Top 10 REASONS to Send OBAMA Packing

Top 10 REASONS to Send OBAMA Packing

Posted by Candace

I hate to ostracize anyone from my blog with a political post, but I guess if my complete adoration for Jesus Christ has not turned you off to me, than this probably won't either. 

 

1.       Libya – this is really the only reason I should need to give.  His state department ignored several direct requests from the Libya ambassador to beef up security, get him out of there, or foil the plot that was in the works.  As a result there was a planned terror attack on US soil in Libya where the ambassador and 3 US Seal were killed.  The White House then tries to “spin” the story and blame it on a random film against Muslims.  The media is talking for days about how this film has caused chaos in the Middle East.  This whole situation proves the incompetence of our current administration.

 

 

2.       Other Foreign Policy – He publicly turns his nose up at Israel and goes on a late night talk show.  He makes it clear that Israel isn’t any more important to us than any other country.  I guess we are going to become socialist in our friendships too…no best friends, no enemies.  He doesn’t really believe in terror and believes that it only takes a good sit down to change hatred into love…and if that doesn’t work, let’s just give in to some demands…say we aren’t a Christian nation (yeah, maybe that will make them stop attacking us, since they hate Christians)…water down our values and our boundaries.  Dangerous, dangerous ground we are on in the one true job of our government, which is to protect us.

 

 

3.       Middle Class Hype – While the President and his wife are out yelling to the hilltops that the middle class is dwindling and touting their plan to rob from the “rich” to give to the poor, they are also staying in the most luxurious accommodations around the world, taking vacations, playing golf, etc.  It has been estimated that Michelle Obama just on her own has spent over 10 million dollars in the past 4 years on five star hotels, transport, massages, site seeing, and shopping.  You would think that if they are so worried about the hard-working middle class, they would show more respect for our tax dollars.  Seriously, does anyone really believe that someone cares about the hard-working middle class when they are living the “high” life to the fullest extent right in front of our eyes.  Are we that stupid?? 

 

 

4.       Executive Orders – The President has issued 96 executive orders in his 4 years in office.  This is far, far more than any other president.  His Justice Department has frequently gone around and run right over Congress to get its way.  He has the mindset of an idealistic dictator and will stop at almost nothing to carry out his goals for America.  If you would like to know what those are read his book or watch 2016… it is quite eye opening and even more terrifying that we ever could have elected this guy in the first place.  He claims that the gloves would come off in his next term.  Heaven forbid!

 

 

5.       Government Waste – I am SOOOO tired of my hard earned money being wasted!!  This administration has done nothing but make it worse.  The stimulus money did very little to stimulate the economy, but sure did hold up traffic in a lot of places to resurface roads that were just fine.  Michelle Obama’s new mandate on healthy school lunches has seen most children’s food thrown in the trash…next they will pass a bill mandating that health food be shoved down their throats.  Money is being thrown into government programs that never have a chance of working.  You cannot force people to make right choices and money will not change stupidity.   The waste of funds that we see every day is sickening (this goes for ALL administrations and Congress too!!) Oh, and the czars… Obama has 32 of them.  Never mind that the very word “czar” means “emperor or king”.  They all seem to have salaries of $100,000 to $200,000 a year… how very middle class of them.  There’s a great list of them on the internet.  Czars have NO business in American government of the people, by the people, and for the people.

 

 

6.       Economy – Blah, blah, blah, blah… yes, he inherited a crisis, 4 years ago.  When does that stop being an excuse?  Are we any better than when he took office?  People are still out of work everywhere.  People I know that have every ability in the world to work are riding out unemployment to its end…which now a days can be up to two years.  More companies are farming out jobs overseas.  His answer… raise taxes on the “rich”, of course.  This might sound quite noble at first.  Never mind that a good majority of these “rich” already pay most of the taxes that the government brings in each year.  Never mind that some of these “rich” are small business owners that have to claim their business earnings along with their personal earnings.  So us for example… David, as a small business owner, makes less than $75,000 a year, but his company might show to make $300,000 in any given year (all of this goes out to bills, overhead, etc. but the government doesn’t care**)… we have to pay in the “rich” tax bracket… and then drive past fast food restaurants that are now taking food stamps.  We work HARD for our money… and we don’t need to be forced to give it to the government so they can waste it.  We give to multiple charities of our choice already.  Places that are accountable and actually making a difference.  America is a country to which you can come with nothing and the possibilities be endless.  We are completely ruining human motivation, ingenuity, and creativity with this leveling the playing field crap.  We are quickly losing our greatest resource…FREEDOM.

 

 

7.       Social Issues – Obama claims to want less abortion, but he recently defunded Catholic organizations for their pro-life stance… these same Catholic organizations were making headway in the sex trafficking problem in the US, something else Obama says he cares about… Yet, tax payer money is being poured into Planned Parenthood, a corrupt and angry organization, and the gloves are coming off.  The new healthcare bill funds abortions with tax payer money and I don’t think they are going to listen to, “I’m sorry, IRS, but it is against my religion to support murder with my money.”  Do you have a pro-choice mindset?  I dare you to watch October Baby and not have something pull at your heart.  People around me are an inconvenience to me every day, but it is against the law and my conscience to kill them… why is this different for our most vulnerable citizens?  Life is the core of any great nation’s belief system.  Roe vs. Wade is wrong.  It has killed millions and millions of future artists, musicians, doctors, teachers, leaders… it may have even killed a better presidential candidate then the ones we are looking at today.  Who knows what greatness was in the lives that have been ended for the sake of saving someone the trouble… but Obama is quoted “I would never punish my daughters with a baby.”  Is this how a great leader talks of his flesh and blood grandchildren?

 

 

8.       War – What it is good for? Absolutely nothing.  Sounds ideal to do away with war, with the need for defense, with weapons that threaten other countries, but bottom line…evil exists.  You can sell your soul to it, but you can’t talk it into peace.  The people out there that hate America, the only reason they need is that it is a great country and they want to bring it down to their level.  They are getting plenty of help from our president.  One of the first things he tried to do as president was do away with Guantanamo Bay prison and give terrorists the same rights as American citizens.  Then he did away with the program that keeps up with our defense weapons that would protect us from any nuclear strike.  He said these were too aggressive and we needed to be the example for peace.  I don’t know about you, but when a criminal is pointing a gun at you, you don’t throw yours down hoping that he will do the same.  Everybody hates war.  But war is a fact of life.  Freedom is something we will fight for until America’s dying day (which may not be too far away).  If they can’t have it, they want no one to have it.  War is ugly but necessary.  Some things are worth fighting for.

 

 

9.       Obamacare – he was smart to have this not truly go into effect until after the election.  This plan is not only going to put us deeper in debt as a nation, but it is going to destroy our healthcare system.  This was only a sneaky way to universal healthcare and it was shoved through with the most obvious and blatant show of vote buying that we have ever witnessed.  What happens when every insurance company in America has to honor “no preexisting conditions”?  Prices of healthcare will skyrocket.  People who are mandated to have healthcare will not be able to afford private insurance and will be forced to go with the government plan…how convenient.  Soon private healthcare will be bankrupt and I seriously doubt the government will bail them out.  Once private healthcare is out of the way, we are stuck with what we get.  Doctors and nurses are already flocking to career plan B.  Can you imagine when our doctor’s offices and hospitals are government ran and controlled?  Let me give you a mental picture… the tag office, the health department, the post office, DFaCS, etc.  It will be a “hit or miss” type of risk you will be taking with your health.  But as one woman from Canada said who had just spent 2 weeks in the hospital having a baby “You’ll love it!  It’s free!”  

 

10.   Immigration – I am all for being a “Melting Pot”, but our borders are quickly melting.  The federal government has even blocked states from protecting their own borders.  Yes, protecting our borders is one of the most important government jobs, so why aren’t they doing it?  Why are illegal aliens flooding our country and not fearing any consequences while people stand in line to become citizens the right and legal way.  In our new world of terrorist threats and attacks, why are we more worried about offending someone by asking for their driver’s license than we are about keeping our country safe and respected.  No one respects our rules any more.  Try to sneak into any other country in the world illegally and see what happens.  It seems like we are taking away freedom from the honest people and giving it to the dishonest. 

Being a law abiding, hard-working citizen is no longer rewarded.  David and I were recently trying to refinance our house to secure a lower interest rate.  We were told that the only way we could get this lower interest rate was to produce $50,000 which is the difference in what we owe on our house and what it now appraises for or be behind a few payments on our mortgage.  Oh, that encourages people to be honest.  We chose to stay with our over blown payment, but we know many people would have stopped paying their mortgage payment for a few months.  You might as well avoid getting promoted at your job or hiring more employees and growing your small business, because you are just going to be paying any extra money you make to the government and guess what, they get to use it any way that they see fit… parties, incidentals, luxury “business” trips, unnecessary employees, worthless government programs… anything that they want.  And they are accountable to no one, but us… on Election Day… This one day, the government sits in front of its people for its “review”.  Just this once, I agree with Mr. Trump… President Obama, you’re fired.

**Correction: David corrected me on my writing about his business tax world. Small business owners pay a personal tax rate on their personal income + all company "profit" in the form of K-1's. These "profits" are figured AFTER bills, overhead, etc., not before. For example, if all of David's S Corporations make $150K profit this year, he has to pay taxes on roughly $225K, putting him dangerously close to the "evil rich" that Obama/Biden refer to... This is not reality because he does not get that extra profit personally. It must be used for cash flow, investment, etc. etc.

Huge Roberts' News

Huge Roberts' News

Posted by Candace

God speaks. He plans. He leads. He makes it clear when we ask.

Last year, David and I felt like God was calling us to homeschool. This was a huge deal for us because I had always said that I would NEVER homeschool. I don't feel that I have anywhere near the teaching abilities and skills that the boys were getting at their incredible school. We were in love with that school and I had prayed every year that God would allow the boys to graduate from there, so it was very odd when suddenly I had the desire to teach the boys myself. But we took the leap of faith and decided to withdraw the boys at the end of the year.

Not long after that, we felt a strong leading to leave our fairly new church. We could not figure out why we were having such a hard time. The church was great, the truth was preached, the people were fab, but we could not get comfortable. We had many discussions, we tried to get involved, we knew we were needed, but we just kept hearing God say "this is not the place to settle down."

Time passed and we were feeling quite isolated and not sure what direction to head in. We had just ostracized ourselves from any weekly community and we had no leads on God's plan for all of this. The boys had been very attached to their school, but gradually had time to come around to the idea of trying something new. Thank goodness that their best friends are neighbors and God had planted us in an AMAZING neighborhood of people, because it would have been much harder to make these transitions without that... and Facebook ;).

After we came home with Kate, our frustration levels had gone to an all time high. David was not happy with his job. I was praying desperately for community. We were all unsure of where the next school year would take us. It was rough waters with the one bright spot of Kate (which seemed to outweigh all the rest on most days. What a gift!). One day, in a moment of pure irritation, I sent an email to David that said "Let's just move!" I got back a response of "You literally cannot imagine how many times that thought has crossed my mind. I have a very different perspective on that concept now than I used to… I am sincerely praying that God will be clear on what is next in that part of our live (or our entire life for that matter…)."

Wow. Wasn't expecting that. We actually started considering moving. This is a huge change of heart because just weeks prior to this we had been discussing the options of an above ground pool for the summers. We had often discussed how we would be in this house at least until the kids were grown and how God had provided enough room for all our future adopted kids :). I had often prayed that my boys would be rooted and grounded in the same community their whole lives because I had to move so much as a child and was never in the same school for more than 2 years until high school when everyone has already established strong bonds and friendships. This was a huge consideration for us. We threw out possibilities at random, one of which was Florida...or Hawaii...who wouldn't want God to call them there?

We could never have expected what would happen next. It still has our minds blown sometimes. We had scheduled a trip to Albany, GA on a whim. We were going to meet Kate's caseworker who helped us tremendously through our adoption process and who was much of the encouragement that I needed to make the China trip. Even a week before this trip I was not particularly excited about going. I am too embarrassed to even admit the thoughts that went through my head about South Georgia. Needless to say, it was not one of my top vacation spots. Sadly, I think the only thing that caused me not to back out was a free family picture session to get our first family pics done (no offense, Emily! I love you!).

Long story short, our first trip to Albany was amazing. We fell in love with Jay and Emily and found out he was a pastor at a church up the street from them. The moment we walked into Sherwood we were hooked. Not at all because it is famous (This is the church that produced "Facing the Giants" and "Fireproof" and "Courageous") or because we got to take pictures with actors who are also faithful servants of Jesus or even because it is beautiful and big. It was because we walked in and felt like we were home. The Presence of God was there and we could tell immediately that this church cares about following Jesus with its every move. It was just icing on the cake that it was the perfect blend of what David and I had been searching for in a community of worshippers. We almost had to drag David out of the sanctuary to leave.

While we were there, we joked about God asking us to move there. We saw a beautiful rainbow that seemed to be directly over the church and we laughed about signs and promises. We bantered back and forth about knats and 100 degree temperatures. We never could have expected that this was the planting of something huge in our lives.

Three weeks later we were back. It seems that David had suddenly received multiple large projects to quote in South Georgia, all of them an hour or less away from, wait for it.... Albany. We decided to go with him for the weekend. We enjoyed more wonderful time with our new friends, and an incredible church service once again. This time we really felt like God was doing something, but we had no idea how He would work out any details. We still had David's company and our under market value house to think about. God had some miracles to do if He was calling us to Albany. However, right in front of our eyes we started to see God pulling all the pieces of the puzzle together that we had been trying to figure out for months. We could no longer ignore the whisperings in our spirits...and we didn't want to. We decided to start praying in this direction and see what God would do.

As we were praying, we mapped out the recent jobs that David had quoted and realized that they did almost a complete circle around Albany. We talked to David's mom and she said she would be willing to rent our house if God kept leading this direction. So we decided to take another trip to Albany for the express purpose of looking at houses.

Man, this is a long story, even though I am so shortening it. If you have made it this far, you must really care about our family and what God is doing...so thank you!!! I would love to hear that you have read the whole thing 'cause it is starting to feel a little bit like a writing marathon at this point.

We went back down to Albany three weeks after our second trip to meet with a real estate agent and look at houses. We were just looking for God to open or close the door. We fell in love with the first house we looked at. The boys loved it too...so much so that they were excited about the thought of moving. It was wide open and gorgeous and had just enough room. We looked at 9 other houses that day, but none compared with the first one. Was this what God had for us?

The next day at church, we were describing this house to Jay and telling him how much he loved it. He said "That is the house." You see, on our first trip to Albany, Jay and Emily had mentioned how they had tried to sell their 3 bedroom 1700 square foot house for a year with no success (Did I mention that they have 5 kids? Yes, 7 people in this space for years). They had recently taken it off the market to refinance because God just did not seem to be moving them. In the midst of all of this, a house went on the market that they had loved for years. This house used to belong to the senior pastor of Sherwood. When it went on the market, his daughter had texted Emily and told her it was up for sale and she would love for them to buy it. They couldn't, though, because they had not sold their house. This house is the very same one we had looked at and fell in love with. The price had just been reduced on it too. I looked at Jay and said, "We are not buying Emily's house!" Jay tried to reassure us that the house was not theirs and they had no claim on it at all and obviously God had not moved, so they would love for us to consider it, but we could read the disappointment. We did not know it yet, but Jay had literally filled out a prayer request and laid it on the altar that morning about their house situation.

All through service I struggled inwardly. We all loved that house. It was gonna make the move easier on the boys. If we were going to have to live in Albany, I wanted it to be in that house. Yet I knew in my heart what God was saying. I argued with Him all through service. I even told Him that I was not the one He needed to convince, it was David. I was so sure that David would never go for what I felt God was telling me.

After service, on the way out to our car, I turned to David and I said, "Do you think God might want us to buy Jay and Emily's house?" I was completely expecting him to say, "What in the world are you talking about?" Instead what came out of his mouth was "God was saying the exact same thing to me all through service." Well, that settled it. If I have learned one thing in my lifetime, it is NEVER to directly disobey God's voice (and no, David, I am not referring to you as God ;). No matter how much you love or are attached to something on this earth, it NEVER works out for the best. Anything that makes you disobey is an idol and needs to be dealt with before it wreaks havoc in God's plans for your life.

We told Jay and Emily our plans (or better yet, God's plans) that afternoon. Emily had actually already scheduled to meet a real estate agent out at that house the next week just completely on faith. We were blown away at the timing of all of this, especially considering that we had come to Albany on a whim that weekend. As we were making the 3 hour drive home, Jay called David and further blew our minds. Evidently, a local pastor had called up the Sherwood pastor that day and told him that one of his congregation members was putting in an offer on this house that weekend. Jay and Emily put in a full offer that Monday and it was accepted over 2 other offers. If it hadn't have been that exact weekend, they would have lost the house. How GREAT is our God?!? No man could have ever worked out timing so intricately.

This was all in August. Since then we have been trying to get a second loan on Jay and Emily's house as we could obviously not sell our house in this market. We were pretty much denied on the first loan we applied for and it left us questioning everything that had happened to that point. Was this really God's plan or did we just make all this stuff up? We stood strong in faith believing that our finite minds could have never come up with such a plan. Finally, yesterday a second loan came through and was approved. This is a complete miracle in the current economic climate where people are walking away from their homes. We were obviously downsizing and moving 3 hours away, so any bank could have looked at that as a plan to abandon our current house payment. Even in the waiting God provided. When Jay and Emily put a contract on their new home, they only had a month to close without penalty, but obviously had to wait for us to close first. Their time should have been up in September, but the seller kept delaying to make repairs. Now we should close at very near the same time and without penalty or loss of contract.

So short story very long, we are moving to Albany. David's mom will rent out our house. I am so excited for her to finally have a big enough place to entertain our growing extended family. Plus she will be closer to most of her children and only 15 minutes from a drive to work that used to take her over an hour. David will be starting a new branch of Ascend in Albany. We are not sure what this looks like yet, but know that God will provide. He will be up to his main branch weekly for meetings and such. We will be able to stay in our own basement when we come for visits and such. There are just so many things that God has worked out in all of this.

I want to use all of this to encourage someone.  God DOES have a plan.  Even when it doesn't look like it or seem like it, if you can just grab on to faith and believe that no matter what you "see" He will come through...He will.  Keep asking, keep knocking, keep waiting patiently.  Don't try to work it out yourself...don't start worrying or fretting... don't panic or give in to doubt.  He IS working.  We are living proof.  There is NOTHING special about us except the fact that we desire to follow Jesus with our whole heart.  When your desire becomes for His Name and Renown more than anything else, crazy things start happening.

We don't have an exact move date, but it will be in the next couple of weeks. Please be in prayer for us as we make this huge transition. David has never lived outside of metro Atlanta and we are leaving all of our family and close friends behind. This will be truly starting over for us. We need your prayer support. Thank you for loving us enough to read all the way to the end. We love you too!

Hard Words

Hard Words

Posted by Candace

I want to tell you a story. 

I want it to be big and wonderful and glorious, but I also want it to be true and right and honest...a story from the heart...for God's glory and His alone.

I want to tell this story, not because it is easy to write...it's not...not because it makes anyone look good...it doesn't...and not because it has a fairy tale ending...it probably won't.  I want to take a risk and open the deepest recesses of my heart, so that the enemy loses ground in all of this.  I want to "kick him in the head" so to speak.  I want the Name of Jesus to be louder than any other song, and if God gives me the words, maybe this small contribution will move that goal forward.

Some of you will know parts of this story...those of you that know any of it will think that it started 10 years ago... it actually started much further back then that.  It started when my mom was born.

Honestly, I never thought that I would write much about my mom or my childhood until my parents had passed on.  I don't desire to hurt them in any way or to divulge things that might embarrass or offend...and if I tell this story like I want to, it has the risk of doing both.  Only just recently did it even occur to me that this might help someone else, and so I will take the risk.

My mom was born in the 1950's in Washington State.  My grandpa was a butcher as far as I know of his career and my blood grandma was schizophrenic.  She has one sister who is 10 years older than her and they were never close.  I don't know very much about my mom's childhood because she has never been particularly open about it, but I do know that it was filled with instability from the start.  When my mom was 14, her mom, who had been institutionalized for mental illness (in an age where there wasn't much hope for people with her problems), passed away.  Six months later, my grandpa brought home the only grandma that I have ever known and sent my mom to live with relatives in Oregon.  My mom had been very close to her dad and I am sure resented this new woman who had "replaced" her, so I am certain this, along with the loss of her mother, was very traumatizing to her.  I cannot imagine such darkness.  While living with relatives, my mother was abused.  I have no details, I only heard this come out of her mouth to the intake counselor at the hospital just a couple of weeks ago.  I had no idea.  Cast off, abused, shunned... the list is probably a mile long of things working against her from the beginning.

My mother's teenage years were filled with experimenting and destruction.  I am sad to say that I don't even know how she came to know the Lord exactly, but she met Him and her life began to change.  He lifted her out of the miry clay and she began to establish a life.  She met my dad shortly after that and though he was unsaved, he pursued my mom with a passion and eventually met the Lord as well.  They got married and became pregnant with me.

Around Christmas time before my July birthday, my mom thought she was miscarrying me.  She began bleeding and had to be rushed to the hospital.  She tells me that she prayed and prayed that she would not lose me...she had already had a couple of short previous pregnancies and she wasn't sure that her body would carry a child correctly anymore.  Obviously God was gracious, because here I am today, but after my birth, postpartum depression threatened to do my mom in.  I know only bits and pieces of the story, but the part I do know that she has always told freely and without reserve is that Jesus walked into her room one day and touched her and she was able to once again function normally.  She has always been very adamant that she felt His physical presence.  Oh, how He loves her.

Despite my mom's relationship with the Saviour, there were many things that she could not seem to let go of.  She held on to some major insecurities and some major fears.  She had a tendency to be controlling and manipulative, no doubt out of fear that she would lose the preciousness of what God was gifting her with.  She had three more kids after me and we became a good bit of her world.

My mom was born with a gift.  She is a very talented musician and over the years led worship in several churches.  Even in that gift, she had very little confidence, always berating herself for the smallest of errors, always feeling less than and threatened...never truly trusting the Giver of all good and perfect gifts, though I know she loved Him as much as she knew how to love.  Just as she loved us as much as she knew how to love...and looking back, I know that she didn't really know how to love at all...not as she really wanted to. 

Our childhood was somewhat unstable.  I will spare the details, because all I have is my 33 year old perspective and my moments with my own children.  My mom and my dad had marital issues throughout, but I specifically remember a few seasons that were particularly rough.  As the oldest, I took on a good bit of mental responsibility that I was not ready for.  I became a confidante in the rough times and children are just not meant for that burden.  Fear was often a way of survival and a close friend.  After many years, my dad left and my mom gave up.

Despite everything that my mom was not when we were growing up, she was my spiritual hero.  She loved Jesus so much and spent a good bit of our days trying to make us love Him too :).  She wanted so badly for her children to serve the God that had rescued her.  Our foundation of faith came from her.  I used to think to myself that if I knew one thing to be true about life and one thing that was stable and unchanging, it was and would be my mom's relationship with the Lord.  I felt that if that ever fell apart, the world would probably end.

And one day, it did.  My dad left.  And this added more damage to a woman whose fractures had never truly healed.  You see, though my mom loved Jesus and followed Him, she could never quite forgive herself or leave behind the guilt, shame, and pain of all that had gone on in her life.  She couldn't quite shake off the victim mentality that the enemy had planted from a very young age.  She knew the Word backwards and forwards and she believed it fully for other people, but when it came to herself, she just couldn't fully accept that she was worth the effort.  I think to this day she might believe that she is the only one on earth that was born unworthy and beyond even the help of her Creator.  I also think that when she got saved, she believed that everything was water under the bridge and she would never need to seek out counseling or speak of the darkness that had formed her into adulthood.  She was saved in a church age where church faces needed to be happy, free, and hopeful.  If you know Jesus, it fixes everything after all and we should go on to live glorious, free lives.  There was something wrong with you if an encounter with Jesus didn't fix your whole being for the rest of your life.

I want to stop here, because some of you still believe this.  You believe that when you got saved, even though you might still have trials in your circumstances and tragedies on the outside, when it comes to the inside of the cup, you should be perfect...never doubting, never fearing, never remembering bad days, or wrestling with horrible memories.  After all, you are a new creature...old things have passed away... and they have!  It is true!  But unfortunately, the minds that we are created with do not become new over night.  They must be renewed and they must believe what God says...on purpose.  You MUST know the Word and you MUST work to believe the Word.  Your mind will not just automatically accept what God says.  Some of the things He says will go against EVERYTHING the world has taught you to believe.  And the devil will fight.  He doesn't play fair...he will use every weapon in the book when he feels that you are moving forward in your gifting and purpose.  Many Christians never face these battles, because they never attempt to move forward.  They are content being heaven bound...who cares about changing a hopeless world that God will make new one day any way.  Some of us with this mentality need to examine if we are even "in the faith", because anyone truly following Christ will pray and work to be a good steward of the "talents" God has given them.  Once you begin walking hand in hand with God's purpose for your life, things will get challenging.  The enemy will fight, and as a good soldier, you have to be ready, or he will sweep the rug right out from under you.  He uses the most sneaky tactics and he has studied every one of your weaknesses.  If you haven't dealt with issues in your past...faced them...forgiven others and yourself...laid them at the cross and decided this life is not about you or your past...he will know and he will throw it in your face for the rest of your life.

My mom was moving forward.  She was working in her calling.  Then crisis hit, and instead of running to her relationship with Jesus after my dad left, my mom ran to what she thought would ease the pain.  She took control and ended up out of control.  The enemy had all of his weapons directly aimed at her weakest points and had just been waiting for an opportunity.  Her shield went down and he struck.  Eventually and through many horrid circumstances, she ended up institutionalized and diagnosed with schizophrenia.  She spent the next 8 or 9 years getting back on her feet and trying to reestablish some semblence of a life.

About a year ago, God was very gracious and seemed to grow my mom in leaps and bounds.  She seemed to be doing better.  She got out on her own.  She felt that God had once again rescued her and given her a purpose and I am very sure that He did.  I just don't think she was prepared for what the enemy thought of that.  There are still old and even new wounds festering with infection inside my mother.  Wounds that need to be brought into the light and wrapped with bandages of godly love and counsel.  When the enemy fought he knew exactly where to swing and he is currently standing over her thinking that he has given the knock out blow.

My mom is back in the hospital.  They are trying to get her meds adjusted and saying that it is deep depression, and no doubt some of it is a physical problem...but my mom also has a host of parasites.  They are lies.  The lie that she is not good enough and never will be. The lie that she is guilty and her sins have finally caught up with her. The lie that no one really loves her and she is unlovable and that's why no one ever stayed.  The lie that she should have been something great and look where she is.  The lie that she is powerless and hopeless and defeated.  She is consumed by these...never learning how to battle against the fiery darts with her name on them.  And she also has amnesia... What my mom forgets is that she is a child of a King.  She is a beautiful princess.  She has been given treasures that the enemy can NEVER take away.  She forgets that he is a liar and the father of them and that when she gave her heart to Jesus, she became safe and protected.  She forgets the end of the story and that she was truly created by a God who knows what He is doing with His creation.  She forgets that He is full of redemption and his favorites are the most broken, the most unworthy, and the most hopeless.  She forgets that God don't make junk!  And I think the Devil has forgotten too.  He has dared to mess with a princess...to kidnap her and make her believe she is his slave.  He has dared to put his ugly, nasty, "damned to hell" hands on her and he has forgotten that he will pay.  He has forgotten that when God's children cry out to Him in desperation, he comes running with smoke pouring from His nostrils and fire in His eyes. 

I don't believe this is how the story ends.  I want to believe and hope that I will one day soon blog again and tell you amazing stories of how God rescued my mom, gave her hope, and placed her in a wide open places. I want to tell you of the ways that Jesus is using her for His glory and how happy and fulfilled she is.  I want to finish this story with redemption and restoration...restoration of everything that the locust have eaten in my mom's life.  I want her to have a double portion.  I even want her to have a husband...to not be alone anymore.  I know that He can do it.  I know that He has her plan in His Hands even now.  But I also know that even if she never gets better, He is still God, and He will use her story for His glory.  You see she belongs to Him...eternally...whether or not she believes it...and not all of the God's children's stories have happy earthly endings, but I am confident that they all have happy eternal ones.

The older I get, the more I realize...the less we make life about us, the happier we are.  I must decrease so He can increase.  I am only a vessel...and when I am only a vessel, there is no pressure for me to have a reputation or respect or success or beauty or material possessions...that is all up to the Filler of the vessel.  He has the plan, and I am being taught right here and now to trust that more than anything I see with my eyes.  I pray that He will use what He has helped me to write tonight for His Kingdom and His Glory (and to knock the devil's head off).

Our desire is for Your Name and Your Renown.

Reunited with My Blog!

Reunited with My Blog!

Posted by Candace

So hello, blog, it's been a while!  I have missed you... I've just been, well, kinda busy.

As you all well know (from my 50,000 Facebook posts...and if you're not on Facebook you might not "well know"), Katherine Hope had an accident six and a half weeks ago and broke her upper femur.  The break was right below the place that her leg had been broken in China and healed incorrectly.  Thankfully she had a Mommy and Daddy for this break and when it was xrayed yesterday, the doctor was super pleased with how well it had healed.

YES!  Yesterday she finally had the cast that covered her entire left leg and most of her stomach and chest removed!  I cannot even tell you how excited I was.  Just the thought that soon she would be sitting in an upright position made my heart leap for joy.  You don't realize how incredibly God created the human body to work together until one of the parts is not working right.  In our case, we endured six weeks of a two year old who could only lay or lean.  Needless to say, it was a long six weeks and yesterday was worth celebrating.

The doctor's assistant used a cast saw to cut the cast off and we were able to video the entire thing!  Kate was not happy when she saw the saw and heard the noise it made, but despite the loud protests, she shed no tears.  When it was finally cut away and removed, she just stared at her leg for the longest time.  We had forgotten that it was still there :).  She lost 15 lbs instantly and today when I weighed her, I realized that she has gained NO weight.  She is the same size she was 6 weeks ago and still barely filling out 18 month clothes.  She is a tiny, tiny girl.  I just love miniature things, don't you? ;)

 

 

Not only did Kate need extra attention these last few weeks, but so did the boys.  Let me just say, teaching is NO JOKE!  And I am extremely grateful, now more than ever, for every invested teacher I have ever had.  By invested, I mean teachers who put their whole heart into their job because they care about their students and their futures.  Teachers who spend long hours planning and replanning until they know that their students will be able to grasp the concepts.  Teachers whose hearts sink when their students turn in work that could obviously have been better.  I have become one of those teachers...teaching 2 different grades my first year, no less.

I am learning a lot about education.  It is not necessarily measured by grades or questions answered correctly.  Sometimes it is measured by mistakes and the correcting of those mistakes.  It is not necessarily the information that you are teaching that matters most.  Sometimes it is simply the skills of listening, repeating, understanding, and obeying that will be used later in life.  It is not necessarily the love of the current concept that we are learning about that is most important.  Rather, sometimes the crucial thing is the love of learning and the willingness to stay positive through the difficulties and challenges.

I have realized that no matter what curriculum I am using and no matter what fact we are currently memorizing, I am teaching my children so much more than book smarts.  They are learning how to face a challenge head on, how to adjust to all things not ideal, how to be flexible and open to change, how to maintain relationships in close quarters day after day after day, and how to be responsible and self motivated.  They are also teaching me.  They are teaching me how to share knowledge and information, how to be patient when concepts are not being understood, how to manage my time wisely, how to take definite breaks, how use the smallest of life's moments as a lesson, and how to give myself credit for the tiniest advances in my abilities as a mom and instructor.

When God called me to homeschool, I was sure that it would be no big deal.  After all, I was getting a video curriculum that would teach my children for me...all I would have to do is babysit them.  Now I realize that God tricked me into this ;).  The videos did not work for my two boys with focus issues and a 2 year old little sister.  It was quite clear after a couple of weeks, that if I wanted them to learn anything this year, I would need to do it myself.  So here I am teaching and learning right along with my children, and loving every second of it (Okay, so maybe "every second" of it is a stretch...there is still math time after all).  I was called to this and for this and who knows how many years I will attempt it, but I am so grateful for the privilege right now of being the greatest influence, mentor, and teacher of all my children. 

In other news, well, I can't give the other news yet...and it's probably a good thing because this post has become long-winded already, but there is other news....  STAY TUNED :)!

Blonde Moments and Ortho Appointments

Blonde Moments and Ortho Appointments

Posted by Candace

Today was Kate's one week ortho check up to make sure that her bone was still in the correct position for healing.  David was super swamped at work, so he took the boys to the office and let me drive his car to Atlanta...brave man!  I must say that it was much easier to get Kate in and out of his little car than it is my big van.  Since she can't sit up, she has to lay across a seat in a harness in the car.  This presents a difficult entry and exit in the van as I have to climb in, shove my way to the back seat, lay her down, strap her in, and climb out.  So David's sacrifice was a big one :).

I rushed out of the house this morning forgetting Kate's stroller and her diaper bag and breakfast.  I seriously do not think I was completely awake because I haven't been so thoughtless in a long time.  As I was pulling out of the driveway, the light bulb came on, but then I realized that I had also forgotten my house key...so that was that. 

Kate's ortho is in Atlanta, so my drive would be around an hour.  I sent up a little prayer for no poop, and weaved my way down I-20 and 285 in complete peace and quiet.  The car was so serene without the boys arguing, fighting, and basically trying to kill each other.  I should have known I was in trouble when I missed my exit off 285 and added 10 minutes to my drive according to my GPS.  When I got on 85, Kate started to have a meltdown...and I do mean MELTDOWN.  She kept repeating through adamant screams that she wanted to get out.  So here I am in 85 traffic trying to keep my cool and avoid all the professional commuters, all the while trying to explain to a screaming child that getting her way would definitely not make her happier at the moment.  The exit I got off on was packed and of course, I was in the wrong lane to make the righthand turn directly off of it, so once again my GPS was rerouting me...and the screams were not stopping.  I glanced back at Kate who had somehow wiggled out of her harness and was now up on all fours in the backseat.  Traffic was bad on the reroute and I knew it would be 10 more extra minutes before we arrived.  All I could do was pray "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus... HELP ME!"  (Obviously I don't do well in high pressure Atlanta traffic situations.)

I contemplated stopping at a drive thru because it was now after 10am and I had yet to eat or drink, but I thought it would probably a total disaster since they couldn't hear my order anyway.  I finally arrived at the Ortho office after a few more U turns and a misstep into an abandoned building parking lot and pulled Kate out of the car...of course, her screams ceased immediately.  But I had another problem...no stroller... so I had no choice but to carry Kate everywhere in the cast that weighs as much as she does.  I also had to go to the bathroom, which was an Olympic feat in itself with a 2 year old in one arm.  I learned today how to pull up and button my pants with one hand!!

The doctor appointment itself went very smoothly.  Kate got a couple of xrays and then her ortho showed us that she is healing very nicely.  He scheduled the cast to come off in 5 weeks, which is Sept. 26th.  Nice to have a set in stone countdown.  I am very comfortable with this new ortho and we would have never met him had not Kate broken her leg, so I know that there has been purpose in all of this...remind me of that over the next 5 weeks, K?

After we finished at the doctor, we decided to have lunch at Boston Market right up the street and I only had to make one U-turn to get there!  It was yummy, especially after the breakfast of tic tacs that I had in the waiting room.  After eating, we stopped by QT right next door and got a pack of diapers because I wasn't taking any chances.  I changed Kate in the parking lot and we headed home.  All of this required a lot of muscle, so I was exhausted on the drive home.  Kate got the nap in the back seat and I struggled to keep myself uncomfortable enough to not let my eyes close.  After the hour drive home, I was ready to crash, but remembered as I pulled into the driveway that I didn't have a house key...and that someone had removed the spare and not put it back where is belongs (not naming any names...DAVID!).  This meant I had to drive to Loganville and get my keys from David...which means I would have to get the rest of the kids from David...which means no nap for Candace.

I promise I have a brain... I just need to go find out where I misplaced it.  It is probably somewhere back in dreamland wondering how my body is functioning without enough sleep.  Maybe I'll catch up with it tonight and it will be well rested!

Drama, Drama, Drama...

Drama, Drama, Drama...

Posted by Candace

Saturday began with nothing on the schedule.  I was cooking breakfast and hoping to get a little bit of work caught up that I was behind on.  Nathan and Kate were playing in the kitchen.  Nathan wanted so badly to pick Kate up and she, as usual, wanted nothing of the sort.  So he tried to lift her and she kicked him hard in response.  The result was a boom and Kate on the floor crying.  I turned around and went to comfort her.  This scenario is not unusual at our house.  The boys are boys and Kate is a unsteady, spitfire toddler.  She often ends up sprawled on the floor somewhere laughing or smiling or even sometimes whining and needing a little hug from mommy, but this time was different.  When I picked her up, her body went stiff and she had a hard time catching her breath from the sobs.  She clung to my shirt desperately and her eyes were terrified. 

At first I thought that maybe she had hurt her head, because it had also hit the floor, but when she could finally tell me what was wrong, she was pointing to her leg... the leg that had already broken once in China and had healed the wrong way...the leg that is already shorter... the leg that haunts me every now and then with the taunting thought that I was not there when she broke it and couldn't make sure someone fixed it.  When she wouldn't stop crying or let me move it at all, I knew it was time for xrays.  I called David, who was on the golf course, and headed for Newton ER.  Thank goodness I had sense enough to take the bacon out of the oven and turn off the stove.  I KNOW for a fact that the Holy Spirit helped me to keep calm because Kate was screaming her head off,  breakfast was still going on in the kitchen, the boys were doing there own thing, and I was still in my pj's.  Somehow we all ended up in the car ready to go in less than 5 minutes.  Despite my misgivings, I strapped Kate into her car seat suffering through her screams of pain and headed to the ER.

Once there, we were taken back quickly even though the waiting room was pretty full.  David arrived to find us already back in a room.  They took xrays and quickly discovered that Kate had broken her femur again.  Not in the same place, but right below the original break.  I was asked several times "now how did this happen again?"  I explained the situation to each nurse and the xray technicians and the doctor until I was tired of saying "China...previously broken leg...fibrous dysplasia...weak bones...special needs...etc. etc."  I know by the end I sounded rehearsed, but there wasn't much I could do about that.

Newton was kind enough not to try to repair Kate's leg, but transferred her to Egleston, so that pediatric specialists could determine the best course of action.  I was relieved and grateful, as I did not really feel comfortable with the local ER doctor in this case.  They let us drive Kate ourselves up to the hospital, so we stopped home and picked up clothes for everyone.  They were admitting us directly to the surgical floor so we did not think we would be going home that night.

We finally arrived at Egleston and were again impressed (we have been there before with Nathan) at the caliber of this Children's hospital.  Kate received such great care from the nurses who had to poke and prod her at every turn.  They loved on her and even tried their best not to mess with her leg until they had to.  Since we were told we would not have orders for surgery until the morning, we called my sister to come pick up our boys.  Love my awesome sisters who love my children so much.  The boys were actually stoked that they got to spend the night with their Aunts, so no trauma there.  David and I took turns keeping Kate company in the bed.  She was not in a lot of pain and barely had to take any medicine (one TOUGH cookie), but she was very scared and by night time was begging to go "bye bye".  I explained that the doctor was going to fix her boo boo, and though she was not very happy with the prospect of spending the night, she seemed to understand the necessity of all we were doing.  My heart rejoiced as I realized that she is learning to trust us, even in times of great pain and perceived danger.  As long as Mommy or Daddy was there to protect her, she would be okay.  We did, however, have to endure a visit from child protective services because of the femur fracture.  Evidently this is policy at this hospital, which greatly saddened David and I as we thought of all the cases of abuse they must see.  I won't lie... my heart about stopped when they told us that we would be visited and asked questions.  I have just heard so many stories about misunderstandings and jumping to conclusions and the like.  You can imagine how hard I prayed that Jesus would protect our family.  We had nothing to worry about as they all quickly assessed the situation and made notes in our file that we were clear from any suspicion.  I did, however, ask my pediatrician this morning to give us an official letter explaining Kate's diagnosis and prognosis for any future situations.  They woulda had to remove me from that room dead if they had accused us of anything :).

The night was pretty much devoid of sleep... I mean, at least for Mommy.  When Kate wasn't awake and crying, the nurses were in waking her up to take vitals or blood or mess with the equipment.  I am a light sleeper so hospital visits equal little to no sleep for this worried Momma.  At one point Kate's sugar was very high and the anesthesiologist suspected diabetes, but the next bloodwork came back normal, so we are pretty sure she does not have diabetes.  Finally it was morning and they came to take her down to surgery.  They gave her some loopy meds and we took some hilarious video in the OR preop room as she was pretty much out of it.  When the ortho was ready for her, she was not loopy enough to realize that she was being taken from Mommy and cried for me until we were out of earshot.  The only thing that kept me walking forward to the family waiting room was knowing that if I rescued her now, I would only be prolonging the miserable.  Separation was a must.

The "surgery", which was actually just the cast being put on, only took about 45 minutes from start to finish.  The orthopedic who treated her was a keeper and the blessing in disguise in all of this is that we were still looking for a good long term ortho.  We found him.  He came in when he was done and talked with us for about 30 minutes, answering all of our questions and offering his advice on Kate's condition.  We will follow up with him in about a week to make sure Kate's leg has not shifted in her cast.  The ortho's technician has also put Kate's "sock puppy" stuffed animal in a cast just like hers which we thought was so cool.  I cannot say enough about Children's.

After surgery, Kate was DONE.  As she was being rolled back in, still drowsy, she was frantically waving her arms and saying "bye bye".  She was ready to GO!  She wanted me to hold her, but when I did, she slapped me hard across the face and continued to thrash around.  After I got bit and gouged with fingernails, it was Daddy's turn.  Finally they brought some Loritab and that combined with a wheelchair ride around the 4th floor seemed to do the trick as our Kate with the twinkle in her eye returned.

She did really well after surgery, despite the large cast that goes from her chest to her ankle on the left side.  They cleared us to leave within 2 or 3 hours.  We strapped her into the car with a safety harness made particularly for the spica cast because you are unable to sit in it.  We grabbed the boys and some Krispy Kreme (which somehow made up for the lost sleep...love those things) and headed home.

Since then, things have once again been in an uproar around here. David and I are both fighting head colds.  The boys are bored without their friends who are at school.  Kate is tired of "laying" around.  We found that the umbrella stroller works great for keeping her propped up, but as any normal 2 year old, day after day of being tied down is torture.  Thank goodness for Nathan, who often gives her rides around the house when she is particularly cranky.  This works like a charm.  Despite being warned about getting the cast wet, we woke up to a pee pee soaked Kate this morning.  What do you do??  She's 2.  Yes, I will limit drinks at night from now on and change her in the middle of the night, but the damage has been done and the cast is no longer in pristine condition...after 1 day!!  Whew!  Only 41 to go.  I really can't even think about it or I will cry, so I will just continue to take one day at a time.

So no, not ideal conditions, but we never expected the ideal.  We knew the choice of Kate would be riddled with difficulties...mountains to climb, oceans to cross, casts to blow dry.  We have heard many "bless your hearts" and "we are so sorry you have to go through this".  Funny thing is, we are not sorry at all.  We are so completely blessed to have been chosen to parent Kate, and we are treasuring even the hard things.  In those hardest of moments in the hospital, all my heart could sing was how happy I was to be right there by my baby's side this time...to not ever again have to wonder how something happened or what she had been through...to be able to sing to her and kiss her and dry her tears and reassure her that all would be okay.  I will scream it to the hilltops WORTH IT ALL!  Forget competing in the Olympics or climbing Mt. Everest or skydiving or running a marathon or traveling the world... you want a rush?  Go get the children that God has waiting for you and then watch Him working LIVE.  Yes, girls are drama and we have lots of it here, but don't you think life is really pretty boring without the drama?

Leaving Kate

Leaving Kate

Posted by Candace

There have been moments since China that I have felt like a first time mom all over again, and today was one of them.  Three months ago, David had asked me to attend a conference with him at a church in Woodstock and since it was three months out and before I met my precious daughter, I readily agreed.  Amazing how a couple of months changes things.

Since Kate came home in May, she has not been out of our sight for more than an hour or so at a time.  We have left her in the nursery at church on Sundays only because it became a waste of time for me to even attend when I spent the whole service outside of the service.  Since we are currently in transition again in our church life, it has been several different nurseries, but only for a short amount of time.  I have developed my first post adoption frustration on several of these Sundays.  I really don't mind being stared at everywhere that I go (and I do mean everywhere).  I really do not mind the questions (even the ridiculously naive ones like "Does she look like her father?") because most of the time they give us glorious opportunity to share God's redemption.  I have realized over these weeks though, that I am absolutely aggravated by being treated like an overprotective, petrified mom when I drop my daughter off with complete strangers.  It hasn't been at every church, but at the majority of them when I ask them to call me at even the slightest concern, they look at me with this patronizing look and tell me that she will be fine.  I know that they mean well, but here's why I have a problem with that.  First of all they would not know if she wasn't fine without some basic background information that I have yet to be asked for.  When Kate is terrified, she doesn't cry like normal children, she simply goes blank.  She dons a look that any parent that has never adopted would classify as "fine" in the very moments when she is the least fine.  However, it seems that as I try explain this and tell them that she has only been home two months, they blow it off and give me the "fine" speech again like I have attachment issues.  Now I am not denying that I do.  As a matter of fact, I think that when I leave her, Kate is much more fine than I am.  I cannot wait to get back to her and make sure she is confident that I am coming back for her always, but I simply do not need to be looked at like I am overreacting.  I stood in a room in China and was handed a little girl who had only ever known an orphanage as home.  She sat in my arms terrified as I tried to comfort her with words she could not understand.  She finally has started to trust our love and I am not eager to give her any reason to doubt it, even for a second.  She is not old enough to know that mommy and daddy will come back.  I have valid reasons to be concerned.  The second reason this bothers me is a more prideful one...this is not my first rodeo.  I have done this two times already.  I have experience.  I am a professional.  When I tell a stranger that I want to be notified if my daughter breathes the wrong way, I expect them to take it seriously...maybe ask me a question or two about what they might look for or what situations to avoid.  I have not resorted to whisking her away as of yet because David is quite adamant that we teach her we will be back, and so far she has been "fine" (I know because I check on her at least twice during service even if I do get a few "what are you doing here again?" looks.), but she has also been VERY excited to see us after service, and has now begun to get scared as soon as we get to church that we are going to leave her in the nursery.

So needless to say, as this conference drew closer and closer, I became more and more nervous about leaving my daughter for the whole day.  I knew that I would need to leave her with, not only someone I trusted, but someone that Kate trusted.  Alisha Bowen was the perfect person to ask. She has been a close friend for a few years now and Kate absolutely loves her.  Not only that but she has followed our story from the beginning and knows the difficulties and differences between biological children and newly adopted children and she loves Kate.  Despite the amazingness of Aunt Leesha, I was still dreading leaving my daughter.  As I dropped her off, I fought the urge to turn around and go back home.  The thoughts that seem to consistently overwhelm me are imaginations of Kate as an infant and a toddler without a mother, being passed from caretaker to caretaker, never knowing the stability or love of a mommy.  My prevailing concern is that she will relate me leaving her to the only other transition she has known which happened in China when she became a part of our family forever.  As I drove away, I felt spacklings of guilt in the back of my mind...after all, she has only been home two months. Was it too soon?

Kate had a great time at her Aunt Leesha's.  She played with Leesha's 5 kids, took a nap, went swimming, and even went to the potty a record 5 times.  However, when it came time to reunite with mommy, she RAN across the front yard and held on tight.  She seemed a bit suprised that I had come back for her...surprised but thrilled.  She is slowly learning that she finally belongs...forever!