Is Every Christian Family Called to Adopt?

Is Every Christian Family Called to Adopt?

Posted by Candace

So I have been wandering around in adoption land today and praying about the future children that God may have for us spread out over the world.  I am pretty sure that our journey through this land does not end with Kate.  While we were in the middle of the adoption process and I was scared out of my mind, I was praying one day and God led me to this verse..."Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the EAST and gather you from the west. I will say to the north 'Give them up!' and to the south 'Do not hold them back!' Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth." Isaiah 43:5-6.  Obviously I know that God was not talking about adoption in this verse, but it took me captive as if He had written this directly to me at that moment!  Of course, sitting on my porch that day, before even meeting Katherine Hope, I told God how impossible this was for me.  He loves that... the fact that His vision for our lives cannot be accomplished by human hands or human brains.  I didn't share this even with David right away, because I was pondering it in my heart.  Could He really be calling us to what my heart was longing for, but my mind didn't think was possible?

Kate only confirmed the vision of a family that may one day be a tiny picture of our eternal home...many races and creeds and cultures living together in love.  I am very excited about the call that I feel God has placed on our family... so excited that it would be very easy for me to force this call onto others with the best of intentions..  No, I do not think that God calls every family to adopt.  I have seen people try adoption out of guilt and it doesn't work.  There is no flow and though they are attempting it with hearts that just want to obey Jesus, often times it ends in disaster or disappointment.  We were commanded to care for the orphans and the widows and to defend the fatherless, but that does not necessarily mean that we all are commanded to adopt.  Don't get me wrong!!! I am 100% for adoption and anyone not following that desire or call out of fear of some kind should go back in this blog and read...because if I can do this ANYONE can...as long as God has told you to.

So how do you know if you are called?  That, my friends, is between you and your Father, but for me it was a vision that set my heart afire, but was much too large for me to step into on my own.  Here I am on the other side of it saying, as soon as you know this is what God wants for you...run towards it!  You will not regret it.

Do I understand the implications of what I am saying?  Yes, I have thought long and hard about my stance on this.  There are many groups that will tell you that adoption is for everyone and that you need to do it because God commanded it.  There are many that will tell you if you have enough love and enough money then you don't have an excuse.  There are many of us that will scream at you about the 150 million orphans waiting for homes...yes, I am one... I saw them with my own eyes and it is difficult not to jump on a plane and bring them all home.  We all do it with hearts for babies who need parents, who need attention, who need love, who need a family, who need Jesus.  But it just might be that God expects you to respond to this orphan crisis in another way, and let me tell you, in the grand plan, it doesn't matter what you or I think it "best" for these 150 million children.  God knows every single one of them by name.

So what can you do to follow God's Word?  Yes, you have a place in all of this.  If you are a Christian, then you have a direct call to defend the fatherless, to care for the widows and the orphans, and to act on the behalf of the weak and the poor.  I am about to give you a few things that you need to be doing...pick one or two, but for heaven's sake, do not sit back in your comfortable chair and do nothing.  It is only then that you are sure to be disobedient.  Once you know that there are 150 million children that need you, you are ACCOUNTABLE.  Some people are just naive and have never been educated about the problem...you, however, are about to know.  When you are given the knowledge, you are then required to do something.  I dare you to stop reading :)  Because we are about to go around the world...

• China (near and dear to my heart) - most orphans are abandoned because of their sex (male babies are preferred over females and China's one-child per family policy keeps most families giving up their girls)  Orphans are also abandoned because of special needs that require more resources than the families can give.  While visiting Kate's "hometown", I realized that poverty must force many of these abandonments as the parents are without resources to care for themselves let alone children.
• Africa - many orphans have lost both parents due to AIDS or the surviving parent can no longer afford to take care of their children (AIDS is an epidemic in Africa).  Orphans also can lose parents in wars or genocides or simply due to the conditions of poverty in most of the continent.
• Russia and the Ukraine - Russia is currently a closed program, but most of the orphans in these Kremlin like nations are from situations of violence, abuse, drug addiction, or alcohol addiction.  Many are taken from their parents for their own safety, some are abandoned by the parents altogether.
• South America - Most orphans in nations like Honduras, Brazil, and Columbia are abandoned due to severe poverty.  Some have lost parent due to drug abuse or drug cartels. 
• Asia - outside of China, many children are orphaned because of birth defects and special needs.  Asians have a history of pride in their culture and regard people with defects as a hardship on society.  This and the frequent lack of affordable medical care makes for a pretty large orphan population.
• US of A - yes, our own country is filled with orphans.  Most of the children have been removed from a situation due to abuse or neglect.  Infants are regularly orphaned because mothers are too young to care for them, yet decided to give them life.  Many of the children in our country make the foster system their home and are moved from family to family, never finding a place to rest.

So now that you know...what is expected of you? From my point of view, one or more of the following...

• Adopt.  Follow that desire and step out into a world teeming with faith and grace.  Find out where God has your child waiting for you.
• Give.  What resources do you have that can bring children home to their parents or take care of orphans in the place where they are right now?  If you need a place to start "like" my Facebook page "Bring Them Home/Give $5" (Yes, that is a shameless plug. With an army of people, we are going to help these called families bring their babies home) There are also great organizations like "Love Without Boundaries" that care for orphans based on the donations of people just like you.  It is easier than ever to connect with people around the world who are doing great work in caring for these babies.
• Support.  Find the families that are in the midst of adoption, post adoption, or considering adoption.  Pray for them.  Babysit for them.  Make a meal for them.  Love on those babies that they have brought home starving for affection.  Give them any free resources that you have available to give.  We were given a free photo shoot when we came home with Kate.  It was an incredible blessing!!
• Pray. Pray for these orphans around the world.  Pray for these countries.  Pray for revival that will sweep out the lifestyles and governments ridden with sin, selfishness, and greed.  Pray that the adoption system will avoid corruption at all costs and that children will not be used as pawns for political games.  Pray for the families that are called to adopt because their lives get messy when they answer the call and they need to be upheld.
• Volunteer.  Volunteer at a pregnancy resource center.  Go on a mission trip that assists the orphans plight. Give of your time whenever you hear "orphan" or "widow".  Get to know the children surrounding you...perhaps some of them are fatherless or abandoned in some way.
• Educate.  Read books and blogs.  Get the facts about the orphan plight.  Listen when someone comes to your church to speak on adoption.  Know what is going on around you in the world...and then help someone else understand.  The more the word spreads, the more God has an opportunity to speak to hearts about His plan for these kids.  "Kisses with Katie" is a great place to start and is a very entertaining read that even a middle schooler would enjoy.  Oh and that reminds me, teach your children.  Educate them.  Breed a spirit of adoption in your family whether you have adopted or not.
• Act.  Whatever you do, DO SOMETHING!  Lack of obedience is disobedience.

Why are orphans so close to the heart of God?  Where do you think He got all His children??  He only had one Son.  The rest of us are adopted... REDEEMED!!!  And let me just tell you, when you respond to God and obey His call to the orphan, you get to see redemption with your own eyes...and once you are a part of someone else's redemption, you never want to do anything else with your life. 

Last question... what will you do with this post?

Resolution or Just Resolute?

Resolution or Just Resolute?

Posted by Candace

Brand new year brings out the best in everyone.  Something about having a clean slate makes us ready to fill it up with life improvements.  You may have heard the technical term for this being tossed around throughout the month of January.  Resolution: a firm decision to do or not to do something.  Resolutions are a great thing.  I actually asked my children to write out 5 of them the other day.  I called them goals, just because I cringe at the term resolution, but they knew exactly what they were and had broken half of them before the end of the day.  I heard them say things like "I need to go run around the culdesac before it gets dark. It's my resolution."  The running never happened, but a lot of talking about it sure did.

Why don't resolutions work?  Why do many of us spend the month of January determined to change our actions, our reactions, and our decisions and the month of February beating ourselves over the head because we failed to complete our list for even a month.  Maybe because it is very easy to make a resolution, but not so easy to be resolute.  Resolute: admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering.  Sounds a little less popular, doesn't it? 

You really have to know a thing or two about being resolute before you will ever make a successful resolution.  Does admirably purposeful describe you?  Because before that resolution must come a purpose for it and the purpose is gonna have to be admirable.  You have about a 5% chance of losing all that weight so you can fit back into your wedding dress...why? because you are already married and there is little chance your husband is gonna want to renew the vows any time soon.  So it seems like a great idea, but there will be little motivation when that cupcake is set before you at the next birthday party.  Now if you are trying to lose all that weight so that you have the energy to run around with your kids again, you have found a much better resolution.  Those babies stare you in the face every day begging you to get off the couch and come play with them.  You have a increased your odds a whole lot more that you will follow through.

Are you determined?  You have come up with an admirable purpose, but now you are hitting a brick wall.  Determination requires sacrifice. What are you willing to give up to see this to the end result?  Recently I started to watch the series "Lost".  I started on Season 1, Episode 1 and thought I would go through the whole 6 seasons and keep myself busy for a while.  Almost immediately I was convicted.  I kept fighting it, but I knew that I needed to sacrifice here.  By episode 10, I couldn't ignore the Holy Spirit any longer.  I needed to stop watching.  "Why?"  I kept asking.  Plenty of people that I know faithfully watch 2 or 3 ongoing shows a week.  Why was the Lord picking on me?  And then He spoke...straight to my heart..."Candace, you can waste time watching all 6 seasons of that show, but that's exactly what it will be...a waste of time that you could be spending moving forward in the call that I have for you."  I am determined not to consciously waste another moment of time that God could be working through me for His Kingdom.  I get easily caught up in and addicted to things like this show and can easily neglect other things while I am.  It was not a good choice for me, and God was gracious enough to bring conviction to help move me toward my goal.

It's time to be unwavering.  We see so much wavering around us under the peer pressure.  We believe and live out something until it becomes unpopular, and then suddenly we are questioning everything we have ever known in the name of tolerance.  Of course, we would be more comfortable going WITH the flow... of course, we would get more accollades, have more "friends", and avoid confrontations.  Compromise is the word of the day. That is why resolute is a character trait. It is not built in a day like a resolution is. It is not the dream, it is the running after the dream. It is not the goal, it is the daily fight toward that goal. Resolute has flown out the window as resolution has become increasingly popular. Yet a resolution is only great imagination without resoluteness. It is the difference between thinking and doing...between talk and walk...between becoming a idealistic couch potato and allowing your ideas to get you off the couch.

I imagine Jesus being resolute.  I don't think He ever woke up and wrote down the top 10 things He wanted to change about Himself or even about the world.  I think He was simply resolute in doing the Father's Will.  He stuck to the plan.  He is only looked at as a "rebel" because He went against the flow of this world to follow EXACTLY His Father's plan.  He was admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering to the end.  "Not my will, but Your's be done." a resolute prayer that saved the world.  So as you are reviewing your resolutions now that January is coming to a close, why not add this prayer as a tag to your dreams.  After all, isn't your will really just a resolution anyway?

How is Kate?

How is Kate?

Posted by Candace

I thought this morning that some of you not following me on Facebook might like an update on our Katherine Hope.  She has almost been home 9 months now and she has stunned us with her progress.

When Kate first came home, she had some trust issues.  This is not hard to imagine since she was in a new country with new people who did not speak her language.  She did a great amount of lashing out at us.  She would hit, scream, bite, kick, gouge us with her fingernails...she was hilariously aggressive and we honestly loved it because it showed a fighting spirit.  At least she was not holding it in where we could not see it and deal with it.  When we went anywhere, Kate would try to hide.  She wouldn't speak to anyone and usually tried to get away if they reached out to touch her.  Again, this was trust issues...Would we leave her with them?  If she let go of us, would we be gone?  She stayed close to us and rarely went to anyone.  Kate could not speak a lick of English.  She would babble on and on in Chinese while I wondered how in the world we would teach her our language.  How exactly does one start?

Here we are nine months later... If you didn't see her little Chinese self, you would think that I birthed her and raised her myself.  She still has that fight...as a matter of fact she just slammed a carrot down on my desk because she is mad that she has to go put panties on before breakfast.  I have had to interrupt this post about 5 times to deal with her screaming, but it is because Nathan is once again teasing her one minute and parenting her the next...it really, really aggravates her.  Do you hear the life of a normal 3 year old?  She no longer lashes out, except in really extreme cases...if she feels the need to defend herself from the boys, if she is really, really hurt or scared or mad...and I can count on one hand how many times that has happened in the last 4 months.  Last night at church, she begged to go to her class and see her "fends" and I had to run after her several times to keep her from doing that 3 year old wandering thing.  All I could think was "She TRUSTS!!!"  She knows that if she crosses the boundary or goes too far, we will come after her!!!  She knows that when we leave her somewhere, it is safe and we will come back.  She knows that she belongs to us and she is safe in that knowledge.  As for her English, her concept and grasp of word context is completely amazing.  She still has a tad of a Chinese accent, but remembers no Chinese.  We hope to reintroduce Chinese to her shortly as we are a little sad that it is all gone, but until then we will just be happy that we can fully communicate with her and her with us.  And I mean fully communicate.  The girl can have 30 minute conversations with you and understand everything you tell her.  She is amazingly smart.

As for her leg, it is getting stronger every day.  She still walks with a significant limp and cannot run without falling on her face...and yes, it is usually on her face...the girl does not catch herself with her knees and she is flexible enough that her face is usually the first thing to hit the ground, although usually her feet are still on the floor as well...think triangle.  The rod seems to have really given her some support and I no longer panic when she falls on it.  We have had no incidents since Dr. Fletcher made it better. Yay!!  Her bones are all still affected by the fibrous dysplasia and I wonder sometimes about how simple things will be possible, like bike riding or running, but I am truly leaving all that to Jesus... It is all so unimportant and secondary to the love that we have for each other.

And love her, we do.  We get lost in those deep brown eyes.  We say "No" a good bit now, but it is sometimes very hard and we often end up in stitches when she leaves the room.  She is just such a spitfire.  David and I do not have enough interesting DNA to have produced this child.  It is definitely a good thing that we have plans for siblings for her, because it could be dangerous with the way she has her daddy wrapped around her finger.  I thought that I might be a little jealous of this, but I revel in it.  I love to see him brought to his knees by someone 25 lbs :).  Makes me happy.

My relationship with God has been a little like Kate's relationship with us.  When God adopted me into His family, I had major trust issues.  I am not a fighter like Kate, so I just hid.  It has taken a good long while for me to trust and release myself fully to my Father.  I am currently learning that it is okay for me to wander a little in trying to find His Will, because if I go too far, He will come after me.  I am learning that when I mess up (and I DO!), He doesn't kick me to the curb or write me off as a mistake, He lovingly corrects me and then comforts me as I deeply repent and beat myself over the head with a baseball bat.  And I am learning that if, for some reason, it feels like He has left me...He hasn't and won't EVER...and soon I will feel His presence again.  He is a faithful Daddy.  I have been redeemed, just as Kate has. 

Kate just ran in here with a new pair of panties.  When I asked her what happened to the other ones, she grabbed my hand and excitedly pulled me toward the bathroom..."I show you. I show you."  She pooped in the potty!!!  I will not mention that toilet paper was strewn all over the floor, or that she had yuckiness running down her leg.  She pooped in the potty!!!  No, this is not the first time, but when you are potty training it's the little things...or the completely disgusting big things... that excite you.

"Like" This Page!!!

"Like" This Page!!!

Posted by Candace

So this will be short and sweet... I know you don't believe me, so go ahead and scroll down, come on. right now...scroll down and see how short it is.  I can be a woman of a few words when I need to be. 

First, I encourage you to check out my previous blog entitled "The Accuser Whispers" if you haven't had a chance to read it.  Insecurity is a rampant problem and I think it might encourage you if you are anything like me.

Second, I have created a new page on Facebook called "Bring Them Home/Give $5".  The purpose behind this page is to raise up an army of people committed to adoption who will give $5 to families trying to bring home their children through adoption.  We will post blog links, donation links, etc intermittently and you will have the opportunity to help these families financially.  You may not be able to adopt, but maybe you can skip McDonalds this week and contribute.  The goal is to get this page out there in the social media world and get thousands of "likes".  Then our $5 multiplies and multiplies until maybe one day we are actually contributing enough funds for an entire adoption.  What's in it for you?  Nothing... it's all for the glory of God! :)  Please join our team by liking this page and then by not just ignoring posts from it, but giving this small amount to as many families as you are able.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God will bless you over and abundantly for helping to take care of His babies.  Also, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE share this page with friends, in adoption groups, etc.  Without the numbers, it will probably just become one of those fizzled out archived pages.  We need you!  Children around the world need you!  And called families need you!!!

You can find the page on my wall.  I will be reposting in at least once a day until it hopefully takes on a mind of its own...please pray that God will bless it.  I feel that He put this idea on my heart.

See!  You probably didn't even have to scroll!!

The Accuser Whispers

The Accuser Whispers

Posted by Candace

In the interest of being real today, I hope I can get a witness or two about what I have decided to be quite vulnerable about.  A little voice follows me most everywhere that I go.  No, I am not seeing dead people or anything strange like that, but I am an accused woman.  When I walk into a room filled with other women or other people in general, it whispers "You aren't dressed right." "You are too loud."  "Your jokes are really stupid." "Everyone sees right through you to the sham that you are."

How I long to quiet this voice!  For a long time, I thought if I just tweaked my wardrobe, sat quietly in my chair so as not to draw attention, made everybody laugh, or hid all my weaknesses that I would feel better about my self and be better liked.  As my relationship deepened with the Lord and I realized how shallow those things were, I thought that maybe I could just tune out or ignore the whispers.  Finally, I know the answer.  It is never effortless and it doesn't mean an end to the constant murmuring in my head, but it give me confidence even when everything within me is saying "be unsure of yourself".

Do you hear these whispers?  Does the accuser sit on your shoulder demeaning and criticizing most of what you say and do?  Are you continually working to look put together, to have a more interesting career, to be more charming?  Sometimes do you miss the whole point of a gathering because you are overwhelmed with the whispers of what you are not, what you don't have, what you can't do?  Please tell me I am not the only one.  I believe the accuser follows every one of us women around looking for an opening...for a flaw...for a weakness...for a day of doubt.  Why he does this is a whole different blog, but he does.

You know what shuts him up.  I finally figured it out and although it is not always easy to remember when I am caught up in worrying about my image or my reputation or my insufficiency, it works. "It is NOT about me."  I told you it wasn't easy.  We long for it to be about us.  We so want it to be about us that sometimes we would rather chase the wind than admit it isn't.  You and I, we were created for a purpose.  When we say "yes" to Jesus and "yes" to His plan for our lives, we cannot expect to live any longer as if we are the center of the universe.  Our very decision to join the Kingdom releases us from the hardship of taking care of ourselves.

Jesus is very committed to me.  I see it time and time again.  When I am out of line, He disciplines.  When I walk out from under His wings, He guides me right back to safety.  When I am not well liked or well received by someone, He provides a place of acceptance and belonging.  He is much more committed to me, than I ever am to Him.  So those whispers, they are just a bunch of hot air.

This morning, the accuser sat on my shoulder...he has done it a lot lately in my new environment as I am meeting new people and looking for my place in this new family.  He whispered that I was ugly, that I was too forward, that everyone was perfectly happy without my input or friendship.  He kept whispering and I almost ran to hide in my shell...but then I remembered.  "It's NOT about me!  Jesus, why do you have me here and what do you want me to do?  You evidently have a purpose in all of this.  Let me follow Your Will, even if it makes me look like a fool."  And you know what I heard after that?  Crickets. :)

All Things New

All Things New

Posted by Candace

New Year!!  Yay, we made it through 2012.  What an absolutely whirlwind last year was!  As the wife of a small business owner, I had always been under the impression that life could not really get much more unpredictable...fast forward to 2012...ummm, yeah, I was totally deluded.  In less than a year, I have become an adoptive mom, a teacher (of 2 grades, no less), a spica cast expert, an Albanian, and as a result of the all former, a prayer WARRIOR.  Tonight as I enveloped myself in the music of Sherwood Baptist Church, I was reminded of how very different my life is than it was last year at this time.

Kate changed everything, but much to our surprise, she wasn't the only change that God had in store for us.  We started the magnificent journey, more commonly known as, homeschool and I could have never guessed how much of me it would require.  There is not a day that goes by that I do not learn something new or am not forced to think about the best way to help my children learn.  It has been good for us in so many ways, but has required a level of determination and sacrifice in me, that I didn't know was possible.  PRAYER WARRIOR... I am telling you.  I don't get out of bed anymore without reminding Jesus just how desperate I am for Him.  I am not a teacher, but He is strong where I am weak...and so since it is His call on my life right now, it works and it is good.  Jordan has blossomed out of his introverted shell and Nathan's penmanship...well, yeah, I'm not a miracle worker.

Just when I was breathing a sigh of relief that things might get back to normal, Kate fell.  The femur that had never been casted in China turned out to be our nemesis for several months.  After the 3rd fall and second break, the doctor decided it was time for a rod.  The weeks in these casts were painful and slow and back breaking in their hard work, but He is strong where I am weak...and so since it was His call on my life during those months, it worked and it was good.  Kate's leg has pretty much fully recovered and the girl is running...yes, running (most of the time with as few clothes on as possible) around our house.

Whew! "Lord, surely that was enough for one year."  I am now a firm believer that when we finally surrender all to Jesus, He has a lot of catching up to do to get us where we should have been.  On a random visit to Albany, Georgia, we were caught off guard by an amazing church and our intense draw to it.  I remember sitting in my pew and balling as I looked at a youth group with its hands raised in worship to the Lord...and I told Jesus "I want that for my boys".  As the weeks passed it became more and more apparent that the Lord wanted it too.  We took some really big steps of faith and here we are living in Albany.  I'm not gonna lie... this move has been hard.  Really hard.  We have totally new surroundings, very few familiar faces, and many apologies by native Albanians when we tell them we have moved from Atlanta.  My emotions are a rollercoaster.  They soar at times (mostly when I am anywhere near Sherwood) and they drop just as quickly (mostly because I am homesick for the familiar).  But He is strong where I am weak...and so since it is His call on our lives right now, it is working and it is good.  I am making many, many homeschool contacts... I joined the most amazing choir EVER tonight...and I am meeting sweet people that I could have never dreamed existed on this planet.

So tonight I lay here in bed typing away at my computer, being fully aware that tomorrow God may have another huge change in store for us.  We got some news this week that reaks of change and will need His strength.  And though, I feel like laying my head in my hands and giving up, I know that I know that I know that we have been obedient...that we are in the right place...that we are doing the right things.  For the first time in my life, I am sure that we are in the absolute perfect Will of God.  I don't know what He will do tomorrow, but you know what... I don't care.  Whatever it is, I know that eventually it will work and it will be good.  I trust Him more than I have ever trusted Him.  I don't know what will happen, how we will thrive through it, or what it looks like on the other side, but I don't need to.  I have HIM.  I am HIS.  I have an anchor firm and sure...finally I have learned not to build on sand...my foundation is taking shape on the ROCK.

You may not know what tomorrow will bring.  You may be facing some really tough stuff.  You may have had the worst year of your life in 2012.  But let me tell you, sweet friend... as long as you have Him, He is strong where you are weak...if this is His call on your life, it will work and it will be good. Hang on...only He knows how to make all things new.