lord has for me in my own power.  I am confident in this very thing that He who began a good work in me is MORE THAN ABLE to bring it to completion... I am MORE THAN A CONQUEROR through Him that loved me... and He is doing far MORE THAN I COULD EVER ASK OR THINK according to the power that works within me.

It's time.  It's time to go to China.  It's time to complete this task that the Lord Himself has assigned to us.  But most of all it is time to surrender.  Jesus, I surrender to Your plan.  There is no plan B.  Wish I could offer You more, but all I've got is a whole lot of weakness.  Glorify Your Name.

State of the American Population – we have lost our ability to see truth

State of the American Population – we have lost our ability to see truth

Posted by David Roberts

So I could not really help but notice all the unusual posts and perspectives about the government shutdown that started roughly 24 hours ago. First, the government did not shutdown. There is a mass % of the government that is running just fine and continuing to spend money at a dizzying pace. I will not bore you with the details but there are some legitimate web posts that detail what did and did not shutdown today. While we are all panicking and blaming Republicans, POTUS or generally everyone in Washington, please note a few interesting but clearly unknown facts by most who seem more interested in utterly ridiculous FB posts than understanding reality. This goes for many of my friends.

• Just because something is the law of the land, does not mean you don’t do everything in your power to change it, stop it, defund it, or whatever it takes if you feel it will destroy your country. Don’t believe me? How about slavery? Yeah, go think about that one. 
• Tip O’Neill, the legendary Democratic leader presided over 12 government shutdowns. Yeah, back then they just called them “funding gaps”, and today they are “shutdowns”. Today, the one presiding over them in the House is typically referred to as “terrorists”, assuming they are Republican. 
• The media started reporting these “funding gaps” as “shutdowns” only in the 90’s when Newt Gingrich presided of 2 of them. These intentional shutdowns were to force a balanced budget. Ironically, they worked and the last balanced budget we had in this country was under Clinton/Gingrich. Oh what we would do for those days again.  
• The House of Representatives passed a budget bill and it was actually the Democratic-led Senate that voted 54-46 against the bill, which would fund the government only if President Obama's healthcare law were delayed a year. I know, crazy Republicans wanting to hurt Obama, right? Since Obama already delayed parts of his own law because they could not get it kicked off successfully, why are the Republicans terrorists for asking to do the same for just one more year? Hmmm. Nevermind. 
• Obama in a stump speech during the first campaign claimed Bush was irresponsible and unpatriotic for using a federal credit card to raise the debt limit from $5 trillion to $9 trillion. Hmmm. In 5 years, he has raised it from $9 trillion to $17 trillion. Any liberal media folks are calling Congressmen terrorists for saying we are fine shutting down the government if that is what it takes to stop the spending madness?

Dont believe me? Here is the YouTube feed: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8PKtcwzA8A (watch it for yourself)...

Below are the 5 steps to a federal budget. Does anyone online complaining about Congress have a clue how this even works? Do any of these amazing folks have a clue that Obama has failed to send a single budget to Congress since he stepped into office 5 years ago? What you may notice below is that of the White House, Senate and Congress, there was actually only 1 group who actually did their job this week. Ironically it is the group that most super intelligent people on Facebook today are whining about and blaming. Yep, Congress did their job. The WH and Senate did nothing but say NO. That includes POTUS and Harry Reid on the record. 

How Does the Federal Government Create a Budget?

There are five key steps in the federal budget process:

Step 1: The President submits a budget request to Congress

Step 2: The House and Senate pass budget resolutions

Step 3: House and Senate Appropriations subcommittees “markup” appropriations bills

Step 4: The House and Senate vote on appropriations bills and reconcile differences

Step 5: The President signs each appropriations bill and the budget becomes law

And to close, please know this is not a big Republican fund raiser I am pulling here. Frankly, the establishment Republicans make me sick. I have WAY more to lose than most that might read this. During the 90’s shutdown, the US Consulate’s did not issue almost 30,000 foreign VISAS. That means if they repeat that, my little girl in China might not get what is required in time for her to come home with us prior to November 3rd, when she ages out of the system in China and becomes unadoptable. So, while some of my federal employee friends are freaking out right now, I find it ironic that they were not freaking out when they were spending year end budgets to the tune of hundreds of thousands of dollars on absolutely nothing useful, just because it had to be spent. That is just the tip of the iceberg and the hypocrisy is quite amazing. And that is for many who I claim as friends. Don’t even get me started on the rest of the population. 

Pursuing Peace

Pursuing Peace

Posted by Candace

You know that feeling you get when the Lord opens your eyes to things that you sorta wish you could have stayed blinded to?  Well, I have it right now and at the risk of bearing even more of my weaknesses as a human being, I felt like I needed to share some things that the Lord is currently teaching me...not because I really want to, but because writing helps me to process things and as long as I am writing it down, I might as well help someone else.  So if you are that someone, who like me has been looking for peace, here are my flawed jabberings on the subject.

For years I have wondered why I could not seem to "curb" or get rid of certain habits in my life... not just one, but several things I feel have often jumped on a pedestal and become my god in certain seasons.  The more I fought against these habits, the more they seemed to control me, the more guilty I felt, and the more I felt that I should just "give up" and let them rule. After all they were just little things... surely God Himself must need a good dose of chocolate on some days. 

No, I am not talking about big things here... I'm talking about the small things... the sleeping in that slowly turns itself into laziness... the television viewing that is never satisfied with to "watch just one"... the sugar cravings that before you know if have consumed the whole batch...the shopping habit that takes you into the store for "one thing" and brings you out with 3 bags.

See, there are no little idols... idols forever and always seek to become bigger.  An idol's scream at you is "MORE" and not just more, but "MORE NOW".  Any time you feel this inside yourself, you are most likely dealing with an idol.  Sometimes they are really hard to uncover because they hide as perfectly good gifts from a loving God who gives us all things to enjoy.  Some even hide as things that are easily passed over as "ridiculous" or something that "all your Christian friends do".  Only deep in your heart do you know that your day is not complete unless you have them... that it feels like there is not much to live for if you have to forego them...that any day they are missing is a "let's get this day over with" day.  You don't know when or how, but these "small pleasures" have at some point become crucial to the outcome of your day... they are your refuge...your rest... your hiding place... your peace... and they do a bang up job for a good hour or so before you need something else or something more.  Wait... "refuge", "hiding place", "rest", "peace"... just other words for "god", right?... Yes, they become your god.  They sit on the throne of your life and say "You can't live without us.  Don't even try.  We are in charge."

These are the idols that I am talking about here and the idols that I have wrestled with continually, always wondering why I could not conquer them.  Stupid things that I actually have chosen over obedience to Christ at times because... because.. because...  This is where the Father stopped me this time on the merry go around.  I had been fighting and focusing on the symptoms and I had no idea what I was really missing...what spot was I really trying to fill.  It hit me the other day and it has changed my perspective.  Not only has it changed my perspective, but it has given me ammunition against the enemy, because I now recognize who the enemy is.  My search really has nothing to do with TV or sugar or sleep or coffee...often I would forego these things to purposely try to destroy them and just find myself building some other cow over in the corner to replace them.  No, my search is for PEACE.  I want a break from the struggle, a breather in the middle of the chaos, a lull in the overwhelming storm.  This isn't a wrong desire and it is not something that needs to change, but it IS the root of the problem in that I often pursue the wrong solution for the right problem.  Of course, we all need rest, we all need a break, there is nothing wrong here except that where we turn when we find ourselves exhausted, overwhelmed, and done has a lot to do with whether we will be fully refreshed and ready to go on afterwards or distracted, frustrated, and looking for more.

Understanding that idol-making is often a search for peace made me realize that I have a choice to make.  Jesus said, "My peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you, not as the world gives..." The world comes up with a myriad of pleasures that promise peace... they promise that if you just buy this car, or find a way to look younger, or watch reality TV, that you will find peace.  Yet these promises fall flat EVERY. TIME.  With every new thing that we acquire or spend our time on or sink our teeth into we may find some kind of temporary peace, but Jesus didn't die so that you could live on temporary peace.  He went to that cross so your peace would be permanent.  So it would be everlasting.  He stands at the door of your heart and says "Child, if you would just give me all those little things that you are using to prop yourself up, I will exchange them for my peace."

So the question has been presented to me (and by osmosis to you) "Are you willing to take Me at My Word? Do you believe it's true?  You say you believe its true, but you live grasping lies trying to mold them into your own tangible god that you think you can control?  Are you willing to let go of your worldly peace so that you can experience Mine? Do you trust me?"  Because I really believe that until we knock down the idols...every single one... we cannot experience the true peace of God that guards our hearts and minds... we have replacement guards on duty.  Do we trust God enough to take Him at His Word and believe that if we let go of the things we hold dear that He is more than able to fill those empty places with His peace?  Can we place all those things into His Hands...even the good and glorious things...and entrust Him to give them back as gifts when He sees fit.  Of course it isn't easy and it is probably even a process and it will undoubtedly look different in every person, but if we are going to pursue peace it start here, friends.  It starts with turning away from all other gods and looking full in His wonderful face.  It starts with saying, "No, chocolate chip cookie, I will not eat you... you cannot offer me the kind of peace that I am really searching for." and then seeking after the One who can.  You think I'm kidding... but I'm serious.

"Turn away from evil and do what is good; seek peace and pursue it."  Psalm 34:14

Note: I do not want to leave any impression that I think we should give up everything that we love because it may be an idol.  You have to determine between you and the Lord what things in your life are an issue.  These may be things that you do not have to shun for all of eternity...they may be perfectly good gifts from the Lord that just need to be put back in their proper place under HIS authority.  Try offering these things back up to Him and letting Him give them back to you as He sees fit... as long as you can receive His gifts with thanksgiving to Him and an "open hand" they are not an idol in your life.  It is when we are consistently seeking, pursuing, and grasping at these things and then keeping them away from God's reach that they transition to "idolhood".  Condemnation does not work in idol destruction (I should know)... peace pursuing does because what you are really searching for is something SO MUCH BETTER than what you are actually getting from your idols.  At least this is what I am in the process of learning right now. 

Standing On the Promises: An Adoption Update

Standing On the Promises: An Adoption Update

Posted by Candace

When I take Jordan to school in the morning, I traverse Eight Mile Rd.  About four miles into Eight Mile Rd, there is a pair of railroad tracks.  For the first two weeks of this journey to and from school, I flew across those railroad tracks with barely a glance in either direction (they say the faster you go across railroad tracks, the easier it is on your vehicle, right?).  Something happened one day recently though that stopped me dead in my tracks... I saw a "stop sign".  For two weeks, I had never seen the "stop signs" on both sides of the tracks... I mean to the point that I wondered when I saw them if they had just been put there that day.  My daily trek down Eight Mile Rd has changed and it's simply because I saw something that had been there all along.

Our pastor is teaching out of II Chronicles 20  and every time I open to this great passage of Scripture, I feel a little chill run up and down my spine.  Jehoshaphat's prayer is powerful in these verses.  He was facing a battle with an army far too great for Israel to defeat on their own, so the Bible says that he gathered all of Judah to seek the Lord (even the infants and children were there) and this is what he prayed before all of Judah...

"Yahweh, the God of our ancestors, are You not the God who is in heaven, and do You not rule over all the kingdoms of the nations? Power and might are in Your hand, and no one can stand against You. ⁷ Are You not our God who drove out the inhabitants of this land before Your people Israel and who gave it forever to the descendants of Abraham Your friend? ⁸ They have lived in the land and have built You a sanctuary in it for Your name and have said, ⁹ “If disaster comes on us—sword or judgment, pestilence or famine—we will stand before this temple and before You, for Your name is in this temple. We will cry out to You because of our distress, and You will hear and deliver.”

¹⁰ Now here are the Ammonites, Moabites, and the inhabitants of Mount Seir. You did not let Israel invade them when Israel came out of the land of Egypt, but Israel turned away from them and did not destroy them. ¹¹ Look how they repay us by coming to drive us out of Your possession that You gave us as an inheritance. ¹² Our God, will You not judge them? For we are powerless before this vast number that comes to fight against us. We do not know what to do, but we look to You.^[c]

 

When I pointed out to my husband my love for the questions Jehoshaphat asks God in this prayer, he noted that at first glance this sounds like arrogance on Jehoshaphat's part.  When you dig a little deeper, however, I believe that the Lord loved answering this prayer for three reasons...

1. Jehoshaphat KNEW God's promises
2. Jehoshaphat BELIEVED God's promises
3. God is BOUND by His Word

 

Jehoshaphat was not challenging God before the people.  He was demonstrating great faith in what God had already said and already done.  As a result, there was great victory in this battle and they didn't even have to fight (you can read the whole story in II Chron. 20, and I fully recommend that you do).

 

Friends, we have to know the promises to believe the promises to watch God fulfill the promises.  Just like I was blowing by the stop signs at the railroad tracks, we can be blowing right past the promises of God...never seeing even one fulfilled in our life, because we have never taken time to search the Word and to LISTEN for the confirming voice of the Lord.  His Word is there for the taking, for the digesting, for the upholding, for the victory, but if we are in too much of a hurry to be on alert, to watch, to wait, and sometimes to STOP, we will blow right past the very thing that would be our salvation.

 

So here I sit, waiting for two more approvals before I can get to China, even when the approvals come the Lord will have to provide an astronomical figure of money for us to travel, in a busier season of life than we thought possible and this is what I found myself praying this morning...

 

Lord, you are BOUND by Your WORD.  Are you not the God who promised to bring my daughters from the east and gather my sons from the west?  Are you not the God who wrought a great victory over the Moabites and Ammonites for Jehoshaphat and the people of Israel?  Are you not the God who plundered the Egyptians to build your tabernacle in the wilderness?  Are you not the God who has promised to NEVER leave or forsake your children, but to work everything together for good?  Yahweh, Creator of the sun, moon, and stars, Maker of the galaxies, and Lover of my soul, is anything too hard for you.  In a million years, I could never make happen with my own hands what you are about to do with Yours.  This battle is far too great for us, but our eyes are on YOU.

 

STAND on those promises, dear friends.  STAKE your lives on them.  He will be glorified in the end!

Come and See a Letter from Our Sweet Oldest

Come and See a Letter from Our Sweet Oldest

Posted by Candace

Today I received this letter from our Jessica Faith (Xiao qi).  I wanted to share in hopes that some of you with a heart to adopt older children will be encouraged to move forward towards the child waiting for you.  As the time draws closer for me to hold this girl in my arms, I don't know how I am ever going to cope with having missed 14 years of her life.  14 years this stunningly gorgeous and amazingly brave girl has been without her Mama. The parts in bold will haunt me until the day of our meeting. Jesus, redeem the time!

Dear mom, dad, brother and sister,

Hi

How are you doing? I hope you are all healthy and fit these days. I am doing good and I hope you do not worry about me. I met Katie in the BMH summer camp, she told me I could pray to G O D so now I pray for G O D everyday. I hope Kathie could be my GAMA( a special relation in Chinese tradition similar to mentor in life), is that OK? I think about you all the time, I really want to meet you so much. Could you tell me if the adoption process is going well? I hope to hear from you soon, I really miss you.

Love you forever,
Xiaoqi

 

 

On Adoption: Forgetting What is Behind

On Adoption: Forgetting What is Behind

Posted by Candace

Since becoming a part of the adoption community, I have read countless blogs, opinions, and training "manuals", all designed to help families transition and work through typical adoption issues.  I have read some really good information and some really bad, unBiblical information.  Wading through this stuff as someone who was not adopted (though I claimed to be often), can be exhausting and as my friend, Joy says, we don't have to digest everything... But when it is shoved in your mouth, sometimes you swallow without thinking when you should be spitting out (Oops, wrong reflex).  So as in everything, we MUST let the Word trump anything written or taught by man.

The Word is a pro-adoption book...to the point that if you have NOT allowed Christ to adopt you, you are lost...abandoned...without hope in this age or the age to come.  The Bible is clear about its stance on adoption...to the point that it makes it a requirement.  Within this requirement is this beautiful and amazing concept of redemption...a Life laid down so that we have the opportunity to live.  In this concept of redemption is a beautiful bride without spot or blemish...made up of all colors, creeds, cultures, and nations...all of us adopted by Christ and living freely in the family of God as brothers and sisters.  This is the amazing picture of an adoptive family.  Forgetting what is behind and pressing forward to what is ahead...not wallowing in the past, the "what ifs" or the "could have beens"...not going back to Egypt, but walking forward toward the Promise Land.

Of course, we live in an imperfect world and we are imperfect people so we all struggle daily to live out this picture to some extent.  Even the "oldest" children have weaknesses and find themselves "wishing" for things contrary to what the Father has ordained...there is a measure of imperfection in all of us.  But we are all striving as believers for the perfect picture that Christ has painted in the pages of His glorious Word.

And I think that is why I struggle with some things I read and hear about adoption.  Bear with me as I am candid with my struggle.  Please hear me out and try hard not to judge.  I know that I don't have the full picture and many times I am only going on the Word of God...and if that makes me naive, it just does.

I struggle when I hear people say that when an internationally adopted child receives a family outside of their country that they are not coming home, but actually being ripped from it.  While I completely understand the thought process behind this and the grief that comes with a child leaving his/her culture, home is where the Love is.  We aren't at home in this world anyway.  We are strangers...sojourners...so though a child might never look like or even talk like or think like their adoptive family, they are HOME.  They are where they belong.  Just like when we come to Christ, we don't hang on to our old way of life...we learn a brand new one.  Please hear me when I say, I am not saying that I think it is wrong to hang on to culture or traditions from our children's countries...as a matter of fact, I feel part Chinese inside.  Every time I come across a Made in China label, I have an urge to buy (I quickly realized I couldn't afford 90% of everything sold in the US, but I still get warm fuzzies at this label).  I am only saying that when God chose Kate for this family, she came HOME.  Home is bigger than what you look like or what country you were born in...it is where the Love is.

I struggle when I hear people say that internationally adopted children would be better with their birth parents.  When I see Kate run and play and be unashamedly loved...when I see her live in freedom and learn Jesus, I have a really hard time with this.  Maybe it is because I am selfish, but I think it is also because I see God's redemption.  I see our Father has taken something so broken and made it beautiful...and I just have a hard time taking myself into the "what ifs" here.  Again, maybe I am selfish... maybe I am unwilling to get into the dirt of a parent's pain on the other side of world... but maybe it is because I wasn't called to Kate's parents (and I pray every day that SOMEONE is), I was called to Kate and what I see is beautiful.  Is that at her expense? I don't think so... through adoption, Christ has given Kate the opportunity to be openly loved beyond measure and to learn about Him freely.  It does Kate NO good to "what if" and to "wish " that sin did not exist, that parents all wanted their children and could afford to raise them, that Eve didn't eat that apple.  Yes, we can let Christ work through us to that end, but this world is broken.  Yes, I grieve that Kate's parents are missing out on the gift God gave them.  I "wish" I could find them and share her with them somehow, but fact is, I can't. When she is old enough... when Jessica comes home... when we have to deal with identity issues... guess where I will take them.  Right to the cross... right where we all have to go... right where eternal redemption happens and your past no longer means a hill of beans.

I struggle when I hear people say the my internationally adopted kids will struggle all their lives with being different from our family...from not looking like us...that they will to some extent always struggle with identity.  What a fabulous opportunity for our family to learn our true identity is in Christ!  Do we believe it or do we not, dear brothers and sisters?  Are we so concerned with the worldly view of things that we forget how true and life changing the Word is?  Are we scared to believe it because this is the "real world" and we just have to stay "grounded"?  I don't know.  I may be naïve here.  Kate is not old enough to express such insecurities... but I will tell you.  I grew up more insecure than most of the population and I had my mom and dad around for most of my growing up life. I don't think this is an adoption problem at all... I think it is a "fallen world" problem.  We must know and cling to who we are in Christ because that is our identity.

So I may be adoptionally incorrect, but my life will be spent instilling the Word into my adopted children...praying daily for them...loving them as best I can... and teaching them that ultimately we are all in the same boat.  God has a plan for everyone He created.  Yes, my adopted children have suffered more than I would have ever, ever planned for, but somehow God allowed that suffering and He will use it ALL through their lives to shape them into the children He created them to be.  I will teach them to yield to that Hand and let Him use even the darkest stuff for His glory. They won't get a pass...an excuse to stay a victim even after Christ redeemed.  Because after all, don't we all have very, very dark moments...moments when we felt and thought we had been abandoned... parents or not, we all struggle through these things.  Adoption is not an exception to the Gospel.  Adoption is the Gospel.

^"13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Phillippians 3:13-14